Thursday, May 29, 2014

Well, he definitely got this from his father...

“Truly wonderful the mind of a child is.”
- Yoda

I've never seen Star Trek Wars.  Trevor tried to make me watch once years ago.  I fell asleep.  It is still a sore subject.  But he got back at me by telling me that Gypsy looked like Yoda.  I wasn't really familiar with Yoda, so I thought this was a term of endearment.  That is, until Trevor showed me a picture of Yoda years later and...well, Yoda may be a lot of things, but "cute" isn't one of them.

Any questions?

Anyway, to mock me, Banner has several Yoda toys and even a Yoda shirt that he insists on wearing from time to time (i.e. several times a week).  But this morning, Banner woke up calling for Yoda (not mommy.  Yoda.  Seriously, kid?) and insisted on taking both big Yoda and baby Yoda to school with him this morning.  He even shared his goldfish with the stuffed Yodas during the ride.

This is how Banner looked as I loaded the car this morning:

He even TALKS to Yoda.  Creepy.  

Please note that Yoda was STILL in the same position twenty minutes later:

What do you mean we are here?  Already?

Ugliest toy in the world, and my kid is in love.

Big Yoda and baby Yoda also HAD to go to dinner tonight, and sit with various family members around the table.  He even "fed" them some of his sweet pickles, and they are both in Banner's crib as I type.  William wants Trevor to start showing Banner Star Trek Wars clips to reinforce this Yoda adoration.

I don't even know what to think about all of this, but it suggests I'm not going to have the opportunity to live out my days basking in the warm glow of Star Trek Wars ignorance.  And it isn't like this Yoda obsession started today.  This has been going on for MONTHS.  Back when Banner was in the toddler room, he chose big Yoda and baby Yoda to take to school for big/little show-and-tell day.  Everyone else took stuffed dogs, bears and Elmos, but not my kid.  Ebony said it was the ugliest soft toy she had ever seen and she couldn't believe Banner had two of them.

Luckily, Banner is equally enamored with his trains and puppy lovies.  Substantially less creepy than a balding, green alien in a robe.  So, I guess, there is hope.

May The Force be with me.

Update:  I just asked Trevor if this is the stupidest post I've ever written (which is really saying something since I've had this little corner of the internet for nearly a decade), and he said, "No.  Nothing about Yoda could ever be stupid".  So there is that glowing endorsement.

(Shakes head.)

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Remember how all dogs used to be "alley"?

Just call me "alley-copter"

Well, now helicopters are "alley-copters" and the arboretum is the "alley-eat-um".

I don't know why this cracks me up, but it does.  Every single time.

Ban-na funny!

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

They are just so fluffy!!!

For the last week or two, we've noticed a couple of ducks in the neighborhood.  My neighbors are adding on to their house, but they have a pool.  Part of me thought maybe the ducks were nesting in their backyard since the family that lives there (and all their animals) have relocated during the renovation.

So imagine my surprise when I witnessed all these adorable little balls of fuzz emerging for the first time from the overgrown plant in my front yard:

It was all the noise the mother duck was making that got my attention.  She was sitting next to the flower bed on the deck quacking into my overgrown shrubbery.  Every few seconds another duckling would pop out until they were all present and accounted for.  It might have been the cutest thing in the history of ever.

Quacking into the plant where she had hidden her nest.

My only regret was that I had JUST taken Banner to school (I was technically off today but had a lunch thing).  He would have LOVED seeing the baby ducks waddle off on their first big adventure!

Good luck, little duckies!!!

Banner shorts...

When:  March.
Where:  Day Care.  Pickup.
Why:  Because I discovered Banner in time out.

Me:  "Uh-oh, Ban.  Why are you in time out?"
Bianca:  "He got mad at his friend and hit her."
Me:  "Now, Banner.  You know you are not supposed to hit!"
Banner:  "Bite?"
Me:  "No.  We don't bite them either."
Banner:  {frustrated sigh}

When:  Last month.
Where:  Banner's bedroom.
Why:  Because the band-aid on his finger had disappeared.

