Sunday, September 21, 2014

I know you are jealous...

This might be my FAVORITE piece of art that Banner has produced to date.  Mainly because I have no earthly idea what it is or even what it was supposed to be.  It is simply a glorious lump of paper mache and purple paint. 

A glorious purple lump, might I add, that I proudly displayed on our kitchen island until Trevor couldn't take it any more it mysteriously disappeared. 

Thank goodness I took pictures (you are welcome!):

So you can get a since of scale, it was about
the same size as a large dog's head.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

About the Woo...

Oh, Gypsy, Gypsy, Gypsy.

Earlier this month Gypsy came down an ear infection and double yeast infection on her back paws.  Because of course she did. 

She's now so hyper sensitive to yeast that she has zero tolerance and immediately starts to worry the affected area.  Which is fabulous if it is late on a Friday when you first notice that the itchy b*tch is itchier than usual.  And when I say "itchier than usual" I really mean "gnawing and licking her paws until they bleed".  So, I did what any reasonable dog mom in a desperate situation would do.  I filled socks with corn starch and taped them on her back paws (hey, corn starch works for diaper rash!).  And you know what?  It was a miracle.  The corn starch dried out the yeast and the socks kept her from licking her paws anymore.  Problem (temporarily) solved!

Of course, she totally got back at me by WALKING.  Clearly, I didn't think everything through because:

Well played, Woo.  Well played.

Later that same night, or rather the wee hours of the morning (specifically 4 AM), her ear started to bother her.  Earlier it had just been warm and tender to the touch.  But in the predawn hours of the day, it suddenly escalated to I MUST SHAKE MY HEAD EVERY TEN SECONDS.  This was not only annoying (4 IN THE MORNING!), but also cause for concern because Gypsy has a history of ear hematomas.  And, OMG, I CAN'T GO DOWN THAT ROAD AGAIN.

Which is how this happened: 

Yes, that's my dog with a dish towel duct taped to her head.
In my defense, I used Avengers duct tape.

Before you go and call the SPCA on me, the vet actually congratulated me on my efforts to both soothe Gypsy and keep her from making a bad situation worse.  Because dogs with a history of ear hematomas are more likely than those without to get another ear hematoma.  Believe me when I tell you that a dish towel temporarily duct taped on her head (until we could make it to the vet) was the most humane of all the options.   

Even if she does look like a little, old lady with a head scarf.

Monday, September 15, 2014

That time I picked up a waitress at a steakhouse...

I totally picked up the waitress at a steakhouse back in July, and left the restaurant with digits. This amused my husband to no end. But said waitress and I have been on multiple play dates with our boys who just happen to be 48 hours apart in age. It is basically the most awesome thing in the history of ever. 

But I'd be lying if I said this whole "mom dating" thing is easy, because it is not.  I have a tendency to be awkward.  And you know what is a guaranteed recipe for awkwardness (if you are me)?  Seeing your son hit it off brilliantly with this other little boy, and realizing that the pressure is on you not to screw this up for everyone involved.

I may have spent most of our first playdate overanalyzing every.single.word before speaking aloud.  Which led to a lot of awkward silences.  Which, shockingly, was AWKWARD.  Basically, I'm even awkward when I'm concerted effort not to be awkward.  It's an aptitude.  

And for anyone who thinks "mom dating" isn't really a thing, you should know the following:

  • I waited three days to contact her so I wouldn't seem too desperate.
  • I agonize over every single text.  I even make Trevor read some before hitting "send".
  • I found the waitress on FB but didn't friend her because I didn't want to be too presumptuous that we are, you know..."friends" after six weeks of knowing each other. 
  • I drove to Lewisville for a playdate.  I won't even drive to Lewisville for Trevor (who works there), and he is my baby daddy.  
  • We only get the boys together every other week or so, because I don't want it to seem like I don't have other mom friends.

It is possible I am overthinking this too much.  To be fair, though, I just don't want to mess this up:

Friday, September 12, 2014

On Superhero Cosplay...

I think I mentioned before that Banner is slightly obsessed with superheroes.  It might be one of my favorite phases yet.  Mainly because it is adorable, and also because of the way he pronounces the names of some of his favorite Avengers ("Huck", "Piderman", "Toy-r", "Cap-ain 'Murica", etc.).

Also, because it means we've finally reached that stage in development where playing dress up is a thing.  Seriously, is there anything cuter?  My mom bought Banner three costumes at Costco.  Sounds excessive, but they were only $15 and the hope is that one of them will survive the next month and a half so it can be used for Halloween.

But the very, very best was when he tried on that Spiderman mask for the very first time, and looked in the mirror.  His little jaw dropped in amazement at the image being reflected back.  I wish I had a photo because the caption totally would read, "Holy sh*t, you guys!  I AM Spiderman!"

In related news, have you ever tried to get a two year old out of Spiderman PJs or his favorite Hulk costume?  Yeah.  Talk about an exercise it futility.  Our record in the Spiderman PJs is forty eight hours.

Monday, September 08, 2014

What Banner SHOULD have worn for school picture day...

Part of me was relieved when I got him in a button down and khaki shorts (the struggle was real, people!), and the other part thinks that I should have just let him get his picture made wearing this:

Because nothing sums up 2.5 year old Banner like his Spiderman PJ top, zebra print shorts, Monsters University rain boots, and his "purse" filled with various Thomas the Train engines.

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Caption this...

Trevor calls it "Mini Genius Bar".

Monday, September 01, 2014

Last pool day of the summer...

This boy loves his Papa Mint, and the following pictures simply make my heart happy: