Friday, February 15, 2013

Keeping a long story short (Ha! Who am I kidding?!)...



It has been awhile since my last update on Banner, which is too bad. The little guy has done so much growing and developing recently, it just about blows my mind. Every day he is less and less of a baby and more and more of a little boy. I guess, until this point, his progress has been more gradual. And then *WHAM* warp speed ahead. Even Trevor noticed (which is really saying something).

Banner babbles constantly, but it is mostly jibber jabber. Very rarely does he say anything that makes any sense (at least to us), but he does have his own way of clearly making his wants, needs and desires known.


He will point at Trevor and say "dada", still says either "da" or "ga" for dog and will bark when he sees one (although his "bark" is less of a "woof, woof" and more of a "ooo, ooo" noise). He will also sign to us by repeatedly opening and closing his hand when he is hungry. I think this is supposed to only mean "milk" but Banner uses it for everything from thirsty to feed me now.

He also says "hi" and "bye", but not consistently enough for me to really feel confident that it is anything more than coincidence. On the few situational appropriate occasions when "hi" or "bye" came out, though, it completely stopped me in my tracks. Because, OMG, did my baby really just say that?!


He knows "mama", but doesn't use it like "dada" for Trevor. He WILL, however, say mama more when I'm around or in the room and stop when I leave, so I’m pretty sure he associates it with me. Maybe.  I think he is keeping me guessing on purpose to drive me crazy.  Always the comedian, that one.

Banner also knows how to wave, blow kisses and make fishy faces. Although, he will do none of these things if you ask him to perform on command in front of someone who hasn't seen him for a while, which makes us feel like big, fat liars. He can do them all, though. I swear.

(Really.  He can do it.  Promise.)


Which brings me to the things I wish he wouldn't do in public: Trevor has taught him to shakes his head and go "boo" and head butt. Because? Well, honestly, I have no clue. To be fair, though, last week I drank something cold, got a brain freeze and hit my forehead with the heal of my right hand two or three times. When I looked up, Banner was laughing and hitting himself in the head with his palm. And wouldn't you know he would remember it DAYS later?


So, on occasion, you may see my child toddling around shaking his head nonsensically, attempting to head butt strangers and smacking his head with his hand - all while laughing hysterically at himself.

Yep. That's my boy.

(We might be the worst parents ever.)


Add this to Banner's latest trick (compliments of dad, of course) where he gets right up in your face with wide eyes, and randomly screams "RWAR", and I'm pretty sure my kid is the one all the other parents talk about when they think we aren't paying attention.

He is also on a mission to eat paper. Last week he ate the paper apple off his art project at school. Which is funny since he refuses to eat actual apple when I give it to him. In fact, he refuses most of what I make him. I know part of it is a developmental phase (he just realized that he doesn't have to eat everything we put in front of him), but it is still frustrating when you make him something like scrambled eggs (fresh from my mother’s coop), pasta, chopped up steamed veggies or seasonal fruit, etc. and he spits it back out and gags like you just fed him garbage.

Meanwhile, Trevor makes him buckwheat and quinoa "mancakes" (i.e. pancakes) and Banner will gladly eat those nonstop for days. I try not to take it personally, but OMG.


Speaking of food, Banner's favorite things to eat (other than Trevor's mancakes) are bananas, crackers, breakfast bars, fruit squeezies, crackers, Jammie Sammies, biscuits, crackers, cheese, yogurt, fiddlesticks, buckwheat or flax seed waffles, tofu and, you guessed it, crackers. You can always tell when Banner is enjoying what he is eating because he makes a lot of “MMmmm” noises. He also LOVES these Bistro Bowls made by Plum Organics with quinoa, and would gladly eat them every night for dinner if I would let him. I am much more likely to get a vegetable in him if it is mixed with something else. What happened to my baby that could eat peas, spinach and carrots for every meal with a big ole happy smile on his face?!


Things he HATES:  having his teeth brushed, eggs, meat, most fruit and vegetables (unless they are mixed with something else). I thought I was making headway (everyone keeps telling me to keep putting a variety of food in front of him every day), until I discovered that he will feed the undesirable foods to the dogs when he thinks I'm not looking (I thought they weren’t supposed to figure this out until they were much older!). This explains why the dogs are suddenly Banner's best friends.


We have completely phased bottles and formula out of Banner's routine. The only time he still gets a bottle is if he wakes up in the middle of the night and I can't find all the pieces to his sippy cup in the dark. Then, and only then, does he get a bottle with water in it. He doesn't seem to miss them at all, and is already becoming very accomplished with the Dixie Cup at school.  Such a big boy!

