Thursday, May 19, 2016

Banner on the (now infamous) Rangers versus Blue Jays game...

In case you missed it, THIS HAPPENED at the Ranger's game on Sunday.

Here is what the brawl looked like from our seats...

Banner's thoughts on the game and fight (in no particular order):

  • "The Good Guy got The Bad Guy out."

  • [On baseball turning into hockey and both teams running on to the field] "That guy just needs a hug."

  • "Maybe there was a spider on The Bad Guy's face and The Good Guy was just trying to be nice by punching it off."

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Banner Quotes, Spring Edition...

Mr. Garcia: "Who lives with you at home?"
Banner: [Raises hand] "I brush my teeth by myself."
Mr. Garcia: "Good job, Banner, but who lives with you? Or, rather, who feeds you?"
Banner: "I feed myself."
Mr. Garcia: "Fair enough."

Schafer:  *Sneezes*
Banner: "Mama, Schafer got bless on me."

Banner:  "Don't worry mama! I being careful!"
(He was on top of his dresser trying to get something off the very top of the armoire.)

Banner:  "The doggies no like to go to bed, either."
Me:  "Not true.  Haskell loves his bed."
Banner:  [After a long pause...] "Well, Gypsy and Alley no like to go to bed.  Haskell just lazy."

Me: "What did you learn about in church today?"
Banner: {shrug} "Jesus?"

Banner:  "I want to be a police officer long as I can have my own phone."

Banner:  [Pointing to a stained glass window]  "Daddy? Is that Jesus?"
Trevor:  "Yes."
Banner:  "So, Jesus wears flip flops all the time?"

Banner:  "I never-ever pick my nose."

Banner:  "Momma, I need a new superhero picture thing for the wall because it is almost Thursday."
(He wanted a new calendar.)

Me: "Banner, I love you all the way to Pluto and back."
Banner: "Is that far?"
Me: "Yes, it is an unfathomable distance."
Banner: "Oh, like the ranch or Durango?"
Me: "Sort of."
Banner: "If you can't get there when you want, it's far."
Me: "Fair enough."

Banner: "Mommy, I sorry. I poot on you."
Me:  "Ew.  Really, Ban?"
Banner:  "You can't be mad because I already say 'sorry'."

Banner: "You can't talk to strangers because you don't know their names."

Banner:  "If you are a stranger, how you going to make any friends? Because you are a stranger, you don't have any friends and nobody want to talk to you because you are a stranger!"

Banner: [to ATT guy, Bo]: "So, you are a stranger."
Bo: "Yes, I guess I am."
Banner: "So you no have any friends?"
Bo: "No, I have friends."
Banner: "No you don't. You are a stranger. No one talks to strangers, so you no have any friends. You can't have friends if no one talks to you."
Bo: "But you are talking to me."
Banner: "I only talking to you because my mama is right there. Not because we are friends. I can't be friends with a stranger."

Banner: "Mommy, I brushed my hair to get the angles out."

Banner: "Kids just don't know things."
(After being reprimanded for doing something he knew he shouldn't do.)

Banner: "Boys are the best soccer players. Not girls."
Me: "Actually, buddy, girl soccer players won the World Cup. They are the best soccer players in the whole world."
Banner: "Not they aren't!"
Me: "Yes, they are. I can show you pictures."
Banner: "Well, I can show you boys!"

Banner: "That's funny. I don't like funny things."

Banner: "Ew! What's that smell?"
Me: "What smell?"
Banner: "Daddy."

Banner: "Mama, Pluto is not a planet. He is a dog and he lives at Mickey mouse's playhouse."

Banner: "I just kissed myself because I am one of the dudes."

Banner: "I no nap at school today because I was busy protecting all my friends."
Me: "From what?"
Banner: "Probably spiders."

Banner: "Knock, knock."
Trev: "Who is there?"
Banner: "Pizza."
Trev: "Pizza who?"
Banner: "Flower."
Trev: "I don't think you understand how knock-knock jokes work."
Banner: "Mama, you know how you call me 'peanut'?"
Me: "Yes."
Banner: "I want to be your pumpkin. Not your peanut."
Banner: "Mama, I want you to know that I chose you to be my mama. I looked down and thought to myself, '[my full name]'. She knows me."

Banner: "Mama, did you know that dinosaurs can't sneeze on girls or pick on boys?"

Banner: "I can ride a motorcycle because I'm the smart one."
Banner: "Mama? Why that bird running when it can fly?"
Me: "Dunno, buddy. Been wondering the same thing for years."
Banner: "Yeah, because birds run funny."
Me: "I was thinking more along the lines of 'why run when you can fly' but sure."

Banner to Schafer: "I love you fat, little girl!"

Banner refers to both his wallet (that Gram gave him for Christmas) and the pockets on his over-the-door shoe organizer in his closet as "envelopes".
Me:  "Isn't fair?"
Banner:  "NO!  It IS fair!"
Me:  "Okay.  Then why are you upset?"
Banner:  "It is just too fair!"
 Banner:  "Maybe ice cream will make it all better?"
Banner:  "Is it still Mother's Day?"
Me:  "No.  That was just Sunday."
Banner:  "But I want it to still be Mother's Day!"
Me:  "Well, it will be Father's Day soon..."
Banner:  "When is it going to be Kid's Day?"