Sunday, June 30, 2013

June Update...

17 Months = Perpetual Motion.

I feel like I need to have a June update, but I haven't been good about keeping notes on my phone of "things Banner has done lately" or "baby firsts".  So this will just be a hodgepodge of whatever, which - I know - business as usual, right?

When did I become so disorganized?

(Oh, right:  January 4th, 2012.)

I won't find out Banner's "official" stats until his 18 month check up on July 8th, but he is still growing like a weed.  Case in point, below is a picture of him in a 3T outfit: 


I don't know what to do with him. 

Granted, most of his outfits are still 2T, but it blows my mind that those are starting to get snug.  Although, it has been wonderful that he has fit into 2T as long as he has (6 months and counting!).  I'm absolutely loving the whole not-having-to-clean-out-his-closet-every-six-weeks thing, although I'm a little worried that most if not all of his fall/winter attire will be too small by the time they are seasonably appropriate again.  I'm the kind of person that gets attached to clothes and still wears things that I've had since high school (I know:  terrifying).  Partly it is because I'm lazy and hate shopping, and partly because I associate memories with outfits.  It makes me sad that he may never fit into, say, his Superman sweat shirt again. 

Don't worry.  Trevor thinks I am crazy enough for all of you.  Moving on.

Banner is a babbler.  He talks all the time.  Most of it is nonsense, but he definitely has an ever growing vocabulary.  The most recent additions are baby (bay-bee), shoe (goooz), sock, bubble, boat, Amy (ah-meh), Adam (a-da), Mimi, outside (oat-eye), go and move.  He also points to pictures of my father and says, "pop-pop".  No idea where that came from, so we are waiting to see if it sticks.  In a way it works because that is what I called my maternal grandfather.  But I'm pretty sure Buddy is pulling for...well, Buddy.

My kid has also never met a doorknob that he could not open - even the ones at school.  The teachers want to baby proof them, but the school is worried that it might be a fire hazard.  While they figure out a solution, Banner keeps trying to liberate both himself and his classmates from room 7 or go visit their buddies on the other side of the partition in Room 5.  They can't get out of the building, but the hallway is a whole other story.  What am I going to do with him?  As Amy would say, "Bad baby."

Trevor and I have been making one or two meals a week in the slow cooker.  Since we both work full time, this is the easiest way to have something home cooked and ready to go when we get home at the end of the day.  Plus, it generally gives us leftovers for one or two days afterwards, which takes the thought process out of the whole "what's for dinner" conundrum.

Banner has been a bit of a picky eater since he discovered that he had an opinion about six months ago.  Consequently, it has become a bit of a challenge to get him to eat his veggies.  Or meat.  Or even cheese.  I swear, sometimes I wonder if he is my child.  But the glory of the slow cooker meals means I can mix and squish up veggies and chicken and he will eat away until he discovers something hidden and undesirable (mostly broccoli, which I can't blame him for.  Because, ew). 

But some days he changes the rules, and decides things he LOVED last week are completely disgusting.  Like blueberries, for example.  He used to eat so many blueberries that I was worried he was going to pull a Violet Beauregarde and actually turn into one.  However, lately?  He won't touch them.  At all.  It is hard for us parents to keep up.

Banner has, thank goodness, decided that guacamole is acceptable and will lick it off of spoons, chips and crackers all day long.  He used to hate the stuff, so watching him eat it now gives me hope that the pickiness is just a phase.  Because while I love that he will eat tofu, edamame and even some sushi (avocado rolls mostly), it completely baffles me that he turns up his nose at all things Tex-Mex and cheesy.  It seems like it should be the opposite, no?  Little weirdo.
And ginger?  That kid loves him some ginger.  Last time we had sushi, we had to ask for more ginger THREE times. 


Banner still can't jump, but not for lack of trying.  He still LOVES to dance, and even has his own song entitled "Do the Banner Dance" song at school.  I've never seen it in person, but Trevor has and apparently the teachers all sing and clap while Banner shakes his money maker in the middle of a circle of beat bopping toddlers.  Must.  Get.  This.  On. Video.

Also?  His favorite song?  Mah Na Mah Na.  He now randomly shouts it at us, to which we immediately answer with a joyful "do doo be-do-do!"  It is fabulous.