Me:  "What's wrong, buddy?  It is night-night time."
Banner:  "Band-aid gone."
Me:  "Where did it go?"
Banner:  "I ate it."
In my mind:  "Sh*t."

(I found it on the floor the next morning, so he didn't actually eat it.)

When:  Early April.
Where:  Ranch.
Why:  Because Trevor took Banner's penny away and hid it in his pocket.

Trevor:  "Where is your penny?"
Banner:  "Where?!"
Trevor:  "What happened?"
Banner:  "Ban-na had a penny.  Now penny gone."

When:  Four weeks ago.
Where:  Day Care.  Pick up.
Why:  Because he was so excited about it.

Banner:  "Mama!  Mama!  I listen!  I listen!"
Me:  "Wow!  Good job, buddy!"
Teacher:  "Yeah.  Once."
Me: [Laughing] "Well, we all have to start somewhere, don't we?!"

When:  Two weeks ago.
Where:  The dog run.
Why:  Because I was picking up dog poop.

Banner:  "Whatcha doin', mommy?"
Me:  "Picking up the doggies poo-poo."
Banner:  "Poo-poo nasty."
Me:  "Yes.  Poo-poo IS nasty."
Banner:  [Shrugging]  "Poo-poo happens."

When:  Three weeks ago.
Where:  Day Care.  Drop off.
Why:  Because the kids were counting to twelve.

Banner:  "One.  Two.  Chicken.  Nine."
Me (to teacher):  "So, uh.  Have you heard Banner count?"
Teacher:  "Yeah.  He's funny.  He consolidates."
Me:  "Who knew 'chicken' had so many uses:  food, insult, the numbers three through eight..."

Counting with the word "chicken" 
(Complete with nose picking...sigh)

When:  Two weeks ago.
Where:  His crib.
Why:  Because he was awake and I wasn't.

Banner:  "MAMA! UP!"
Me:  "Mama's sleeping!"
Banner:  "Oh!  [Whispering] Mama's sleepin'.  [Mimics snoring sounds]"

When:  Early May.
Where:  Banner's room.
Why:  Because Banner loves this game where he sings "[Insert name, insert name] I like that name!"

Banner:  "Daddy! Daddy!  I like that name!  Mommy!  Mommy!  I like that name!  Alley!  Alley!  I like that name!"


"Daddy, who dat's name?"

Trevor:  [Looking around the room]  "What's who's name?"
Banner:  [Pointing.  At an invisible someone.]  "Dem.  What's der name?"
Trevor:  "Buddy, there is no one there."
Banner:  [Continues to stare and point at no one.]
Trevor:  "Okay, you are creeping me out.  We gotta' go."

When:  Ten days ago.
Where:  Home.
Why:  Because his tummy hurt after drinking ALL the milk.

Banner:  "My tummy hurts."
Trevor:  "Oh, no.  Want to go tell mommy?"
Banner:  "Okay.  Mommy my tummy hurts!"
Me:  "Poor ba..."
Me:  "Oh, my!"
Banner:  [Laughing hysterically] "I burp!"
Trevor:  "Wow.  Do you feel better?"
Banner: "Yeah!  I feel better!"

When:  Last weekend.
Where:  At the ranch.
Why:  Because I was curious if he knew the answer.

Me:  "Where do you live, Banner? Do you live in Texas?"
Banner:  "No. I live at Banners house!"
Me:  "Fair enough."

When:  Friday night.
Where:  On the way to dinner.
Why:  I don't know.  It was sweet, though.

Banner:  "Mommy pretty!"
Me:  "Awe! Thank you, Banner!"
Trevor:  "Is daddy pretty?"
Banner:  "Nuh-uh. Daddy no pretty."

When:  Sunday.
Where:  Home.
Why:  Because Trevor wanted to know how breakfast was.

Trevor:  "Banner, how's your waffle?"
Banner:  "It is delicious!"
Trevor:  "Did you just say 'delicious'?"
Banner:  "Yeah!  Delicious!"

When:  Monday.
Where:  Home.
Why:  Because Trevor is going on a trip soon and we are trying to prepare Banner.

