Banner Quotes: Summer/fall edition...

Banner: "Mama, what's this?"
Me: "A raisin, buddy."
Banner: "No, it's a jellybean!"
Me: "Sure it is."
(Note:  it was a raisin.)

Banner (On first Friday's): "That was really fun. I had a good time tonight."

Trevor: "How do you know that's Haskell?"
Banner: "Because he's fat."

Mr. Garcia: "Who know what month starts on Wednesday?"
Banner: "Saturday!"

Banner: "But why do I have to have quiet time?"
Me: "Because we were out late last night and mommy needs to do some things before we can go to the splash park."
Banner: "Like what?"
Me: "Like mama needs to bathe the dogs and feed your baby sister."
Banner: "And daddy needs to watch tv?"
Me: "Yes. Exactly."
Banner: "Oh. Okay."
Trevor: "Well that's unfair."
Me: "Hey, truth flows from the mouths of babes, Trev."

On how I dress:

Banner: "Mama, I don't like your shirt."
Me: "Thanks, buddy."

Banner: "Mama! You are wearing a dress!"
Me: "Why are you so excited?"

Banner: "Mama, you no like jeans anymore?"
Me: "I just wanted to wear these pants today, buddy. They are very comfy."
Banner: "Oh."
Me: "Do you like these pants?"
Banner: "No. I actually like your jeans better and I no like jeans!"

Banner: "Whatcha going to wear to dinner?"
Me: "What do you think would look nice?"
Banner: "Honestly, a blue dress."

Banner [horrified]: "Mama! You left the house with your jammies on?!"
Me: "These actually aren't my jammies, but thanks buddy."

Scene: I was pumping. Mimi arrived and opened front door. Alley ran out front door. Haskell chased Alley. Banner chased Haskell.  Mimi chased Banner, and Rue Anna chased Mimi. Then all returned in reverse order.  It was awesome.

Banner: "Mommy, I love you."
Me: "Aw, thanks, buddy. I love you too."
Banner: "Daddy. I tell mommy I love her. Can I watch tv now?"

On Chewbaca:

Banner: "Chewbaca no turn into a mermaid anymore."

Banner: "Who's that?"
Trev: "Chewbaca."
Banner: "Mr. Chewbaca lives in a cave?"
Trev: "I think he lives in a tree."
Banner: "No! Mr. Chewbaca isn't a monkey."
Trev: "Well, he isn't a bear either."

Watching Harry Potter.

Text to Trevor: "FYI: banner sat on my lap this morning, grabbed my hand, pulled my finger and tooted on my leg." Boys...

Banner: "Mama? You sad?"
Me: "No, baby. I just hurt."
Banner: "Here I sing you a song to make you feel better: row, row, row your boat...
Feel better now?"
Me: "Yes, baby. You fixed everything."
Banner: "Ok. If you hurt more later, I'll sing you the abc song."

Banner: "I thirsty."
Me: "Go to bed."
Banner: "But I'm thirsty."
Trev: "Buddy, the last time we gave you water after bedtime, you wet the bed."
Banner: *after long pause* "Oh. Okay. Goodnight daddy."
Trev [to me]: "He couldn't refute that argument."

Banner: "Mama! I want Santa clause to go trick or treating at my tree house and bring me a present."
Me: "Buddy, it is summertime. Santa only comes when it is cold outside."
Banner: "Last week?"
Me: "No, in December."
Banner: "Maybe the mermaids make it 'cember because Santa say 'ho ho ho'?"
Me: "I don't know, bud."
Banner: "Why?"
Me: "I'm going to start with 'it is July'."
Banner: "Oh, okay."

Banner: "That's CEO but Burp calls her 'coo-coo'."
Trevor: "Coco."
Banner: "Whaaaat?"
Trevor: "Coco, not coo-coo."
Banner: "Oh."

Me: *coughing fit while driving*
Banner: "Mama, stop singing!"

Banner: "But it is never my birthday! My birthday has slowed down!"

Banner (to lady in locker room at swim class): "Come look at my baby sister because she so cute!"

Banner: "I like this song!"
Me: "Me, too, buddy. I like Tom Petty."
Banner: "I like Thomas the Train and Charlie Bacala!"

Banner: "Mama, when I go to sleep, can I dream about coffee?"

Banner: "Mama, there are three girls and two boys."
Me: "Good job, buddy!"
Trevor: "How about Haskell?"
Banner: "Three boys and three girls!"
Me: "Don't forget Alley and Gypsy!"
Banner: "Three boys and a whole lot of girls!"

