Sticker of shame is no more...

Schafer has been rolling around since early September, but wasn't showing her teachers at school. So, the sticker of shame remained on her crib.

Trevor and I comforted ourselves with videos that proved she really could roll over.

But, finally, she showed everyone her skills by rolling in a complete circle this afternoon.  And then, just to highlight the fact that she could do it all along, she proceeded to do it four more times in ten minutes.

Ms. Vivian:  "Yeah, Schaf.  We get it.  You can roll."

That's my girl.

For all those that think Schafer only looks like her daddy...

My mom on the left, me in the middle and Schaf on the right.

You see it, right?  RIGHT?

Someone lie to me.  ;P

The Quiet Game...

Banner talks.  A lot.

Mostly, I enjoy my little Chatty Cathy.  But it wears on Trevor on occasion.

Like the day we took the kids to Central Market to grab dinner and a few groceries.  Banner talked THE ENTIRE way there in the car.  Then proceeded to talk my ear off while I pushed the cart around the store.  Trevor, who had Schafer in a different cart, met up with me at the checkout and asked if Banner stopped talking at any point during the outing.

"Haha!  You are kidding, right?"

So, Trevor decided, before getting back in the car for the ride home, to teach Banner to play The Quiet Game.  Because, sometimes, silence really is golden.

Banner said he understood the rules, and immediately started talking smack.  Our overly confident three year old told us in no uncertain terms how he was going to be "the quietest ever" and "beat us all" because he is a big boy and "the best a being quiet".

Yeah. He lost before we exited the parking lot.

We heard about it the whole way home.

On School Pictures...

Last year, we dressed Banner in a button down shirt and dress pants for school picture day.  He looked sharp, and yet I had instant regret because getting him dressed that morning was such a struggle.  The kid wanted to wear what the kid wanted to wear.  Which, not surprisingly for 2.5 year old Banner, involved a superhero shirt and his rain boots.  It is a fine line between wanting your kid to look good on picture day, and wanting him to look like himself.

My lil weirdo this time last year.

This year, learning nothing from last year's regret, we dressed Banner in another button down shirt and khaki pants.  We even parted his hair.  The kid looked amazing.  I almost didn't recognize him.  See, 3.5 year old Banner is into matching.  He dresses himself in the morning, because apparently mama doesn't understand that you can never have too much of one color.  Which explains why my kid looks like this most mornings:

Mr. Color Coordinated, right?

Anyway, I wanted him to look nice in his school pictures mainly to prove to the other parents and teachers that my kid CAN clean up on occasion.  I mean, who are these other people that can get their kid to dress in collared shirts and chinos on a daily basis? I'm just lucky we have pants on when we leave the house most mornings.

So, I was a little confused when the pictures came back and my kid looked like...well, a giant tomato:

My favorite is the red wrist band with the red shoes on the red scooter.
Because OF COURSE.

Apparently, something happened on the day he was supposed to take his picture and it was postponed.  It was probably a day that Trevor picked up, because - clearly - I had no knowledge or I probably would have attempted to intervene two mornings in a row.

At least this year's photo is a more accurate depiction of what he looks like on a day to day basis, and for that I am grateful.  Plus, he looks happy and relaxed which is much more than I can say about last year's picture where he looks uncharacteristically spiffy and slightly deranged:

On the beginning of the school year...

The beginning of the school year just happened to coincide with the end of my maternity leave.  So, the week of August 24th, not only involved me returning to work, but Banner also went back to preschool and Schafer started day care.

(Side note:  Anyone who thought leaving your second child at day care for the first time was easier than leaving your first, is either smoking something or is a heck of a lot stronger than I am.  I started crying before I even got her out of her carrier.  Not just weepy tears, either.  I full out ugly cried in front of everyone.  On the plus side, though, her teachers sent me almost hourly proof-of-life pictures assuring me Schafer was doing fine.)

By that weekend, Schafer had her first cold and Banner was mute.  At first we thought he just had laryngitis, and found it almost amusing to watch him attempt to communicate with us in mime while eating brunch (seriously, he dropped his toy.  He looked at me, looked at the floor where his toy landed, looked back at me and frowned).  But then, after a trip to the grocery store, I started to worry when he seemed to have a hard time breathing.  An hour and a quick trip to urgent care later, and we had our diagnosis:  Strep Throat. 