We are making slower progress with the pacis. We've completely phased them out during the day, and he doesn't seem to care. The only exception to that rule is when he is at home on the weekends, because he will, for example, find the paci he threw out of his crib the night before while playing in his room. Mostly, though, they are gone and he doesn't seem to miss them.


Night time, however, is a slightly different story. We have been successful with getting him to go to sleep without one, but he almost always wakes up in the middle of the night wanting it. On the flip side, if he goes down with a paci, he generally spits it out within ten minutes of falling asleep and sleeps the rest of the night without it.

I think the pacis would be completely gone by now if Banner hadn't been sick so much recently and teething. But when he wakes up at two and four in the morning, Trevor and I are desperate to get him back to sleep quickly. More often than not, that involves sticking a paci in his pie hole. I think if we ever get a healthy streak, though, it won't be a problem to get the pacis phased out completely. Until then, we are at a bit of a stalemate - especially with this cough that keeps waking him up three or four times a night. Luckily, the humidifier and spoonfuls of honey seem to be keeping him from coughing so hard that he throws up (last Friday night was a looooong one that involved multiple loads of laundry).  It is amazing how quickly waking up multiple times a night for days and days and days completely drains you.  The three of us are exhausted.


And, in case you were wondering, I did take him to the doctor on Monday afternoon because the cough has gotten so much worse recently. Honestly, I thought it was going to be another ear infection. One more ear infection, according to the pediatrician, and Banner gets tubes. And, while the process of getting tubes makes me a bit panicky, I was actually a bit relieved because everyone keeps telling me what a difference tubes has made for their child.

BUT then it wasn’t an ear infection at all. Even the pediatrician was surprised. Then he looked in his throat and immediately suspected strep, but that test came back negative, too. Which means we are in the just-wait-it-out phase. Part of me is relieved that Ban isn’t on antibiotics again (because that can’t be good), but the other part of me can’t stand it that my poor baby is so miserable that he can’t sleep at night. So, until Banner either gets substantially better or worse, Trevor and I will be daydreaming about getting more than two hours of sleep in a stretch at night.



Things Banner finds hysterically funny: sneezing, coughing, pooping in the tub (especially if I'm bathing him), shoving himself in boxes and random places, going for shoe box rides, mama blowing in his face, peak-a-boo (or just saying “boo”), dogs (especially his own. When he is trying to fight sleep after we’ve put him in his crib, Banner will attempt to call them into his room for company), pulling mommy's hair, telling him "no", "uh-oh" or anything else in a stern-ish disciplinary voice. Apparently, my kid has picked up on the fact that the rest of the world doesn’t take me seriously, and has decided to follow suit. Meanwhile, Trevor can tell Banner “no” when he is doing something wrong or unsafe and his little face will just melt into a puddle of shame and remorse. While I want Banner to take me seriously (discipline and boundaries are a must for his own safety and wellbeing), the thought of hurting his feelings just about kills me.

I know. I need to get over it.


Things Banner loves: music, clapping, opening doors, story time, books that allow him to touch and feel and dancing. We also got him a big boy chair on Super Bowl Sunday at Babies R Us. My mom was going to buy him one from Pottery Barn for his birthday, but we never got around to picking it out with all the chronic sickness at our house. But then he saw one at the store with Mickey Mouse on it. I put him on the floor and he squealed, toddled over to it, climbed in and sat down. Might be the best $40 we’ve ever spent on him. It makes him ridiculously happy. For days after we bought it, Banner would hug us, toddle to his chair, sit down, stand up, toddle back over to us and give us another hug (repeat 50 times). Had we known how much he wanted his own chair, we totally would have gotten him one much, much sooner.


Speaking of toddling, Banner is walking everywhere now. Every week since his birthday, he has been taking more and more steps in a row. One week his high was eight steps, followed by seventeen the next, and so on and so forth. Now he just toddles constantly, and we’ve stopped keeping track of consecutive steps without falling down. The biggest recent development (at least in the last week or so) is his new found skill of being able to stand back up on his own without pulling up on a couch, table or dog.  I'm afraid nothing can stop him now!

And, not that I’m biased or anything, but I think Banner’s toddle is just about the cutest thing ever. He pulls his little arms up like a T-Rex. Amy thinks he looks like he should be carrying a purse. All I keep thinking is:

“Why aren’t you seizing the boy?”

