Oh, right. I forgot. I am an idiot...

Years ago the security guard caught me on filming running to the restroom.

Now, to be fair, I had been in a meeting for close to THREE hours. The closest facility off the museum's board room was out of order, and the nearest alternative was on the far side of the downstairs gallery. A gallery, by the way, that was - at the time - closed to the public. So, encouraged by the agony in my bladder and the absence of any witnesses (or so I thought), I ran sprinted to restroom.

Cut to upstairs: purely by chance, Lou, the security guard on duty that day, decided to look up from his newspaper and catch my mad dash to the ladies room on the security camera monitor. Then, a few minutes later, he watched as I reemerged and casually walked back down to the office area. Apparently the relief on my face was palpable (even on a grainy security video feed).

Lou wasted no time calling my extension and mocking me. And, in the weeks, months and YEARS that followed, it turned into a bit of an inside joke between us.

But eventually Lou moved on, and a different security guard took his place.

Today, I drank too much coffee right before the executive board of the museum was scheduled to meet back in the conference room. And, like before, the staff bathroom was inaccessible. So I had to venture out into the museum to use the public facility. This time around, though, the downstairs gallery was open, but (luckily) no one was in it.

All the same, I didn't want to cause too much of a spectacle. I would like to say that I learned from the first time that doing anything but walking LIKE A NORMAL PERSON to the bathroom can have far reaching consequences for one's ego. But skipping? Maybe skipping is okay.

So, yeah, I skipped to the bathroom.

And for about two hours I thought I had gotten away with it. That is, until security guard Tom came down and commented on my good mood.

Me: "Good mood?"

Tom: "Well, I saw you skip down the hall on the security camera earlier. I figured you were in a good mood. After all, the weather is fabulous this afternoon."

Me: "Right. The weather. Yep. I am in a great mood today. Just couldn't contain myself."

And that, my friends, is why it is sort of amazing that I am allowed to leave the house unsupervised.