Wednesday, March 28, 2007

My new excuse for EVERYTHING: I have a big head and little arms...

Trevor doesn’t know it yet, but we are going to the movies Friday night. It has been a long time since I’ve been so excited about seeing a film, much less a cartoon. Okay, that’s a lie: I LOVE animated flicks. Disney, Pixar, DreamWorks – I adore them all. Nothing makes me happier (much to Trevor's dismay) than watching movies like SHREK, ICE AGE, CARS and MONSTERS INC. To his credit, though, Trevor will voluntarily suffer through an animated feature on occasion (i.e. once or twice a year, if I'm lucky or he owes me).

Case in point: Being the good boyfriend that he is, Trevor surprised me by taking me to see HAPPY FEET back in November. Yeah, that was the longest 108 minutes of Trevor’s life. Somehow, in all my excitement, I forgot to mention that it was a musical. Trevor doesn’t do musicals, much less musicals with dancing penguins. It was a GREAT time. I like to think of HAPPY FEET as payback for all of the horrible movies Trevor has subjected me to over the past five years. Namely: THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, THE GRUDGE and KILLER CLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE. If you haven’t yet seen these cinematic disasters, consider yourself lucky. I, for one, am still having nightmares.

Anyway, back to this Friday night. Has anyone seen the trailer for MEET THE ROBINSONS? It’s freakin’ hysterical. If the movie is anything like the ad, it’s going to be awesome (like a hotdog but better). Seriously, I cannot remember the last time a promo made me - literately - laugh out loud. Not just once, either. Oh, no, no. I break into side-splitting fits of laughter every time I think of the clip, so you can imagine what happens when I see the trailer on TV. Tears, people! I laugh so hard my eyes well up with tears! I just cannot get over the following conversation between the villain and T-Rex:

Villain:Why aren’t you seizing the boy?

T-Rex:I have a big head and little arms.


It’s even funny when I type it! Genius! Don’t believe me? Here, see for yourself:

(I should also mention that you can find this clip by typing
"I have a big head and little arms" into Google. LOVE IT!)

Monday, March 26, 2007

On Haskell's recovery...

As you all may or may not remember, when I found Haskell last June, he had been hit by a car. Ever since, the little guy has had a pretty significant limp. Initially, my vet prescribed over-the-counter joint supplements to help support and repair Haskell’s injured shoulder. However, as time wore on, it became apparent that this treatment wasn’t working. In fact, Haskell seemed to be getting worse.

So, last month, I decided to take my fluffy puppy back to the doctor. I was worried because, as the winter wore on, I had noticed Haskell utilizing the limb less and less. This was confirmed by the vet during the examination. Haskell was suffering from pretty significant atrophy in his front left leg. As a result, the left arm was considerably smaller than the one on the right. The vet was concerned that, if allowed to continue without treatment, he could lose the use of the limb completely. In that case, we’d have no other option than to (gasp!) amputate it.

Consequently, x-rays were ordered, and the results really weren’t all that surprising: Haskell needed surgery to repair the damage done to his shoulder during the accident. It wasn’t an emergency procedure per say, but the vet wanted the surgery to be scheduled sooner than later. The reason was simple: Haskell was in pain. A lot of pain. Plus, the more time that went by, the more irreparable damage would be done to the joint.

Therefore, last Wednesday (the 21st), my little stray dog went under the knife.

At first, Haskell seemed to be a good candidate for arthroscopic surgery. However, once on the operating table, this plan had to be scratched. Apparently, a large flap of cartilage was floating around inside the joint. It was so big that the surgeons had no other option than to remove it the hard way: by opening the joint and pulling the sucker out. This ended up being a good thing, because, once inside, they discovered several other pieces of rogue cartilage, a couple of bone spurs as well as a fracture in the joint that had never healed properly (most likely caused by the run in with the automobile). To fix this last problem, they had to drill into Haskell’s bone and even every thing out (ouch!). Since I’m not a doctor, the specifics were kind of lost on me. That said, I did grasp that the surgery, itself, was rather invasive. Ironically, this equaled “cheaper” somehow. Had they been successful at fixing the shoulder arthroscopically, my final bill would have been much, much more. Go figure.