“I have a big head and little arms!”

(OMG, six years later and I still love it!)


In other news, Banner now sleeps with blankets in his crib (since he can’t wear sleep sacks forever), wears 18-24 month clothing and has a new pair of shoes because one of the dogs ate the other pair. He loves to be outside and to climb on things, and HATES having his teeth brushed. At the doctor on Monday, he weighed in at a whopping 25 pounds. He has also done some growing since his first birthday, because his tippy toes barely touched the floor on his Radio Flyer car last month BUT are now flatly on the floor with knee bending room to spare. Everyone is always shocked when I tell him that he is thirteen months. He is just going to be a big guy, I suppose. Now if it were only possible to unlearn how to open doors! I’m worried he is going to escape now that all the knobs are within reach!


I’ve also been a complete wimp about taking him to daycare recently. Banner has been going through a clingy/shy phase lately, and screams bloody murder and reaches for me like I am abandoning him forever when I drop him off at school. It just rips my heart out, and I’ve shown up at work with tear-stained cheeks on more than one occasion. However, when Trevor takes him in the mornings, Banner is fine and sometimes doesn’t even notice when his daddy leaves. All the teachers comment on how “he never does this when his father drops him off”. Which? So not fair.


Trevor thinks Banner doesn’t care when he drops him off, because Banner is hungry and knows that breakfast is about to be served. He just toddles to the sink in the back to wash his hands when he arrives, and then sits on the pint size love seat and chews on a book while he waits for the food to be delivered.

When I take him, though, breakfast is over (Trev gets him there at 7:15 or 7:30, but – when I take him – we generally don’t arrive until closer to 8:45) and it is usually a good 15-30 minutes before snack is served. So, it may be less about being away from me, and more about the rumbly in his tummy.


Speaking of the sink, Banner LOVES that thing. It is in the diaper changing area between the two toddler classrooms. According to Ebony, Banner waits for someone to not close the partition door all the way, and then makes a break for it.  Last Friday, he went through almost all of his extra shirts because he got all wet playing in the water. The thing is, though, that apparently Banner is one of the few babies over the years that is strong enough to turn on the faucet by himself (the knob is intentionally hard to turn).  Which means that while poor Ebony is busy changing another kid's diaper, my son has called all his other classmates over to have a party in the sink.  And the water-based chaos that ensues generally results in multiple wardrobe changes and a need to mop the floor.

Again, that's my boy.

(Poor Ebony and Natasha!)

Hanging with Grandpa Buddy in the backyard.

On Monday, Banner had his first dental appointment. I didn’t know who to take him to, so I just looked up my old pediatric dentist and called the office. Apparently, he is still practicing and ranked as one of the best dentists for little ones (at least according to D Magazine). He also doesn’t charge until the kid turns three (which is nice perk even though we are well insured), and has plenty of toys to distract my very busy toddler.

Plus, the office staff is the same as it was back when I was a patient in college.  Because sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and are always glad you came.

(Ha!  Sorry, the jingle was just on TV and I couldn't help myself.)

Playing with all the dentist's toys.

In all seriousness, though, dentists (and teeth in general) have always kind of freaked me out.  So it was nice to at least be in a familiar location with people I recognize and trust.  Especially if we are going to be poking around my son's mouth and talking about teeth erupting.  Which?  Volcanos erupt.  Acne erupts.  Teeth should not erupt.

(Thanks for going along with me on that.)


And because this post could go on forever, I'll wrap up before this entry surpasses the 3,000 word mark with the following: 

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and all the kids wore PJs to school.  Too bad Banner's cowboy boots still don't fit, or he would have totally been wearing him with his "bear bottom" pajamas.  They also had a party and card/gift exchange in Banner's classroom, so I purchased eight board books with little vintage pop-out Valentine's attached for Ban to give to each of his little classmates.  Because I'm cheap and not crafty enough in the kitchen (Ha...not crafty enough IN GENERAL) to even pretend to compete on the same level as all those full-time working moms with Pinterest accounts.  Hell, I'm not even in the same league.  In fact, I was clear across town on Wednesday night trying to find eight copies of the same board book at Half Price Books to go along with my $2 sheet book of punch out Valentines.  Because I am nothing but last minute when it comes to planning anything.  It is just how I roll, and motherhood hasn't changed that particular personality trait one bit.

(To be 100% honest, I would have forgotten about the gift/card exchange completely had Trevor not called to remind me about it on my way home.  I know:  Worst.  Mother.  EV-VER.)