It starts.

Our second week of the school year started with me at home in bed with two sick kiddos.

Can I go back to Colorado now?

Banner quotes, Durango Edition...

Yes, we did go to Durango this summer.  With Banner, it took us months to work up the courage to travel with a baby.  With Schafer, however, we are all over the place.  It helped greatly that we had to travel to Arkansas for William and Claire's wedding when Schaf was a mere seven weeks old.  It is amazing what you can accomplish when you tell yourself that missing an important family event isn't an option.

Of course, I nearly had a meltdown when the EPA released 3 million gallons of toxic water down the Animas less than a week before we were scheduled to arrive.  Never figured our attempt at a relaxing family vacation would involve me showering only ONCE in ten days (or "bathing" Banner in the hot tub for that matter), but somehow it worked.

My mom joined us on our trip.  Originally, it was only supposed to be the five of us, but Scott came down from Denver for a few days as well as my aunt and cousin from San Diego.  So much fun even if it was overshadowed by a river (and the creek directly behind my mother's cabin) running orange with a toxic heavy metal sludge.

Because of my nursing/pumping schedule, there wasn't a whole lot of hiking this summer.  That said, we did make it to Spud Lake and the waterfall on the Cascade Creek Trail (I even pumped and fed Schafer just below the bridge about 2.5 miles in!).  Of course, I'm pretty sure the weight of my breast pump is the reason my cousin, Lindsey, temporarily dislocated her knee on the hike back to the car.  Luckily, she was okay, and she made it back to the van on her own two feet without being carried.  Thank goodness I insisted we drive the van 3/4ths of the way up the four wheel drive road.  True, we almost got stuck, but almost doesn't count when having it means your cousin-who-just-carried-your-breast-pump-for-miles-and-hurt-her-knee-in-the-process doesn't have to walk any further than necessary.

Thanks for going along with me on that, Trevor!

(He was the one driving.)

For the record, it is so weird to be tied to a machine, but nursing, for Schafer, has a soporific effect.  She never seems to get enough unless I give it to her in a bottle.  Plus, like last time, I'm a producer.  Nothing like a case of mastitis (like I had following William and Claire's wedding) to make me appreciate the need to fully empty my boobs every three hours.

My new favorite thing is Banner's quote log on my iPhone.  Three year olds are hysterical.  Here are some of my favs from our summer vacation:

Banner: "Jeep, you have a long head."
GP: "Never been accused of that before."

Totally should have bought this shirt...

Banner: "Jeep? You picking your nose?"
GP: "No! You shouldn't pick your nose. You can pick your friends but you shouldn't pick your nose."
Banner: "And you should never pick your friends nose because it might make their nose bleed."

Banner [on doing a puzzle]: "But Jeep! I'm doing the little sh*ts!" ("Sh*ts" is Banner for "chicks").

Banner: "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! I found the tree!"
Trev: "Did it go missing?"

Trevor: "Who is the biggest person here?"
Banner: "Me."
Trevor: "Okay, let's think about this. Who has the bigger hand?"
Banner: "My hand is the little one."
Trevor: "So if your hand is the little one and my hand is the big one, who is the biggest one here?"
Banner: "Me."

GP: "You are so photogenic."
Me: "Woman! I'm your clone!"
Banner: "Mama? You the woman?"
Me: "No, the other woman is The Woman."
Banner: "Daddy?"

Banner: "Sh*t monkeys where are you?" ("Sh*t Monkeys" is Banner for "chipmunk". It later became the "sh*tmunks".  Honestly, not sure which is my favorite.)

GP: "There is no reason to be afraid of chipmunks, Banner. To them, you are a monster."
Banner: "No, I'm not! I'm a good guy!"

Trevor [yelling to banner who had ran up the trail]: "Let us know if you see any bears!"
Banner: "Okaaaaay!"

Banner: "I'm going to help you!"
GP: "No, that's okay. I don't need any help."
Banner: "Oh, yes you do."


What happens when the bounce house is taken over by girls.
Banner is the one sitting in the corner "observing".

Banner: "You ready for me to turn the page yet?"
GP: "No, not really."
Banner: "Turning the page now..."

GP: "If you keep your eyes peeled, Banner, you might see a bear."
Banner: "There no bears here!"
GP: "Oh, yes there are!"
Banner: "Jeep, there no bears here because they have no cars!"
Me: "Yeah, Jeep. Duh."