Anyway, Haskell had to spend Wednesday night at the surgery center hooked up to a morphine drip (lucky dog). I wanted to visit him, and even mustered up the courage to ask the receptionist if this was a possibility (I could feel her rolling her eyes). Sadly, though, my request was turned down. Apparently, Haskell was still loopy from surgery, and (yes, I’m quoting an actual conversation here) “he probably didn’t even know he was a dog, much less in a state to recognize his doggie momma.” According to the receptionist, if he was lucid enough to know who I was, Haskell would probably jump to the erroneous conclusion that he was going home. This would be a bad thing since the little man had an all night date with lady morphine at the surgical center in Mesquite.

Haskell was finally allowed to go home late on Thursday afternoon. I had to meet with a vet before they would release him to me. The purpose was rather routine: they wanted to fill me in on the surgery, tell me how to administer the post operative drugs, etc. It was during this meeting that I was presented with a small container. Inside: a chunk of Haskell’s cartilage. Yes, that’s right. They gave me a part of my dog in a bottle. Apparently, it was one of the largest flaps of cartilage they had ever removed from the joint of a dog Haskell’s size. Oddly enough, I wasn’t as excited about my newly acquired souvenir as was the doctor. Hmmmmm…can’t imagine why?! I wonder what I should do with it now? Can you throw stuff like that away? Maybe I’ll “regift” it to Haskell’s regular vet as a special “Thank You”. Is that (too) weird?!

So, Haskell is home now and recovering from the whole ordeal. He has to wear a lampshade until the stitches come out, which is embarrassing for everyone involved – especially on walks around the neighborhood. He runs into everything, and - if he bends down to sniff something - the lampshade acts like a plastic bull dozer. Small plants and animals beware! Only good thing about it is that Haskell, as far as I can tell, has no idea that a good quarter of his body has been shaved. He looks ridiculous – especially his two front legs. It kind of appears as if Haskell is wearing knee socks that have fallen down around his wrists. He’d look normal if only he’d pull his fluff back up where it belongs!

I’ve also made the somewhat shocking discovery that, while prepping him for surgery, Haskell apparently had one of his nipples (accidentally) shaved off. I’m hoping that Haskell’s hair will grow out and cover the place where the amputated nipple was once located. If I’m lucky, this will happen BEFORE he gets his lampshade off in the next five to seven days. I’m sure it would be traumatic for him to suddenly discover he’d “misplaced” a nipple in the past two weeks. Granted, Haskell has four or five times as many nipples as I do (not to mention the fact they serve no purpose), but still…

The worst thing about this whole post-surgery/recovery thing is the color of Haskell’s stitches. It apparently wasn’t bad enough that he had to have surgery in the first place. Oh, no, no. They also had to stitch him up using neon pink thread. If that isn’t a blow to his masculinity, I don’t know what is! Trevor and I have tried to soothe him by referring to them as, “very, very, VERY MANLY pink stitches”. However, I think Haskell knows the truth. Poor guy. Talk about adding insult to injury! This will probably take years of therapy to correct.

Anyway, below are some pictures of “the patient”. Is it wrong that they make me giggle? I mean, I feel bad for the little guy, I do! It’s just that, well, Haskell kind looks like a poodle having a bad hair day. And that lampshade…(snicker! snicker!). Let’s just say Trevor suggested we use him as a rain gage. :P

(Don’t forget to hold your mouse over the images to see my commentary!)

The oh-so manly pink stitches...

You're laughing at me, aren't you?!

Canine Rain Gage...

To the BATMAN theme song: Lamp Dog, Lamp Dog, Lamp Dog...

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

A precursor to Trevor’s inevitable midlife crisis (or something like that)…

Last Thursday, Trevor, my sister and I went to see the movie 300, after which Trevor announced, “I want to be a Spartan.” This unexpected declaration was promptly followed by an invitation to “The Gun Show” (i.e. Trevor asking me to feel his bicep).

Less than 24 hours later, Trevor and I went to the Mavericks/Celtics game at the American Airlines Center. In typical Trevor form, he “tricked” me into believing the game started at 6:30 PM. I should have known better than to trust him. After all, this is the same boy that once took me to a Cowboy’s game more than three (3!) hours early. Trevor has this thing about beating crowds to sporting events, but even he has to admit that was a mite ridiculous. The pre-game tailgaters hadn’t even shown up yet!

Incase you were wondering: there is absolutely NOTHING to do for three hours out at Texas Stadium. The word “boredom” took on a whole new meaning for me. I literately found myself counting down the seconds until kick-off (if you know me, you can appreciate how truly dire the situation was that afternoon. If you don’t, well, let’s put it this way: I’m not exactly the biggest Cowboy’s sports fan out there, so something is seriously wrong if the highlight of my afternoon is the mere anticipation of watching football). Good times, let me tell you.