He still could care less about the TV.  I mean, he will glance at it occasionally if we have cartoons or something not-sports related on, but more out of curiosity than real interest.  Now, the computer is something altogether different.  He has learned that he can watch some of his favorite songs via You Tube on there, and is a big fan of singing along.  Thanks to THIS song, Banner now knows most of his animal sounds, and the rest (like monkey saying "who-who-who-he-he-he" we are filling in along the way).  At first I was wary of screen time altogether, but I figure 7-10 minutes (a.k.a. Banner's attention span) every now and again can't hurt.  Plus, I LOVE his little "RWAR!" and "Hisssssss!" 

Other favorites include Life's a Happy Song, This Old Man and, of course, Mah na Mah Na.

Seriously.  I have a whole new level of appreciation for the Internet.  Having these videos easily accessible is a wonderful, wonderful thing.

Banner has learned to kiss.  Most of the time he just presses his lips into your cheek, but Trevor is working with Banner to add the necessary sound effect.  Sweetest thing ever.     

He also all of a sudden has enough hair to brush.  It is actually getting a little long in back, but I don't think we will cut it until the front fills in a little more. In the meantime, he is totally sporting the baby mullet, which I adore even if Amy tells me it looks stupid.  It just seems silly to spend $15 on the milestone first haircut to only have 15 individual long(ish) hairs trimmed.  So we wait.

In other grooming news, I used an emery board on his toenails for the first time yesterday and he insisted on carrying it around with him and "filing his nails" for about half an hour afterwards.  I cannot express how adorable it is to watch your child try to mimic your behavior.  He gets the biggest grin on his face.  He also enjoys trying to comb his hair and brush his teeth. 

We've also had to implement the TIME OUT.  But only once.  Banner understands so much more than we realize, and we figured 18 months was about the right time to start learning about consequences.  It is just for the usual toddler-aged disciplinary things: like pinching, hitting and biting.  I really don't think he does any of these things to be mean.  He just doesn't realize that they hurt other people.  He knows that the word "gentle" means that he needs to tone it down a little bit, but Trevor and I believe that it is high time that he start learning that certain behaviors are unacceptable, too.  Especially since he is so big for his age.  The problem is that Banner is good at home.  He doesn't bite or hit (except sometimes a dog, but it could be just as easily be interpreted as an overzealous pat than a real, intentional smack, though.  Hard to tell).  He DOES pinch, but usually only because he is super excited about seeing the person he is pinching.  It is weird.  Anyway, we had to start somewhere, so here's to hoping it works.  Ever since Trevor had "a talk" with Banner about his behavior, he has been a complete angel at school (at least according to his teachers).  Who knows if it really had an effect or not, but maybe.  I'm not discounting anything out at this point.

Other than that, though, life is good and I'm simply in disbelief that my little guy is already (almost) a year and a half old.  If I've said it once, I've said it a million times:  Where has the time gone?!

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Insert foot in mouth. Or why we don't get asked to many playdates....

On Tuesday morning, Banner and I walked into his classroom, and Abby's mom exclaimed, "Banner!  Look at Abigail!"

So we did. 

Abby was standing in the middle of the classroom next to one of the pint sized couches.

Me:  "Oh! Yay!  She's walking now!"

Abby's mom: [sharply]  "No.  No, she's not."

Me:  "Oh.  Well, she will soon.  Don't worry."

Abby's mom:  "She's 15 months old.  My arms are getting tired of carrying her."

Me:  "She'll do it when she wants.  I think she just enjoys getting waited on.  Banner apparently likes helping push her chair in during meal times and bringing her toys."

Abby's mom:  "Hrmph."

Lesson learned:  Asking if a child is walking when they are not is on par with asking a woman if she is pregnant when she has simply gained a few pounds.  Or wearing a poorly fitting maxi dress.  Like I was on Wednesday evening at a work event when my boss asked me if I was expecting #2.

(To be fair, he was really asking because I had mentioned to him that I wasn't feeling well earlier that day.  But still.)

Sometimes there just isn't enough wine.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

And then there was this...

WTF, autocorrect?

Speaking of "moo pic", what is it and why does my iPhone autocorrect "myopic" to "moo pic" to begin with? 

In an effort to clarify, I Googled "moo pic" and nothing came up except a business card company and a bunch of images of cows.  So this obviously isn't another case like "jeggings" in which I am simply unfamiliar with something that EVERYONE else on the planet knows about.  My iPhone simply has a mind and vocabulary of its own.

It is mildly terrifying, really.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Dear Trevor,

Your Favorite Catastrophist

Thursday, June 20, 2013

ET calls home...

While watching the NBA finals tonight, Trevor and I saw this:

That lake?  The one the guy is diving into?  That is HERE.  Ice Lakes Basin.  Where I tricked convinced Trevor into quit smoking a decade ago.  Where he proposed in 2008.  