Trevor:  "I'm going to Canada soon. Banner is going to stay home with mommy."
Banner:  "No!"
Trevor:  "What is it buddy?"
Banner:  " too!"
Trevor:  "You want to go to Canada?"
Banner:  "Yeah.  Me too.  Banner go Canada."

When:  Whenever we need to change his diaper.
Where:  Wherever.
Why:  Because he doesn't want his diaper changed.

Trevor:  "Let's go get a new pull-up."
Banner:  "No, I fine!"

When:  Dinnertime.
Where:  Home.
Why:  Because we try to involve him in the "what's for dinner" conversation whenever possible.

Trevor:  "What do you want for dinner?  Chicken?  Hummus? Banana?"
Banner:  "Ice cream."
Trevor:  "No, buddy.  That's not how this works."
Banner:  "I want ice cream dinner."

When:  Whenever it storms.
Where:  School.
Why:  Because, at two, he is already a master manipulator.

Banner:  [Running at inside door to the playground while laughing hysterically] "BOOM!"

Meanwhile at home...

Storm:  "BOOM!"
Banner:  "Oh, no!  I scared!  Thunder scary!"

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

The ranch, the tractors and the Spartan Race...

So, Trevor registered for this Spartan Race months ago.  Which is funny in a way, because Trevor promised that he wouldn't register for any new races after I got pregnant (because I have a tendency to be a LOT little competitive).  And then - not even kidding you - ONE WEEK after I told him I was pregnant again back in January, he came to me with news of this "really cool race" down in Burnet in May that he just HAD to do.

Trevor needs a refresher on the definition of "promise".

But I relented.  Mainly because Trevor has always wanted to be a spartan and push tires in the mud.  And by "always" I really mean "since 2007 when he first saw the movie 300".  Who was I to stand in the way?  Plus, since the whole pregnancy thing didn't work out, it gave Trevor something to train for and look forward to after the miscarriage.

The nifty thing about this particular Spartan Race was that it close to the ranch.  So, instead of driving to Burnet, running a race and driving back to Dallas, we all just spent the weekend in the hill country.

Haskell was thrilled because this meant he got to go.

It also allowed us to come and watch Trevor run.  I don't know if anyone who reads this blog has ever gone to or participated in a Spartan Race, but it is quite the spectacle.  There are something like 30,000 participants spread out over two days.  Spectators are encouraged, and there is even a mini Spartan Race for the 4-8 crowd.

Of course, Saturday was toasty, and there wasn't much shade.  Which sort of explains Banner's sunscreen mohawk:

To be fair, we tried to put a hat on him, but he didn't like it because it was hot.  Desperate times, desperate measures.

Honestly, Banner didn't mind too much because we were waiting in line to ride on a school bus from the parking area to the starting line.  Little man was thrilled.  It was his first ride on a bus and he savored every second.  Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and be two again.  There is something magical about watching another human being be so genuinely happy and excited about doing something as mundane as riding a bus.  I wish I could bottle that enthusiasm.  It was contagious, and he is still talking about it days later.  Because, dude, he rode A BUS!

But back to the race.  Y'all.  There are no words, so I'm just going to show you some of the pictures I took of a few of the obstacles:

Waiting for daddy...

It was crazy.

Sadly, we missed Trevor crossing the finish line.  But only just.  Once we did find him, though, all he could say was "never again".  Which is hysterically funny since he was already planning a second Spartan Run a mere two hours later.

It took him 3 hours to finish.  The race was supposed to be 8 miles long, but ended up being 9.5.  Any obstacle you either couldn't or failed to do required 30 burpees.  It was hot.  It was dusty.  But the water they had to crawl and swim through was icy cold.  Might sound refreshing, but it was a recipe for muscle cramps.  The poor guy could barely walk afterwards, but Trevor finished!!