By the way, since when do you need a Mensa membership in order to successfully assemble punch out Valentines?  Because, OMG.  I really thought all I would have to do is punch and go.  And don't even get me started when I got to the part about cutting, folding and pasting together my own envelopes.  I think I actually laughed out loud.  Obviously, they were only $2 because of all the effort involved in making them presentable.  Which is why Banner's classmates got a bunch of partially assembled, unfolded Valentines without envelopes taped to the top of their individually wrapped, gently used board books.

But it is all good because we ran out of wrapping paper somewhere around book four or five, so some of the books were only 3/4 wrapped. Because if you can't do something well, do it half a$$ed and just hope that the 12-20 month olds aren't paying attention. In fact, I was all about making that my personal motto for the rest of 2013 when I thought the kids would be opening their Valentine's Day presents at school. Because I'm sort of okay with the teachers knowing I'm a complete slacker. But then I went and picked Banner up yesterday afternoon and realized with horror that all the wrapped presents went home so parents could open them with their child as a family. 

(Groan)

So, there are probably a bunch of parents out there that are wondering why Banner's mom and dad allowed him to dole out shoddily wrapped, gently-used board books with partially assembled Valentines haphazardly taped to the top.

Which?...Oops. I wish I could promise to do better next year, but I'd probably be lying. Some kids have to walk seven miles uphill in the snow to get to school, and Banner will have to overcome having a neurotic and terribly sarcastic mother that doesn't plan ahead, can't cook (much less bake) and gets blisters on her thumbs trying to assemble cheap, pop-out Valentines after dinner on the 13th of February while watching The History Channel. Poor kid. I foresee years of therapy.

And because this post is now officially over the 3,000 word mark, I'm going to stop tying now. Happy weekend, y'all!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Wednesday, February 06, 2013

Between Babies: I didn't realize that I've been hoarding these...

Date: Mon, 31 Dec 2012 13:22:35 -0600
Subject: Re: What's Christmas
From: Nathan
To: Banner


Hi Banner,

I had a great Christmas, too. I had to endure another couple of long car rides for it, though. I tried taking a nap like you did at Thanksgiving, but when I woke up, I was still in the car. I guess I just haven't figured out the nap transporting magic yet. But, anyway, I think the best part of Christmas was all of the presents under the Christmas trees that were wrapped in paper. I got a lot of those and there was TONS of paper to tear and then try to eat. Santa brought me blocks and books that make my dad talk with funny voices when he reads them to me. Oh, and I also got a BIG and TALL chair. I get to sit in it and play with my toys while Mom and Dad eat. I like to because I can keep a closer eye on them that way. Of course, my dad is also trying to feed me this stuff he calls vegetables while I sit in it. I don't think he understands that my chair is for playing.

I have been trying so hard to get these stinking teeth to come out, Banner. I chew on everything I can get my hands on (and sometimes I even chew on my hands) and I even try grunting while I chew, but that hasn't helped either. The other day, I got a few good gnaws on Daddy's nose. I don't know if I want this to go on forever. Does it get any easier?

Hey, Banner, is it possible that I am done with daycare? I haven't been there in over a week, and Mommy and Daddy have been staying home so maybe they are done with going to work, too. It's been nice staying at home. I don't get to play with my friends but I do get to play with my dog. My parents are trying to teach me to pet him, apparently pulling the dogs hair isn't acceptable behavior. Who knew?

I don't know anything about black eyed peas for the new year (Is that anything like the regular peas you told me about?) but I did hear that something big is supposed to happen at midnight tonight. I am curious about what that might be, so I have been sleeping all morning so that I can stay up until midnight to see what happens. I can't wait to find out what it is.

Happy New Year, Banner.

Nathan


Date: Fri, 4 Jan 2013 13:15:03 -0600
Subject: Happy Birthday Banner!!!
From: Nathan
To: Banner


Dude, if I lived in the same city as you, I would so cut you a slice of super-frosted chocolate cake... even though my Mom says I can't have any cake yet. Give your Mom lots of extra big hugs today.