Banner (crying): "Jeep! Jeep! Jeep! Daddy gave me a kiss but he was dirty!"

Me: "Which super hero are you? Captain America?"
Banner: "No, mama! I Bruce Banner!"
Me: "Oh, right! Goodnight, Bruce."
Banner: "Mama, I no Bruce Banner yet because I'm still little. I'll be Bruce Banner when I'm big."
Me: "When will that be?"
Banner: "Next week."

Banner: "Last year I falled down the stairs and broke my goldfish cup."
Me: "Banner, that wasn't last year. That was Tuesday."

My heart and soul.

Banner: "Where's my baby sister?"
Trevor: "We decided to leave her at the restaurant."
Banner: "Nooooooooooooooo!"
Me: "Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding! She's in daddy's arms!"
Banner: "Don't leave my baby sister! I love her!"
Me: "I know! We'd never leave either of you!"
Trevor: "What happened?"
Me: "Don't joke about leaving his sister."
Trevor: "Oh."
Me: "Although, I'm glad to know he cares."

Trevor: "Banner! Tell mommy what we saw while she was in the store."
Banner: "Mama! We saw...we saw...something."
Me: "Wow."

Later...
Trevor: "Tell Jeep what you saw while she was in the store."
Banner: "Deer!"
GP: "Where?"
Banner: "By the road!"
Trevor: "How many?"
Banner: "Three!"
Trevor: "How many babies?"
Banner: "Two!"
Trevor: "How many mamas?"
Banner: "One!"
Trevor: "How many daddies?"
Banner: "Uh.  No many."

Trevor: "It's poker."
GP: "And he might just poke you."
Me: "Whoa, mom."

In middle of intense thunderstorm...
Trevor (jokingly): "Banner, want to run around outside with a golf club?"

About five minutes later after a particularly loud clap of thunder...
Trevor: "Where you going, buddy?"
Banner: "Going to get a golf club."
Everyone: "No!"

Headed to Trimble Hot Springs for our only bath/shower in ten days.
#thanksEPA

Girls at ice cream shop: "Hi!"
Banner: "Hi! I got a Jeep!"

Tish: "Wonder who the fastest gun in the west was?"
Banner: "Me!"
Tish: "Was it Billy the Kid?"
Banner: "No! It was me! I'm the fastest guy in the west!"

Banner: "But I don't want my skin to be breaked open!"

Lady at Beeville: "Is that a superman shirt you are wearing?"
Banner (proudly): "I have a superman shirt on and superman underwears, too!"
Lady at Beeville: "Oh!"

On Yum and CEO's wedding...

Because sometimes the best way to remember an event is through the words of a three year old:

Banner: "I going to be in the wedding?"
Me: "Yes, buddy. You are going to be the ring bearer."
Banner: "The ring bear?"
Me: "Ring bearer."
Banner: "I ring the bell and become the man?"

Banner: "Yum and CEO are going to get married?"
Me: "Yes. Just like mommy and daddy."
Banner: "I get married too?"
Me: "Maybe one day when you are an adult."
Banner: "Mama, I'm already an adult. It's what happens when you no a baby anymore."

Banner: "Charlie go to the wedding?"
Me: "No, not Charlie."
Banner: "But Charlie my very best friend. We always go to weddings together!"
Me: "I think Charlie might miss his mommy."
Banner: "No he won't because he will be with me!"

Banner: "What's a tuxedo?"
Me: "It's a very nice suit you wear to weddings."
Banner: "You mean like a hat, a sweatshirt and a red dress?"

On noticing my manicure I got for the wedding...
Banner: "Mama! Your nails! Finally! They so pretty! You look like a girl! Don't you feel better now?"

Text to Claire:  "Banner is really excited about meeting your nephew. Keeps referring to him as his new best friend. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that he thinks his name is 'burp'. #notsurehowtofixthis"

Silver linings at the DMV...

While renewing my drivers license earlier this afternoon:

DMV employee: "How much do you weigh?"

Me: "Oh, man! You need to know that, too? I just gave birth 27 days ago."

DMV employee: "Well, how much would you like to weigh?"

Me: "OMG, really?!"

(Note: we settled on my prepregnancy weight. Not 115 pounds, like Trevor suggested.)