Honestly, I can't tell you how many times we've hiked up there.  This blog is littered with images from our visits over the years.  Even my Blogger profile picture was taken overlooking the lower basin.  Just seeing it brings back so many memories.  To say it is our special place is a gross understatement.  That basin, at least to me, simply IS us.  

Now it is in a commercial.  An ad both Trevor and I saw for the first time tonight.  Just weeks before we should be going back on what can only be described as our annual pilgrimage...home.  

And yet, we aren't going to Colorado this year.  We have other plans.  Plane reservations even. 
To Wyoming.

But?  It is kind of weird, isn't it?  To see the place you should be going to when you know you aren't going there at all?  Especially when we WERE planning on going there as recently as a month ago.  Before things changed unexpectedly.  Before we weren't going there anymore.  At least not this year.

60 seconds and I'm left reeling and questioning everything.

This is why I shouldn't watch basketball.  Just sayin.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

It has been one of those days...

Within moments of arriving at work today, I managed to spill yogurt down the front of my shirt.  I'm not sure I could duplicate what happened if I wanted to.  And, for the record, Chobani with honey has no business being in my bra.  Just sayin'.

(Not to mention he fact that hours later I am still sticky and now smell mildly of spoiled milk.)

The cleanup resulted in the front of my shirt being oh-so obviously damp for most of the morning, which is highly distracting.  Especially, when coworkers, volunteers or interns stop by for impromptu meetings or interoffice chit chats.  And no matter how much I have attempted to get the yogurt off the front of my gray, V-neck, there are still random crusty, white splotches here and there that make me feel like strangers might think something else (a la Monica Lewinsky) is going on up in here.  Which, OMG, no, no, NO! 

Also, ew.

Although once I get an inappropriate thought like that in my head, it is difficult to get it out.  This sort of explains why I haven't left my office except to grab coffee, heat up my leftover soup and use the facilities.  We wouldn't want The Yogurt to give The Public the wrong impression.

Speaking of coffee and lunch, I also managed to spill BOTH on my shirt as well as about half a glass of water.  I guess I'm glad I didn't have time to run home and change.  Apparently, today is just a day 'o' spills.  Liquids are loving the gray, V-neck.  Which I guess is okay since this particular top is easily laundered. 

I just hope whatever is going on (cosmically?) clears up by tomorrow, because I have to wear a dress and heals.  And the klutzy I am on a regular basis is usually nothing compared to the walking disaster I become when I've actually made some sort of effort. 

I'm most likely doomed.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Between Babies: The finale...

From: Nathan
Date: June 8, 2013, 12:29:38 PM CDT
To: Banner
Subject: Help me out, please.

Hi Banner,

How are things going?  Man, I've been having tons of fun lately.

Tanner and I hatched a plan to escape from our room at daycare this week.  We decided we were tired of being in the same room with the other babies who cannot crawl yet.  So, we figured we could spend the afternoons watching the fish and visiting the toddler rooms to see which one we wanted to join.  Tanner and I had it all figured out, we had been practicing how to work those door knobs at home  for days.  Then, on the day we were set to spring out of the place, we decided to check the door and  Ms. Stacy saw Tanner open the door, oops!  Then she blocked it with the exersaucer.  Drat.  Out plan was foiled.  The door has been blocked ever since.  We need a new plan.

Oh, I got a birthday cake and balloons for my birthday.  Mom made we a special vegan cake because milk makes my tummy hurt.  It was nice of her to do that, but it didn't taste very good.  The balloons, on the other hand, we're lots of fun.  You can hit them and pull them and all sorts of things and they just fall up!  It's incredibly funny.  However, balloons outside are no good.  The wind nocks them all over the place.  I don't care for that, it's too frightening.  So, other than yucky cake and the wind knocking my balloons around, I really liked turning one.

I'm still not sure about walking, though. It seems complicated.  I am going to stick with crawling for a little longer.  But, I think it's neat that you figured out how to run.  My mom is talking about getting rid of my bottles, Banner.  I don't know that she's thought this plan through.  She must think that I'm just going to stop drinking milk all of a sudden.  Crazy talk.  There is so much that I find I need to teach my parents.  Were your parents this confused on you, too?

Anyway, it's past my nap time so I better go. Take it easy, Banner.


From: Nathan
Date: June 17, 2013, 10:03:59 PM CDT
To: Banner
Subject: Oh no!