Nathan

(Still the littlest baby in the infant room)


From: Banner
To: Nathan
Subject: RE: Happy Birthday Banner!!!
Date: Wed, 9 Jan 2013 16:08:21 -0600


Hi, Nathan –

Sorry I’ve been out of touch.  My mom got something called “The Flu”, and was quarantined for the better part of last week.  I wasn’t able to give her hugs or anything.  Everyone was worried she’d give me The Flu, but they obviously don’t know her because I can’t even get her to share her crackers most of the time.  Anyway, I didn’t see my mom for days except sometimes briefly when she’d emerge from bed to grab a drink or snack, but she’d never stay or pick me up – no matter how long or loud I cried for her.  I was worried she didn’t love me anymore.  But, finally, The Flu went away and daddy let me see her again.  Now I’ve learned how to hold on extra special tight around her neck, so it is hard for her to put me down.  This is especially useful at 2 AM when I wake up screaming because I’m getting something called my “molars”, and I don’t want to mom to put me back down in my crib.  Mom says I’m too strong for my own good.  Whatever that means.

The teething thing really sucks, man.  Especially, this whole “molar” thing.  I can’t remember a time when my gums didn’t hurt.  The only bright side is that it is making it easier for me to chew some things.  Except, recently, it has hurt so much that I don’t even want to do that, so I’ve been eating cereal and purees again even though mom wants to phase them out.  Purees and cereal aren’t as much fun as big boy food, but it doesn’t hurt so bad to eat them.  Mom was worried I was regressing, but the doctor wasn’t concerned about it once he saw how swollen my gums were.  He said I’ll start wanting big boy food again once the molars break through.  We’ll see, doc.  We’ll see. 

Speaking of that doctor dude, I thought he was a really good guy until he told the nurse to stick me with needles again.  I had FOUR shots in my legs on Monday, and a toe prick.  The thing is that I haven’t felt well since.  Yesterday, I woke up shivering all over, but all mom and dad could talk about was how hot I was.  Obviously, they were insane because I felt like I was freezing.  I hope I get better soon, though, because I miss all my friends at school.  I’ve barely seen them at all in the last several weeks!  I was hoping I’d get to see them tomorrow, but I overheard my mom talking to grandma this morning about coming over to stay with me in the morning.  Something about how I couldn’t go back to school until some guy named “Fever” was gone for 24 hours.  I need to find this Fever guy and kick him out or I’ll be cooped up inside at home forever.  I have things to do!

I did have my first birthday party, though, and it was awesome.  Not only did I get a bunch of presents just like on Christmas, but I also got to eat cake.  It was so good!  I’d send you a piece, but mom ate a lot of the icing when dad wasn’t looking.  So now my cake looks like a pathetic naked brownie.  It still tastes good, but it was so much better with the icing on top. 

I think my favorite part of the birthday party was all the people.  There were people everywhere and they all came to see and play with me.  I’ve never had such a good time!  And there were balloons, too!  I’m not sure what balloons are exactly, but gravity doesn’t work on them at all.  If you throw them, they go UP not down.  My mind is officially blown.

Peace out,
Banner


Date: Wed, 16 Jan 2013 15:29:30 -0600
Subject: Re: Happy Birthday Banner!!!
From: Nathan
To: Banner

Hi Banner,

That flu thing sounds AWFUL. I sure hope my mom and dad don't get it. I can't imagine not being allowed to see one of them for days. I have a hard enough time being home with my dad when my mom is working late, which is something she started doing again. I was so upset about it, that I cried the whole time she was gone. When we picked her up and took her home, she played with me and then put me to bed. But, I woke up thinking about it and started crying again. Ever since then, I have to keep waking up to make sure that my mom is still there and that she will feed me. Dad tries to give me bottles, but I do not like that. He just doesn't get them right.

I don't understand why the doctor lets those mean nurses give us so many shots. I had that "Fever" guy after my last shots, too, I was miserable. I hope that you are feeling better by now. My mom, dad and I have been doing something called "trading" colds for the last week. It's been fun, and my dad sounds like that Barry White fellow again. Well, except I won't be fun when it's my turn to get the cold again, I don't like being sick. I also don't like these Kleenex things mom is always wiping my face with. Geez, Mom, leave me alone.

Oh, I have two big things I have been wanting to tell you about. First, I am finally not the littlest one in my room at daycare now. There's a little girl named Zoey who started this week, she's five months old, and can't sit yet, so I'm finally ahead of someone. Oh, but my friend Case moved up to the next room. So, it's just me and Tanner now in the boys club.

The other thing is that when this "new year" happened, my parents were talking about something called resolutions. It sounded like a good idea to me, so I made a resolution to get teeth. And, wouldn't you know it, in less than a week I had two! I assume that really isn't enough to be finished with teething. I am sorry to hear about these molars, too. That does not sound like fun. A funny thing happened when I got my teeth, though. I used to always be able to gnaw on my dad's fingers, but now whenever I bite them he says "ouch." I wonder if "ouch" is another word for bite or something. Anyway, it sounds funny, so I try to bite him all the time just to get him to say "ouch."

