Friday, December 12, 2014

Why is my child crying...

Because his hot dog "broke".

(The bun really just cracked and fell apart, but - at this age - a 
broken hot dog is right up there with the end of the world.)

Popping in to say HI...


Just popping in briefly to let everyone know that I'm still alive.  Things are good.  My brother got engaged to a great girl (Hi, CEO) over Thanksgiving, and Banner is rocking the big boy pants.  He is even waking up dry some mornings.  I know, I mind is blown.  I guess I figured potty training would take longer or be more of a struggle than it has been (I'm not kidding when I say THIS was the worst of it).  Someone told me it would click when he was ready, and I supposed that's really true.

And, yes, I am fully aware that I just jinxed myself my writing that down.  All the more so since we have a brand spankin' new sand colored couch arriving on Tuesday.

As for me, I've been trying my best to open up to those closest to me.  2014 has been a hard year - not just for me, but for many that I know and love - and I've really appreciated all your thoughts and prayers.  My fingers are crossed for good things in 2015.  I'm not sure I can see the light at the end or the proverbial tunnel yet, but at least I'm starting to optimistically believe that there might be one.  Baby steps, right?

In other news, I would just like to come out and say that I think the whole Elf on the Shelf thing is completely creepy.  And I don't mean that as a slight to anyone who does it.  Power to you if you do.  It is just that I've been tricked into seeing movies like CHUCKY since I was little (I somehow avoided seeing Annabelle this fall, but that sh*t is bound to come out on demand sooner or later), and I can think of nothing more disturbing than voluntarily bringing a doll into your home that moves around on its own volition, disappears randomly and causes mischief.  Mischief, might I add, that I will presumably have to clean up.

Plus, the d@mn thing has mitts for hands.  MITTS!

No thank you!

Trevor, of course, completely disagrees.  He is willing to sacrifice our safety in order to bribe our child to behave for three weeks in December.  It is obviously a good thing I'm around to stop him.  FOR ALL OUR SAKES.

Happy weekend, y'all, and enjoy all the back posts. 

Monday, December 08, 2014

50 random Bannerisms...

  1. Almost always says his favorite number is "eleventeen" and color "geen" (green).
  2. Thinks all football teams are the Dallas Cowboys.
  3. Is currently a camo belt in karate.
  4. Loves all things lollipop and ice-cream (because duh).
  5. Will randomly tell you that he is feeling "awesome".
  6. Still sleeps in a crib (he tried to climb out and fell over a year ago, and has never attempted to escape since).
  7. Knows Peter Parker is really Spiderman.
  8. Prefers to wear his underwear backwards so the picture of Spiderman is on the front.
  9. Desperately wants a bike.
  10. Still obsessed with sushi, edamame and raw ginger and requests it for dinner at least once a week.
  11. Almost never puts his shoes on the wrong feet.
  12. Always gets three dog cookies out of the treat jar when we are leaving.  One for each member of the Awesome Pawsome.
  13. Asks if Haskell is a girl despite being told repeatedly that Haskell is a boy (poor Haskell).
  14. Thinks all things train, plane, tractor and automobile are the best ever.
  15. Gives the BEST hugs, kisses and snuggles.
  16. Calls milk boxes "juice".
  17. Doesn't like cheese.
  18. Can't wait to go to swim class.
  19. Frequently asks me if "mama need more coffee?"
  20. Sometimes fakes a cough to get a teaspoon of honey before bed.
  21. Insists on zipping up his own coat, and buckling himself into his carseat.
  22. Tells the dogs to "walk away" when they try to steal his food (Gypsy is the worst.  She's old and just doesn't care if she gets caught).  Related: calls CEO's dog, Pilgrim, "Wigwam".
  23. Loves pickles.
  24. Believes burping and "pooting" to be the very pinnacle of hilarity.
  25. Whenever he sees string lights anywhere, says "Look!  Christmas!"
  26. Is terrified of Santa and the Easter Bunny, but LOVED it when Clifford the Big, Red Dog visited his school.
  27. Speaks in complete sentences and is usually very observant.
  28. Thinks all snowmen are "happy".
  29. Can't wait to move up to pre-school so he can play with his buddy, Charlie.
  30. Loves to flush the toilet, but is frequently scared of the flush.
  31. Can be bribed into smiling for a picture if someone faux hits someone else or pretends to throw up (ah, boys).
  32. Is always asking to use mama's "Wapstick" (chapstick).
  33. Says his favorite animal is the "horsey".
  34. Loves books.
  35. Bites his nails.
  36. Uses a blanket as a "pillow" every night.
  37. Is still a little iffy on his colors.
  38. Likes to blow out candles.
  39. Is utterly confused (and angry!) when the moon is up during the day.
  40. Never misses an opportunity to splash in a puddle.
  41. Prefers to eat muffins or waffles in the morning before school.
  42. Will say, "Look, mama!  That's a pretty park over there!" whenever we pass a playground.
  43. Asks to go to the "alley-eat-um" (arboretum), ranch and the "Durango house" constantly.
  44. Fights bedtime with ploys like "I need water", "I need to go to potty" and "I need another hug" every single night.
  45. Always prefers to be outside.
  46. Refers to his home as "Banner's house".
  47. Loves to have his hair brushed at school.  Related:  Has repeatedly told me that he "no like Amelia" and "Amelia no my friend".  Which is hard to understand since Amelia is adorable, very sweet...and well, (a young) two.  I've tried to get to the bottom of it, so much so that he now whispers "I no like Amelia" to himself when he sees her down the hall in the hopes I won't hear it and question him about her again.  I guess you don't have to like everyone in the world, but this is the first time we've added person to the same category as cheese (which the little weirdo also doesn't like). 
  48. Generally wakes up between 6:30 and 7 AM every morning.  No matter if he stays up late the night before or skips his afternoon nap.
  49. Is very stressed out by falling leaves.  Says "Oh, no!" with alarm, and always wants to know what happened and why they fell.
  50. Believes his name to be "Banner Winkle".