Tanner and I were punished for trying to escape from our room in daycare today.  They sent us both to a new room for a time out this afternoon.  There were all kinds of new kids in this room.  I didn't like it, there were too many people.  I was afraid that my mom and dad would never find me there when they came to pick me up.  Plus, they didn't have any of my bottles there.  I just wanted out.  After a couple of hours, they finally let us go back.  I was so relieved that I fell asleep eating.  That was the worst time out ever.  I learned my lesson.  I won't try to escape from daycare again.


Operation Only Grandchild: Take Two

Remember THIS story from Memorial Day Sunday?

Well, tonight, Amy asked for a kiss before bath time, and Banner walked over as if to oblige her request.  But at the last second, he reached into his diaper and presented her with a handful of poo instead.  Then seemed completely surprised and demoralized when she shrieked and ran away.

Part of me is horrified and the other part is kind of like, "Well done, Banner.  Well done."  Because five minutes later, while I was drawing his bath, Banner streaked into the living room naked as the day he was born.  He ran towards his Auntie Amy with a giant smile on his face.

And you know what she said?

"Ew!  Go Away!"

The smile melted away, he started to sob and my pint sized poo-giver ran to me in the bathroom and hugged my leg like he thought I might not want him anymore either.

(We've been trying to convince Amy for awhile that Banner understands much more than she realizes.)

Amy tried to apologize, but it took awhile.  Banner made sure to make her suffer and sulked in the tub while I scrubbed him down and tried to get him to play with his boats.

I'm pretty sure that means that Banner won.  After all, how often can you hand poo to someone and have them begging for your forgiveness a mere ten minutes later?

It's weird, but I'm pretty sure that makes my kid kind of awesome.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Happy Father's Day, Trev!

Because Banner already knows he wants to 
grow up to be just like his daddy! 

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Because it is one thing to be a contender for the Darwin Award. It is something else entirely to take your children down with you.

Ya'll.  I am so angry.

I had to go over to my sister's early this morning.  Her alarm has been malfunctioning and went off several times in the middle of the night.  She's out of town, and I'm number two on the security company's call list.  I asked the alarm company to put her system on "test" until 10 AM, so I could get some sleep and head over there after Banner was awake and fed.

So, around 9 AM, I got into the car while Banner and Trevor were busy watching The Animal Sounds Song on You Tube.  Amy lives only about a mile away, so nothing about my journey took very long.

I exited off the main road onto her street, and slowed down for the narrow, 90 degree turn that her street makes about a tenth of a mile into her residential neighborhood.  There are always cars parked along this curve, and I drive a SUV.  It is impossible to take this turn going faster than 15 miles per hour (at least in my car), and I'm not just saying that because of the following story.  It is just one of those sharp turns.  I know it is there and it is difficult to see any other cars coming in the other direction.  It is simply necessary to slow down when approaching it.

And it is a good thing I did, because walking down the middle of the street on the far side of the curve was a gaggle of mothers and their children.

Again.  They were WALKING.  Down the MIDDLE of the EFFING street.  With their children.

I counted seven mothers.  Each pushing a stroller with at least one kid in it.  Several even had an infants in Bjorns strapped to their chests.

At first I didn't think very much of it.  I pulled up behind one of the parked cars along the wide end of the curve and slowed to a stop to let them all pass.  And that is when one of the mothers, wearing a long, black, strapless maxi dress, walked over to my car, banged on my driver's side window and shouted, "You need to slow down when driving through OUR neighborhood.  There are children here!"

Like I couldn't see them all standing there in the middle of the road.

But I said nothing.  Just stared back at her and blinked.

Never in my life have I wanted to yell at someone so much.  And I probably would have if there hadn't been at least ten children under the age of three with her and her other mom friends.  Because regardless of the fact that I was driving about 5 miles per hour under the max speed of most school zones in the City of Dallas, these moms were intentionally walking their children down the middle of the street right before what is essentially a blind curve.  What if I hadn't been familiar with the turn?  What if I was driving a sportier, turn-loving car?  What if Amy didn't live only a few houses down from this particular bend in the road?  What if I had been speeding?  Or not paying attention?  They all could have been plowed over like bowling pins!

Not to mention the fact that these moms were teaching their kids that it is acceptable to walk down the middle of the street in an area with perfectly good sidewalks on both sides of the block.  And I'm typing this knowing full well that there are parts of my neighborhood where I have no choice but to push the stroller in the street.  But it is always by necessity, not choice.  And owing to the fact that I don't want to get hit by a car, I always hug the curb.  It would never occur to me to march my baby down the middle of the road meant for vehicular traffic like that, nor would I ever feel comfortable doing so in the first place - especially so close to a curve where I can't see oncoming traffic or they me.