But I digress...

It was during our 90+ minute wait last Friday, that I overheard Trevor proclaim, “I want to be a Maniaac.”

Now, I’m (obviously) no expert, but is it normal to go from wanting to be a Spartan one day to wanting to be a Maniaac the next? It would be one thing if “Spartan” and “Maniaac” weren’t polar opposites of each other, but since they are I find myself a tad concerned. Mainly: do I get a vote? Because, call me crazy, but I’m thinkin’ I’d prefer a Spartan to a Maniaac (no offense, Eddo). It has something to do with the well-defined abs, capes and Speedos, I think…

One of those impossibly hard decisions...

Monday, March 19, 2007

Putting the "MAD" back in "March MADness"...

Otto!I need to get something off my chest.

I am EXTREMELY disappointed that Syracuse University didn’t make the NCAA tournament this year.

Now, it would have been one thing had my beloved ORANGE Orangemen sucked this season, but they didn’t. They played well, and how are they rewarded? A trip to the NIT (a.k.a. “The Losers Bracket”). I’m sorry…what?! Methinks we got snubbed!

But don’t take my word for it. After all, I’d be lying if I claimed to be some sort of basketball connoisseur. So, let’s consider the stats instead:

- Syracuse finished 10-6 in the Big East (22-10 overall). Villanova finished 9-7 (also in the Big East). Villanova made the tournament, Syracuse did not. Seriously: How many other BCS teams can you name that had a 10-win season and didn’t get to go to the NCAA tournament?!

- Syracuse ended Georgetown’s 11-game winning streak on February 26th – beating the Hoyas by a whooping 14 points. As of today, that was the last time Georgetown lost (they are scheduled to play Vanderbilt in the Sweet Sixteen on Friday).

- Syracuse tied Marquette for fifth place in the Big East. Villanova finished sixth in a three way tie with DePaul and West Virginia. Again: Villanova made the tournament. Syracuse did not.

- In February alone, Syracuse went 6-1. Louisville and Pittsburg (No. 2 and No. 3 in the Big East respectively) were 5-2, and Marquette was 3-4.

- Syracuse was 7-3 in their last 10 games (pre-tournament), as was Louisville. Pitt was 6-4.

- Syracuse has a 5-5 record against the group of 65 teams selected for the 2007 NCAA tournament.

- Stanford made the tournament with a record of 18-12. They tied Miami of Ohio for the smallest number of overall victories in the NCAA tournament this year. The Cardinal's Ratings Percentage Index (RPI) of 63 was one of the worse among the 2007 tournament contenders.

- There are several schools that have lower RPI rankings (according to THIS LIST) than Syracuse. Among them: Texas Tech (53), Holy Cross (60), GWU (71), Oral Roberts (90), Penn. (88) and Miami of Ohio (92). Despite their standing, however, these schools made the NCAA tournament. Syracuse did not.

- Arkansas had a losing record of 7-9 in the SEC West. They made the tournament. Uhmmmmmmm…what?!

I think Syracuse Head Coach, Jim Boeheim, said it best: "You look at our overall season, and it was better than some in the tournament."

Um, yeah?! Obviously!

Anyway, I had planned on posting this little tirade before the NCAA tournament began, but had to hold my tongue. See: unlike my alma mater, my graduate school DID get to go this year. Therefore, I didn’t want to openly boycott the tournament for fear that the Colonials would be the 2007 Cinderella story or something equally as amazing. After all, there isn’t any reason to stage a boycott if I (myself) am not planning on adhering to it.

However, it was all for not: The Colonials lost in Round One to Vanderbilt (le sigh).

Anyway, with GWU gone, I am now free to express my acute disappointment that Syracuse was not included in the NCAA tournament. Better late than never, right?

In other news, Syracuse is hosting San Diego State tonight for round two of the NIT. Not only that, but chances are good that they will break the almost 30-year-old attendance record (the current NIT record of 23,522 was set by Kentucky in 1979).

Let’s GO, Orange! Let’s GO!

3/20/2007 - M. Basketball

Four SU seniors play final home game in front of 26,752

March 20, 2007

SYRACUSE, N.Y. (AP) - Too much Orange for San Diego State.

The largest crowd in NIT history -- an orange-clad swarm of 26,752 -- braved sleet, snow and a biting March wind to give the Carrier Dome a championship atmosphere Monday night, and the Syracuse Orange responded with an 80-64 second-round victory over San Diego State.