During the opening theme song for Sunday night football of the 2015 season...
Me: "Banner, who do you like this season? The Cowboys or the Eagles?"
Banner: "The Eagles!"
Trevor: "Hey!"
Me: "That's my boy!"
Schafer: FIRST LAUGH EVER
(At least she is amused by us!)

Banner: "Sharing is caring, mama."

Banner: "Mama, I need to bring something for fall day. Like a leaf. Or a coconut."

Banner: "Mama. Everyone's car is working. Except yours."

Me: "I think you and your sister are the best."
Banner: "We are awesome."
Me: "Totally awesome."
Banner: "Probably awesome huge, too."
Me: "Probably."

What he wears to grocery shop.

Upon walking into class and seeing all the girls dressed for dance class...
Banner: "Mama, I can't turn into a girl, right?"

Banner:  "Mama, I no going to be a gangster when I grow up because I no have the right clothes."

Banner: "Daddy, you are so shady."

Banner: "Mama, I can't find my cape!"
Me: "Have you looked for it?"
Banner: "No."
Me: "Well, we've identified problem number one."

Banner (randomly): "Mama, I will always love you."

Banner: "Daddy? You like milk?"
Trevor: "Yes, I like milk."
Banner: "Mommy no like milk. Mommy like wine."
Me: "Wait a minute."

Me: "I love you, buddy."
Banner: "I don't like yellow pickles."
Me:  "Good to know."

Overheard while the Nick Jonas song "I still get jealous" was playing on the radio:
Banner (singing his own version of the lyrics): "I'm still in trouble..."

On Halloween...

The trick-or-treat crew 2015

Banner:  "Can I please have some candy?"
Me: "Uh, Ban.  Those are pumpkins, not people."
Banner:  "Okay, but can they please give me some candy?"

Me:  "No more candy."
Banner: "But it's not all gone yet."

Sticker of shame is no more...

Schafer has been rolling around since early September, but wasn't showing her teachers at school. So, the sticker of shame remained on her crib.

Trevor and I comforted ourselves with videos that proved she really could roll over.

But, finally, she showed everyone her skills by rolling in a complete circle this afternoon.  And then, just to highlight the fact that she could do it all along, she proceeded to do it four more times in ten minutes.

Ms. Vivian:  "Yeah, Schaf.  We get it.  You can roll."

That's my girl.

For all those that think Schafer only looks like her daddy...

My mom on the left, me in the middle and Schaf on the right.

You see it, right?  RIGHT?

Someone lie to me.  ;P

The Quiet Game...

Banner talks.  A lot.

Mostly, I enjoy my little Chatty Cathy.  But it wears on Trevor on occasion.

Like the day we took the kids to Central Market to grab dinner and a few groceries.  Banner talked THE ENTIRE way there in the car.  Then proceeded to talk my ear off while I pushed the cart around the store.  Trevor, who had Schafer in a different cart, met up with me at the checkout and asked if Banner stopped talking at any point during the outing.

"Haha!  You are kidding, right?"

So, Trevor decided, before getting back in the car for the ride home, to teach Banner to play The Quiet Game.  Because, sometimes, silence really is golden.

Banner said he understood the rules, and immediately started talking smack.  Our overly confident three year old told us in no uncertain terms how he was going to be "the quietest ever" and "beat us all" because he is a big boy and "the best a being quiet".

Yeah. He lost before we exited the parking lot.

We heard about it the whole way home.

On School Pictures...

Last year, we dressed Banner in a button down shirt and dress pants for school picture day.  He looked sharp, and yet I had instant regret because getting him dressed that morning was such a struggle.  The kid wanted to wear what the kid wanted to wear.  Which, not surprisingly for 2.5 year old Banner, involved a superhero shirt and his rain boots.  It is a fine line between wanting your kid to look good on picture day, and wanting him to look like himself.

My lil weirdo this time last year.

This year, learning nothing from last year's regret, we dressed Banner in another button down shirt and khaki pants.  We even parted his hair.  The kid looked amazing.  I almost didn't recognize him.  See, 3.5 year old Banner is into matching.  He dresses himself in the morning, because apparently mama doesn't understand that you can never have too much of one color.  Which explains why my kid looks like this most mornings:

Mr. Color Coordinated, right?