Banner also got a metal.  Technically, he was too young to do the mini Spartan, but Trevor registered him anyway.  Spectators cost $20/each, but mini Spartan registration was $25 AND you got a t-shirt and two FREE spectators.  What would you have done?  ;P

Plus, Banner was so good all morning.  It was about a mile from the parking area to where the buses were picking up, and about another third of a mile to the starting line/observation area.  Banner was a trooper the entire time despite all the heat and sun.  So, I asked the guy handing out the mini Spartan metals if Banner could have one (since we had registered and paid for the metal anyway), and he gladly handed one over.  Banner was so proud:

Just like daddy!

After the race, we got lunch in town and spent the rest of the day hanging out at the ranch; complete with an evening cook out at the dam just like when I was a kiddo.

The ranch really is turning into one of Banner's favorite places, and it is neat to see him doing the things I did as a child.  Of course, nothing is cooler for a(n almost) 2.5 year old than getting to drive the tractor with Uncle Yum.  He was in heaven!

Thank you, William, for being so patient with him and taking him for rides!

Last but not least, Sunday was Gypsy's 11th birthday (or the tenth anniversary of her adoption from the SPCA of Texas).  She celebrated in style (even if she looks horrified):

All in all, a fabulous weekend filled with good fun, good food and good people.  Now if I can only figure out a way to talk Trevor out of doing a 13 mile Spartan Run in November.  Because...SERIOUSLY, TREVOR?!

Sunday, May 18, 2014

So, you know it has been a week when...

...Monday starts with a flat tire (on tires less than 48 hours old to boot) and Sunday ends with one of the dogs having diarrhea exploding in the back of your car.

To be fair, I told Trevor I thought Gypsy needed to stop for a potty break as we passed Cedar Hill on the way back from the ranch.  He thought she could make it and...well, she *almost* did.



Friday, May 16, 2014

It may not be official, but it happened anyway...

Last Saturday, this happened:

I have no idea why the number 12 appears twice.
Clearly, the second 12 was supposed to say 13.

I've wanted to run another half for awhile now, but they keep getting canceled.  First, the Dallas Marathon fell victim to the ice storm in December, and then the Mother's Day half I was going to run...well, I have no idea what happened to it.  I picked up a flyer about it at either the Jog'r Egg Nog'r or the Too Cold To Hold.  But when it came time to register, I could not find a single mention of it in 2014. 

The thing is:  I HAD TO RUN.  But probably not for the reason you think.  See, Trevor is running in a Spartan Dash this coming weekend, and I am way too competitive to simply sit back and allow him to compete without accomplishing something as well.

(Note:  This is why we normally run together, because he is the same way.)

Anyway, I was only cleared for physical activity on April 11th, so I've gone from zero to half in four weeks.  To be fair, though, I've been running pretty consistently for the last year.  But my last run over 5 or 10k was way back in February. 

Which is probably the main reason why my self-imposed half wasn't the prettiest thing in the world.  It took nearly two and a half hours, and I saved all the sun, heat, humidity and hills for the bitter end.  But still.  I finished (with an extra two tenths of a mile to boot!).  Without walking (except oh-so briefly during the final quarter of a mile).  And I can finally check that whole "run another half" off my mental to-do list.

Plus, I burned a heck of a lot of calories.
Totally earned those Mother's Day MARGARITAS!

Of course, I've never been one of those people that can run distance without training for it.  And, obviously, I'm not very speedy even when I do.  So it should come as no surprise that running this much this quickly has resulted in a nasty case of bacterial Pharyngitis.  I was fine Wednesday.  Went to the gym after work, ran a 5k and lifted.  Came home and started feeling off during dinner.  Woke up Thursday, and *wham* could barely swallow.  By late afternoon, I started feeling achy with "the chills", and Trevor insisted we spend the first half of our date night at the local PrimaCare.  Rapid strep test was negative, but doc said I definitely had some sort of nasty infection going on at the back of my throat. 

So, $50 and a couple of prescriptions later (yay, drugs!), I'm supposedly on the mend.  Trevor is excited that I've been told to rest.  I'm just looking forward to being able to swallow again without agony.  This is definitely one of the worst sore throats I've ever had.

Still?  That half last weekend?  Totally worth it.  ;P