For the team's four seniors -- Demetris Nichols, Terrence Roberts, Darryl Watkins and Matt Gorman -- it was their last home game, and they relished every minute.

"We like the fact that we came in here and broke the record," said Roberts. "We're making history. Even though we were put in a bad situation a lot of guys really didn't want to be in, we're making the best of it."

It had been eight days since the NCAA selection committee overlooked Syracuse despite a resume that included a 6-1 record in February and a dominating 14-point victory over Georgetown, the Hoyas only loss in the past 21 games.

That oversight may be in the past. It certainly won't be forgotten.

"It's always going to be in the back of your mind, no matter what you say and no matter how much you try to forget about it," Roberts said. "All we can do now is try to win out."

Syracuse (24-10), the second seed in the South, will play at Clemson (23-10) on Wednesday night in the quarterfinals.

Sixth-seeded San Diego State (22-11) was one of three teams to pull a first-round upset on the road, beating third-seeded Missouri State 74-70.

It was only the second postseason win for the Aztecs in 37 seasons at the Division I level. The streak was short-lived.

Syracuse, clinging to a 38-33 halftime lead, outscored the Aztecs 19-7 to start the second half, finishing the burst with an 11-0 run that gave the Orange a commanding 19-point lead.

"Too many orange in the stands and too much orange on the court against us," San Diego State coach Steve Fisher said. "We fought hard and competed hard, but weren't quite good enough tonight. We were hopeful that we could find a way to make a few more shots, but it just wasn't to be."

Nichols had 20 points and Andy Rautins scored 15. Watkins had eight rebounds and six blocks, and freshman Paul Harris had 12 points and seven rebounds, combining with Eric Devendorf for 10 of the Orange's 21 assists.

Lorrenzo Wade led the Aztecs with 16 points before fouling out with just more than two minutes left, and Mohamed Abukar had 14.

Senior guard Brandon Heath, whose 3-pointer in the final seconds won the Aztecs' first-round game, finished with 15 points and seven assists and shot 3-for-12 on 3-pointers. But he wasn't the big factor he normally is, thanks to the work of the 6-foot-11 Watkins and 6-9 Roberts.

"They definitely let their presence be known in the paint," said Heath. "They did that from start to finish, and that was one of the keys."

So was the crowd, which was both deafening and creative. One sign that was repeatedly held aloft read -- "That would have looked good in the tournament" -- referring to that other affair that will decide the national champion next month in Atlanta.

"We wanted to show our appreciation because they didn't have to come out," said Nichols, who leads the team in scoring at 19 points per game. "They've been great all year. This is a good way to go out for the team and the city. They have been the best fans in the whole country."

Syracuse made nine 3-pointers, outrebounded the Aztecs 49-33, committed only four turnovers in the second half, and stifled the Aztecs with some staunch defense.

That, and the fans, left a smile on head coach Jim Boeheim's face.

"The fans are tremendous and have been for 31 years here," said Boeheim, who turned and applauded when the attendance was announced. "You have to be appreciative how much they were into the game from the beginning."

The previous record crowd for an NIT game was 23,522, set in 1979 when Clemson played at Kentucky.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

For RR...

(Because it makes her happy, that's why!)

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Mindless cuteness...

It's been awhile, so I thought another one of my stupid dog videos (lest my readership begin to experience symptoms of withdrawal). So, without further ado, I present:



Monday, March 12, 2007

Oh, the joys of working for a nonprofit...

This morning I "fixed" my office chair using a combination of electrical and duck tape.

Grammy Pammy just informed me that the proper name is "duct tape" (as opposed to "duck tape"). I, however, prefer "duck" to "duct". I also refer to "pinktails" as "pigtails". I think it has something to do with my love of animals. After all, ducks are cute, while ducts...yeah, not so much.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

On cell phones. And dogs. And cell phones for dogs...

Cell phones for dogs...what's next?!
How sad is it that:

A) this exists?

B) I want one?

Okay, okay. It’s kind of frightening that we live in a time and place where buying a cell phone for your dog is not only possible but also has a viable market among consumers.

That said, have you seen this thing?! It is amazing! Not only does it give a whole new meaning to calling your dog, but it also has a built in GPS system (which can come in quite handy in the event dear Rover gets lost). Additionally, the PetCell includes a sensor that can alert you if your dog becomes too hot or too cold, as well as an attachable collar-cam (incase you want to know exactly how your favorite canine companion spends his day). The dang thing is even water drool-proof! I am tres amused!