Anyway, I wanted him to look nice in his school pictures mainly to prove to the other parents and teachers that my kid CAN clean up on occasion.  I mean, who are these other people that can get their kid to dress in collared shirts and chinos on a daily basis? I'm just lucky we have pants on when we leave the house most mornings.

So, I was a little confused when the pictures came back and my kid looked like...well, a giant tomato:

My favorite is the red wrist band with the red shoes on the red scooter.
Because OF COURSE.

Apparently, something happened on the day he was supposed to take his picture and it was postponed.  It was probably a day that Trevor picked up, because - clearly - I had no knowledge or I probably would have attempted to intervene two mornings in a row.

At least this year's photo is a more accurate depiction of what he looks like on a day to day basis, and for that I am grateful.  Plus, he looks happy and relaxed which is much more than I can say about last year's picture where he looks uncharacteristically spiffy and slightly deranged:

On the beginning of the school year...

The beginning of the school year just happened to coincide with the end of my maternity leave.  So, the week of August 24th, not only involved me returning to work, but Banner also went back to preschool and Schafer started day care.

(Side note:  Anyone who thought leaving your second child at day care for the first time was easier than leaving your first, is either smoking something or is a heck of a lot stronger than I am.  I started crying before I even got her out of her carrier.  Not just weepy tears, either.  I full out ugly cried in front of everyone.  On the plus side, though, her teachers sent me almost hourly proof-of-life pictures assuring me Schafer was doing fine.)

By that weekend, Schafer had her first cold and Banner was mute.  At first we thought he just had laryngitis, and found it almost amusing to watch him attempt to communicate with us in mime while eating brunch (seriously, he dropped his toy.  He looked at me, looked at the floor where his toy landed, looked back at me and frowned).  But then, after a trip to the grocery store, I started to worry when he seemed to have a hard time breathing.  An hour and a quick trip to urgent care later, and we had our diagnosis:  Strep Throat. 

It starts.

Our second week of the school year started with me at home in bed with two sick kiddos.

Can I go back to Colorado now?

Banner quotes, Durango Edition...

Yes, we did go to Durango this summer.  With Banner, it took us months to work up the courage to travel with a baby.  With Schafer, however, we are all over the place.  It helped greatly that we had to travel to Arkansas for William and Claire's wedding when Schaf was a mere seven weeks old.  It is amazing what you can accomplish when you tell yourself that missing an important family event isn't an option.

Of course, I nearly had a meltdown when the EPA released 3 million gallons of toxic water down the Animas less than a week before we were scheduled to arrive.  Never figured our attempt at a relaxing family vacation would involve me showering only ONCE in ten days (or "bathing" Banner in the hot tub for that matter), but somehow it worked.

My mom joined us on our trip.  Originally, it was only supposed to be the five of us, but Scott came down from Denver for a few days as well as my aunt and cousin from San Diego.  So much fun even if it was overshadowed by a river (and the creek directly behind my mother's cabin) running orange with a toxic heavy metal sludge.

Because of my nursing/pumping schedule, there wasn't a whole lot of hiking this summer.  That said, we did make it to Spud Lake and the waterfall on the Cascade Creek Trail (I even pumped and fed Schafer just below the bridge about 2.5 miles in!).  Of course, I'm pretty sure the weight of my breast pump is the reason my cousin, Lindsey, temporarily dislocated her knee on the hike back to the car.  Luckily, she was okay, and she made it back to the van on her own two feet without being carried.  Thank goodness I insisted we drive the van 3/4ths of the way up the four wheel drive road.  True, we almost got stuck, but almost doesn't count when having it means your cousin-who-just-carried-your-breast-pump-for-miles-and-hurt-her-knee-in-the-process doesn't have to walk any further than necessary.

Thanks for going along with me on that, Trevor!

(He was the one driving.)

For the record, it is so weird to be tied to a machine, but nursing, for Schafer, has a soporific effect.  She never seems to get enough unless I give it to her in a bottle.  Plus, like last time, I'm a producer.  Nothing like a case of mastitis (like I had following William and Claire's wedding) to make me appreciate the need to fully empty my boobs every three hours.

My new favorite thing is Banner's quote log on my iPhone.  Three year olds are hysterical.  Here are some of my favs from our summer vacation:

Banner: "Jeep, you have a long head."
GP: "Never been accused of that before."

Totally should have bought this shirt...