Instead of saying any of this to the b*tch in the black maxi dress, though, I just stared at her and waited for them to pass before coasting to Amy's house to deal with the alarm situation.  I'm pretty sure I had visible steam coming out of my ears.

This is one situation where I wish I was better with confrontation, because - the more I think about it - those mothers needed to hear that what they are doing is needlessly reckless and stupid.  They are taking unnecessary risks with their children just so they can walk in a horizontal line down the middle of a road.  I'm sure it is easier to talk and socialize that way, but is it really worth it?

And then for her to have the gall to bang on my car window and call me out?  For what?  Driving?  In the road meant for cars, not playgroups?

Maybe it is just me, but this is one of those situations where I wish I could go back in time and give her a piece of my mind.  If for no other reason than it might resonate with one of the other mothers and convince her to use the bleeping sidewalk.  Because, really?  That is what they are there for.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

My little fish...

Banner started swimming lessons on Monday.  Technically, his first lesson was last Thursday, but they will be most Monday mornings from here on out this summer.  Other than learning to swim, the weekly lessons will also allow my mom spend some quality time one-on-one with her grandson while I get a chance to run across the street to the gym. 

Speaking of pools and babies:  Am I the only one that has very little faith in swim diapers?  Because I'm pretty sure if Banner pooped, the entire pool would have to be evacuated and drained regardless of whatever precautions I had taken in advance.  I have both the disposable and reusable kinds, but have only ever used the reusable baby speedo diaper.  Luckily, Banner hasn't felt the urge to, ahem, "test" any of his diapers in the pool to date.  I just don't see how any of these devices can possibly work well with poop on the line.  But maybe I just have trust issues.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Arboretum with my boys...

Sunday morning dawned with heavy rain, wind and thunder.  Banner slept in until after nine, and it was so wonderful to listen to the sound of the rain on the roof while still snuggled in bed.

When the B-Man finally started to stir, however, I went to the kitchen to let the dogs out, and noticed that the morning air was cool and breezy.  Something exceptionally rare around these parts in (almost) the middle of June.  Wanting to soak up the last bit of spring before summer arrived later that afternoon, we were dressed and at the Arboretum less than an hour later.
Because spring/early summer is one of the busiest times of the year for me at the museum, poor Banner has only been to the Arboretum two or three times since April, and not with his daddy since we initially purchased the membership back in February.  It is amazing to me to realize just how much he has grown and developed in four short months.  He is leaps and bounds more coordinated, inquisitive and active at seventeen months than he was at thirteen months.  I know this seems like an obvious development, but it still blows my mind how fast my baby has grown and changed over the course of the spring.  And nothing seemed to exemplify this more to me than the fact that we left both the stroller and the wagon at home and simply let Banner loose to run around the grounds for nearly TWO HOURS.
Have I mentioned my son has A LOT of energy?  It is getting harder and harder to wear his little tush out!
Banner called the horse apple a "Bapple".
He thought it was a "ball" but we kept calling it an "apple".
Bapple was a nice compromise.
We visited the little houses, but didn't stay long (it was super muddy thanks to all the rain).  Plus, Banner lost his balance trying to take off his hat, and fell into a thorny rose bush.  The back of his little arm was all scratched up, but he hardly cried at all.  He obviously has my pain tolerance.  Trevor would have required a morphine shot.

We walked around the main part of the Arboretum, stopping every few minutes to splash in fountains, climb up and down stairs and chase squirrels and bunnies.  I don't know if the garden animals normally allow people to get so close to them, but Banner greatly enjoyed giving them chase around (and through) many of the beds.  We even saw a highly annoyed raccoon who was chased out of his tree by a group of three highly pissed off squirrels.  Poor thing looked so grumpy (so would I if I had been so rudely roused from a deep sleep in the middle of the night day!) as he stomped off into the bushes.

We ended our morning at the giant frogs playing in the water.  Banner was fascinated by the fountain and loved splashing around and getting wet.  I think he could have happily played there for hours.  He is turning into such a little water bug.  I have a feeling that in a few years, every spare summer moment will be spent in, near or on the water.
My boys.

It was a good day.

Monday, June 10, 2013

My little monkey when to the zoo (again)...