I am glad that you had a super fantastic birthday party. I have never seen a balloon but I'm really curious now. I've never seen anything fall up before. Maybe if I get a birthday party some day there will be balloons. Don't worry about not sending me a piece of cake, my mom probably wouldn't let me eat it, anyway. I've had lots of vegetables, and most of them were okay, but green beans are BAD. Yuck. I think mom said something called meat is on the menu next. Is that any good?

I'll talk to you later, Banner.

Nathan


From: Banner
To: Nathan
Subject: RE: Happy Birthday Banner!!!
Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2013 23:04:10 +0000


Hi, Nathan –

My mom used to be a vegetarian.  I don’t know what that is exactly, but dad made it sound like all she did all day was eat gross things like vegetables.  I hope my mom doesn’t come down with vegetarian again, because I’d have to move out.  Meat is like the best stuff in the world – but only in pureed form.  Mom tried to get me to eat something he called “chicken” the other day, and that stuff was nasty.  Nothing should have to be chewed for that long!  But the meat in the jar is fantastic.  Oh, and something else called “tofu” that mom got me at the sushi restaurant last week.  Not sure if that is meat or not, but yum, yum!

I am glad that you are no longer the littlest in your class!  Congratulations!  I’m the only kid in the toddler room right now that can’t walk, but I’ve been practicing.  Last weekend I made it up to eight steps in a row, and more than doubled my personal best this weekend with SEVENTEEN!  I think I’d would have had even higher numbers if I hadn’t gotten caught that guy “Fever” again.  I even ended up in something called a “hospital” a couple of weeks ago because of him.  Which:  If you ever want to completely freak your parents out, you gotta go to the hospital, my friend.  It was awesome.  Mom and dad held me ALL the time.  I was the center of attention.  They didn’t go to work or leave me at all – not even when I slept.  Plus, they had all sorts of cool toys and machines at the hospital that went “beep!”, and lots of nice people stopping by to say “Hello” all the time.  It was fabulous.  

(Well, except for the needles.  But I was really sleepy when they stung my arm, so I barely remember it.)

Anyway, I thought I was done with that “Fever” guy after the hospital, but, wouldn’t you know, he showed back up AGAIN with his buddy “Double Ear Infection” on Friday.  The worst is that the medicine they gave me at the doctor’s office makes my tummy angry. I keep trying to remind myself to spit it out next time, but it tastes like cherries.  I like cherries.

In other news, mom and dad keep trying to pull a fast one on me and put milk in my sippy cups.  I mostly don’t mind it during the day, but I don’t want anything but my regular formula first thing in the morning.  And I want it in my bottle, too.  I don’t know why mom and dad hardly ever give me a bottle anymore.  Those sippy cup things are great, but I think my parents are trying to do away with my bottles altogether!  I’ve also overheard them talking about GETTING RID of my binkies!  I think me and the ‘rents are going to have to have a conversation about all this nonsense.  They’ve gone mental.  If they want to sleep at night, they best keep my binkies coming!

Honestly, what are they thinking?

But back to food…you gotta’ watch out for something called “sticky rice”.  IT STICKS TO YOUR HANDS!  I hate it.  I got some on my fingers and couldn’t get it off.  Not even after I shook them over and over.  It was awful, and my mom and grandma just sat there watching me freak out AND LAUGHED. 

It also sometimes happens if you let the dog lick your hand before picking up puffs or cheerios.  It totally makes me panic.  Mom says it serves me right for letting the dog lick my hand before eating.  I’m not sure when she became so unsupportive.  I need to talk to dad about her behavior, and file a formal complaint.  Sticky stuff is no joking matter.  She needs to take it seriously.

Peace out,
Banner


Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2013 09:12:05 -0600
Subject: Re: Happy Birthday Banner!!!
From: Nathan
To: Banner


Hi Banner,

Oh my goodness, I didn't know you went to a hospital. I am glad that you enjoyed your celebrity status. I asked my Mom about going to the hospital and she said you only go there if you are really sick, so I hope that you didn't feel too bad. It was nice of your Mom and Dad to hold you the whole time. I think I would want to be held all of the time if I felt bad enough for a hospital. Well, I really like to be held all of the time even when I'm not sick. Sometimes when I am the last one to go home at daycare they hold me until my mom and dad come. Even though it means waiting longer to see my mom and dad, it is good.