Banner: "Jeep? You picking your nose?"
GP: "No! You shouldn't pick your nose. You can pick your friends but you shouldn't pick your nose."
Banner: "And you should never pick your friends nose because it might make their nose bleed."

Banner [on doing a puzzle]: "But Jeep! I'm doing the little sh*ts!" ("Sh*ts" is Banner for "chicks").

Banner: "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! I found the tree!"
Trev: "Did it go missing?"

Trevor: "Who is the biggest person here?"
Banner: "Me."
Trevor: "Okay, let's think about this. Who has the bigger hand?"
Banner: "My hand is the little one."
Trevor: "So if your hand is the little one and my hand is the big one, who is the biggest one here?"
Banner: "Me."

GP: "You are so photogenic."
Me: "Woman! I'm your clone!"
Banner: "Mama? You the woman?"
Me: "No, the other woman is The Woman."
Banner: "Daddy?"

Banner: "Sh*t monkeys where are you?" ("Sh*t Monkeys" is Banner for "chipmunk". It later became the "sh*tmunks".  Honestly, not sure which is my favorite.)

GP: "There is no reason to be afraid of chipmunks, Banner. To them, you are a monster."
Banner: "No, I'm not! I'm a good guy!"

Trevor [yelling to banner who had ran up the trail]: "Let us know if you see any bears!"
Banner: "Okaaaaay!"

Banner: "I'm going to help you!"
GP: "No, that's okay. I don't need any help."
Banner: "Oh, yes you do."


What happens when the bounce house is taken over by girls.
Banner is the one sitting in the corner "observing".

Banner: "You ready for me to turn the page yet?"
GP: "No, not really."
Banner: "Turning the page now..."

GP: "If you keep your eyes peeled, Banner, you might see a bear."
Banner: "There no bears here!"
GP: "Oh, yes there are!"
Banner: "Jeep, there no bears here because they have no cars!"
Me: "Yeah, Jeep. Duh."

Banner (crying): "Jeep! Jeep! Jeep! Daddy gave me a kiss but he was dirty!"

Me: "Which super hero are you? Captain America?"
Banner: "No, mama! I Bruce Banner!"
Me: "Oh, right! Goodnight, Bruce."
Banner: "Mama, I no Bruce Banner yet because I'm still little. I'll be Bruce Banner when I'm big."
Me: "When will that be?"
Banner: "Next week."

Banner: "Last year I falled down the stairs and broke my goldfish cup."
Me: "Banner, that wasn't last year. That was Tuesday."

My heart and soul.

Banner: "Where's my baby sister?"
Trevor: "We decided to leave her at the restaurant."
Banner: "Nooooooooooooooo!"
Me: "Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding! She's in daddy's arms!"
Banner: "Don't leave my baby sister! I love her!"
Me: "I know! We'd never leave either of you!"
Trevor: "What happened?"
Me: "Don't joke about leaving his sister."
Trevor: "Oh."
Me: "Although, I'm glad to know he cares."

Trevor: "Banner! Tell mommy what we saw while she was in the store."
Banner: "Mama! We saw...we saw...something."
Me: "Wow."

Later...
Trevor: "Tell Jeep what you saw while she was in the store."
Banner: "Deer!"
GP: "Where?"
Banner: "By the road!"
Trevor: "How many?"
Banner: "Three!"
Trevor: "How many babies?"
Banner: "Two!"
Trevor: "How many mamas?"
Banner: "One!"
Trevor: "How many daddies?"
Banner: "Uh.  No many."

Trevor: "It's poker."
GP: "And he might just poke you."
Me: "Whoa, mom."

In middle of intense thunderstorm...
Trevor (jokingly): "Banner, want to run around outside with a golf club?"

About five minutes later after a particularly loud clap of thunder...
Trevor: "Where you going, buddy?"
Banner: "Going to get a golf club."
Everyone: "No!"

Headed to Trimble Hot Springs for our only bath/shower in ten days.
#thanksEPA

Girls at ice cream shop: "Hi!"
Banner: "Hi! I got a Jeep!"

Tish: "Wonder who the fastest gun in the west was?"
Banner: "Me!"
Tish: "Was it Billy the Kid?"
Banner: "No! It was me! I'm the fastest guy in the west!"

Banner: "But I don't want my skin to be breaked open!"

Lady at Beeville: "Is that a superman shirt you are wearing?"
Banner (proudly): "I have a superman shirt on and superman underwears, too!"
Lady at Beeville: "Oh!"