I can just imagine having the following cell phone conversation with my dog, Gypsy Kitty:

Me: “Hi, Gypsy. What’s up? How’s the backyard?”

Gypsy Kitty: “Woof! Woof! Woof!”

Me: “Slow down! What do you mean I left the back gate open?!”

Gypsy Kitty: “Woof! Woof! Grrrrr…Woof!”

Me: “What?! The mailman breeched the perimeter?! He was just delivering the mail! How many times do I have to tell you, Gypsy?...The mailman isn’t in cahoots with the mean, fat cat down the block! He just brings mommy her letters and bills!”

Gypsy Kitty: “Grrrrr…Woof! Arf! Woof, Woof! Whimper!”

Me: “Oh, no! You chased him? And now you’re lost?! Gypsy, baby, where are you?! Are you okay?”

Gypsy Kitty: “Whimper, Whimper! Sigh! Whine!”

Me: “You’re scared! Oh, sweetie! Let me turn on your cell phone’s GPS so I can figure out where you are. Is Haskell with you?”

Gypsy Kitty: “Whine, Whimper, Whine!”

Me: “Oh, good! At least you are together.”

Gypsy Kitty: “Whimper! Arf! Grrrrr…”

Me: “Well, tell him that I’m sorry he’s so hungry. It’s only been three hours since I last fed him! Oh, wait…the GPS is working…okay, you’re at the corner of Lindsley and Carroll. I want you to sit down and wait for me there. The monitor says that you are over-heating, so stop moving and try to relax. I’ll be there just as soon as I can.”

Gypsy Kitty: “Whine! Whine! Whine!”

Me: “I’m sorry that a car honked at you, but I’m only five minutes away. I’ll be there soon enough. Just sit tight and tell Haskell to do the same.”

Gypsy Kitty: “Arf! Whimper! Whine!”

Me: “Tell him to hold it! He can pee once he gets back home. I don’t want either of you to move an inch until I get there. Understand?”

Gypsy Kitty: “Bark!”

Me: “Good girl. I’ll be there soon!”

Apparently, the PetCell is do out sometime this year, and will cost upwards of $400. A little too steep for me, considering I work for a nonprofit. However, I’m sure the price will go down once the concept catches on. Yes, that’s right: It is only a matter of time before Lil’ Miss Gypsy Kitty will be sporting her new doggie cell phone at a dog park near you!

(Stop judging me!...You know my dog won’t be the only one!!)

The 'dog model' even LOOKS like Gypsy Kitty!  It's obviously a sign...

Monday, March 05, 2007

Stupid SPAM, Stupid Me...

Hi, I hate to be the one to mention this, but people continue to talk about your weight issue and it just disgusts me. Whether you know it by now, people are always chattering about each other at work but you come up more than enough. I wasn't the happiest or best-fit up until a year ago or so but that did change. Thanks to my dam brother-in-law (of all people). Anyhow, it was for the best.

What I am saying is that you need to do something different and maybe you can make the same difference I did. Try this stuff I used. I took it on the idea it's just more junk but it worked great. I see more positive reviews on it nowadays and makes me feel even better. So, I am encouraging a change, not only in the chatter around here but in you personally.

-Anonymous for now

Using an anonymous email website to send this btw;) When it helps/works just send a memo out with the name "Angel" in it. Then you can take me out to lunch to thank you. Talk to you sooner than later I hope;)

Why is it I always find myself concerned whenever this message appears in my inbox? Am I really SO insecure that I believe:

A) People find my weight “disgusting” to such an extent?
B) My coworkers (all eight of them) spend their free time talking behind my back?

Yet, every time this message pops up, I find myself momentarily drawn into thinking that it is all true. Somehow, one of my coworkers is sending me this note from a fake name and email address. Yeah, I’m far from being skinny, but disgusting? When did this happen? Why did nobody tell me before now?

I guess it is the first sentence that really grabs me, and brings all of my insecurities to the surface. Never mind that I’ve received this email (or some similar version thereof) no less than twenty times in the past week or so. Yet, it still takes my brain a good 5 to 10 seconds do I recognize the message as “SPAM” – 5 to 10 seconds that the rest of my body spends panicking (and thinking about the inherent largeness of my thighs).

No more beauty magazines for me for awhile. Apparently, I need a break from them. Either that or a really good plastic surgeon (liposuction, here I come)!