I have to say that I'm not too impressed with the meat from a jar. It is pretty good when my mom mixes it with something yummy like sweet potatoes, but when Dad gives it to me by itself, he says I make the same "yucky face" that my mom sometimes makes when she takes a bite of something she'd rather not be eating. Dad said it's okay, though, because the really good meat is something called "bacon." I guess that they don't make bacon in a jar, or surely my dad would have bought it for me by now, so I guess I just have to wait until I'm old enough to eat big boy food.

Whoa, Banner! Do you mean that you are supposed to drink something out of a sippy cup? My mom and dad have been giving me one, but I thought it was just to chew on. My mom always tells me it is something called "water" but I thought that was the name of the cup. I am going to have to figure out how to get this water stuff out of that cup. Is water any good? Oh, and I think the best way that you can keep getting your formula in your bottles is to throw the sippy cup on the floor whenever they give it to you. I have found that dropping my toys on the floor makes them disappear for quite a while. Even when I can see them, my mom will not give them back to me until after they are washed. Sometimes it takes days for my toys to be washed. Thanks for warning me about sticky food, though. My dog really only licks my face right now, but maybe that is why all of my food stays on my chin after dad feeds me. What do you think?

I am sorry that the girls in the toddler room are giving you so much trouble. My parents have talks about how they are going through their parent initiation with me. I am not sure what that means, but I think it has something to do with the fact that they are new at being parents and so they have to catch up. Maybe the girls are just helping you with your initiation in the toddler room. On the other hand, it may not be such a bad idea to work on building up those muscles. I have been trying to build up my muscles by doing something that Mommy calls "push ups." Push ups are hard work, too. I usually do a few of those when mom puts me in my bed and they make me so tired that I fall asleep. If the push ups aren't enough, then maybe you could talk to your dad about joining him at the gym.

I am very impressed by how many steps you can take. Tanner is standing up and taking steps while holding on to the cribs at daycare, but he's no where near that good. Most of my friends at daycare mostly get around by "crawling." Well, Zoey isn't, but she is sitting pretty well now and that was the one thing I had on her. I feel like I am so behind. I decided that I have to find a way to get around a room. Last week, I figured out that after I roll over, I don't have to stop; I can keep going! Who knew? I even made it most of the way across the living room last weekend. But this crawling thing is beyond me. I have been watching my friends at school, and it seems that they throw themselves forward with their hands on the ground and they just keep going. I've been trying it, but I just can't seem to reach far enough to get very far. I used to be happy sitting in one place, but there's too many things that are just beyond my reach. At least I know how to roll over better. But, if you can give me any tips on how to make this crawling thing happen, I would really appreciate it.

Take care, Banner. Oh, and I hope you are done taking that cherry medicine that was making your tummy angry.

Nathan


From: Banner
To: Nathan
Subject: Waz up?!
Date: Wed, 6 Feb 2013 15:08:23 -0600


Yo, Nathan –

I’ve never heard of this bacon stuff, but I mentioned it to one of my dogs the other day and he started to drool. It must be some good stuff! I’ll have to talk to my dad about getting some. I’d ask mom, but I have a funny feeling she’d give me a piece of celery and just tell me it was bacon. She’s tricky that way.

I’ve been working on trying not to be sick lately. It isn’t really working but I’m doing my best because I overheard mom and dad talking about something called “tubes”. Apparently, if I get one more ear infection the doctor is going to put these tube thingys in my ears! I’m really starting to dislike this doctor guy. Mom sounded really worried, so I’m pretty sure that tubes are something awful like toothbrushes. Which, WHY do my parents insist on brushing my teeth every night before bed? Do they have nothing better to do than torture me? At least when they used the finger toothbrush, I could bite them (it was kind of fun actually), but now they have a brush on a stem. I see it coming and get mad, but they just shove it in my mouth regardless of how I feel about it.

Parents can be such jerks sometimes.

My mom also used to wash everything when it fell on the floor, but she gave up right around the time I discovered the wonders of gravity. Now she just hands everything back to me as long as we aren’t some place called “public”. Mom has also given up trying to keep the dogs from licking me. This has made meal time much more productive since I’m not constantly having to go and wash my hands every two seconds because I shared my biscuit again with Haskell. Dad says all this is building my immunity. He has really gotten mom to calm down a lot lately, which is really nice. On Saturday, she caught me eating dirt out of a pot in the backyard, and she just sighed and told dad to “deal with it”.

On a side note: dirt tastes awesome. I highly recommend it. Much, much better than that pureed kale that my mom tried to shove down my throat last week.

Cheers,
B-Man

P.S. It took me four or five months to figure out the whole crawling thing. I did the army crawl thing forever and mom thought I’d never crawl like a real baby. But then one day, back in November, I did. It just happened. So, don’t worry. You will figure it out. Until then, roll with the best of them, my pal!

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

For no reason...

...other than I LOVE this video of Banner:


It was taken the weekend Trevor had strep back in mid-January, and never fails to make me smile.

Monday, February 04, 2013

If there is a silver lining, it's the nearly 15 pounds I've lost since Christmas. Most successful diet I've ever been on. Too bad I feel lousy...

Sigh...

Once again I am writing to you from underneath blankets and covers.

(This is really getting ridiculous.)

The stomach-whatever that has now been plaguing me for nearly two weeks, has wiped me off my feet once more.  Even with doctor's orders to avoid raw fruits and vegetables, and all things dairy.

I'm just not sure life is worth living without cheese, but I've been subsisting.

On Saturday, I woke up with abdominal distress and barely ate a thing all day.  I kept getting these waves of pain in my belly - almost like labor contractions, but higher up.  By dinner time, I was running yet another low grade fever (100.4), but the pain seemed to be subsiding.  Sure enough, it was completely gone by Sunday morning.  In fact, my only symptoms yesterday (other than general weakness and exhaustion) were random bouts of dizziness and lightheadedness.  I even made it to the Super Bowl party that Trevor and I were co-hosting with a group of friends.

Then I woke up today, and bad, bad, bad.  And, of course, the internist that has been overseeing my care since my primary doctor referred me to her two weeks ago is out of the office.

Jury Duty.

When I heard that the internist was out, I briefly considered calling my primary doctor, but I've decided she's hysterical since she keeps threatening to stick me in the hospital for further testing.  In fact, she made this particular threat again on Friday.  It isn't that I have a problem with hospitals.  It is just that the internist she referred me to did a whole new batch of blood tests LAST week, and they all came back negative (except for signs of a phantom infection somewhere within my being).  I'm not diabetic, my organs look stellar and I'm negative for everything from Mono to Lyme's Disease.

Maybe I'm crazy (or just in denial), but I'm not 100% convinced that I'm not just suffering from random virus after random virus.  I've never pretended to have good luck, and being sick for weeks and weeks only seems to reinforce my belief that - for whatever reason - my immune system can't get ahead of itself.

And that 2013, so far, really, really sucks health-wise.

Luckily, my internist shares an office with a family practitioner.  I've seen him from time to time over the years for things like migraines and sinus infections.  He looked at my file (which now contains everything my primary doctor and the internist have done, tested and treated since before Christmas), and has his own hypothesis.

He thinks that the two courses of antibiotics that were administered to treat my horrible flu-induced bronchitis back in the first half of January left me open and vulnerable for either some sort of intestinal infection or Giardia.  Luckily, the same antibiotic treats both, so hopefully I'll be miraculously cured (for real this time) in about 10 days.

Only problem is that this particular antibiotic apparently makes you VIOLENTLY ill if you have even a hint of alcohol while taking it (think: Antabuse).  Which kind of sucks since we've had a babysitter lined up for Valentine's Day for weeks now, so we can go our favorite tapas restaurant and drink copious amounts of their delicious red wine sangria.

Bright side:  At least Trevor will have a driver, and we won't have to pay for a sitter AND a cab.

(And, yes, I realize that Valentine's Day is 10 days from now, but the pharmacist made a point of letting me know the drugs will stay in my system for 3 days after I take the last pill.  Hopes = dashed.  I guess I'll just have to come up with some other excuse for Trevor to take me there later on.)

In other news, I've decided that if I do have Giardia, it is because the dogs conspired to give it to me to get out of their bimonthly bath.  After all, it isn't like we are strangers to random attacks of the intestinal parasite at our house.  We have three dogs.  It comes with the territory.  Although, this is one territory that I wish would have stayed in the dog run with the resident canines.

Also, for all those people out there that have commented recently that "maybe I'm pregnant", I'm not.  And even though I knew that already, I still took a test just to make sure.  Because I'm neurotic.  And because when you are seemingly chronically ill with a mystery infection, you start grasping at straws.  But this particular straw, thank goodness, had only one pink line, not two.  So we are in the clear in that regard, at least.  Moving on...