Let me start of this post by saying that I've never actually used the baby leash.  I received it as a gag present (along with THIS little gem) from one of my college besties when I was pregnant, but it hadn't even been out of the closet (much less the box) until ten days ago.  And even then it was my mom and sister who used it.  I'm torn between the whole "OMG, my baby is on a a dog!" and "OMG, my baby NEEDS a leash...just like a dog!" 
It is very confusing.
Honestly, I see nothing wrong with the baby leash, and Banner loves it.  Plus, in a crowd, I can see how it definitely has its advantages.  Banner has reached an age where he wants to run around and explore.  In a non linear fashion while weaving in and out of traffic at top speed.  He isn't interested in holding hands or being carried.  He'll tolerate the stroller, but only for about seven minutes.  The child only stops moving when he is asleep, and is completely fearless (except when it comes to giant, metal elephants at the zoo). 

Dragging Grammy Pammy around the zoo.
I'm actually convinced the baby leash was invented for toddlers like Banner.  People who judge other parents for using leashes have either never had toddler or weren't blessed with a pint sized version of The Flash.
Plus, I'm all for keeping Banner safe.  If that involves a baby leash, so be it.
(And I totally say that now, but - again - have yet to use the thing myself.  I am such a wimp.  Why do I care what other people think?!)
Anyhoo, on June 1st, Grammy Pammy and Auntie Amy took Banner to the Dallas Zoo for some sort of evening fundraiser.  He got to feed the giraffes, pet goats, go on pony AND camel rides, play in the zoo's water features and eat a variety of cookies and popsicles that would have never been allowed if mommy had been there.
I really can't complain, though, because he was returned to me completely exhausted and slept until nearly 10 AM the next day.  Say whaaaaaat?!
All in all, it sounds like the little guy had much more fun this time around than he did back in November.  Mobility makes all the difference in the world.
Here are some pictures of Banner's second trip to the zoo:

Finally big enough to ride the pony.

He LOVED this car and threw a little fit when it was time to move on.

He rode the camel TWICE.

Sunday, June 09, 2013

RIP orange scrubby thingy...

Back story:  Amy came over to play with Banner in the backyard, and had some sort of weird allergic reaction to sitting in the grass.  After itching miserably for an hour, she jumped in our shower to rinse off before heading out to grab dinner before the Game of Thrones season finale. 

Later, Trevor takes a shower and notices that my poof (pouf?  What are those things called?) was ripped and torn like it had been mauled by a pack of rabid garden snails.  Hence...

Friday, June 07, 2013

Memorial Day Recap...

I was going to post an entire entry summing up Memorial Day, but - dude - that was almost two weeks ago.  When did I get so behind?  And why can't I catch up?


But there was ONE story from the long weekend that I want to be sure and remember, because it is the kind of childhood gold that gets repeated decades later at college graduations and rehearsal dinners.  It goes a little something like this:

On Sunday, May 19th, we invited Banner's aunts and uncles that were in Dallas over to grill in the backyard.  We made copious amounts of guacamole, listened to the Ranger's beat the Detroit Tigers on the radio and watched my baby streak around half naked the yard.  I even got stung by a wasp, and chased two Benadryl with a glass of wine.  It was that kind of fabulous. 

Thanks to all the antibiotics he was on last month, Banner was suffering from a pretty bad diaper rash and we figured running around sans diaper might give the area an opportunity to air out a bit.  Plus, Amy had bought him an inflatable wading pool, and who really wants to deal with a swim diaper?

(Famous last words, right?!)

Honestly, I wasn't really concerned about...ahem, "party fouls", because Banner had taken THREE massive poops earlier that day.  He only weighs 27 pounds, and I figured there could only be so much in there.

(You can see where this is going, can't you?)

Banner happily ran around in nothing but a sun shirt for hours without incident before unceremoniously pooping in the pool.  This created quite the stir as Amy drained the water, Allison wiped his little hiney and I picked up all his bath toys and washed them in a bucket of water and bleach.  We were in the process of filling up the pool again, when I looked over just in time to see my son squat down and poop in the yard.  LIKE A DOG.  Trevor was called in to deal with this one.  Except, upon further investigation, multiple piles were discovered all over the yard.  He'd been at this for awhile.

After everything had calmed down a bit, Allison, Amy and I were talking while Banner - now presumably several pounds lighter - continued to run around the yard sans pants.  Since we were all sitting in the shade, Banner ventured over and started handing us all various things he found on the ground (sticks, small rocks, leaves, etc.).  And that's when he handed his aunt Allison something warm, brown and damp.

Need I say more?

If Banner never has any first cousins to play with, I'm sure we will all be able to trace it back to Memorial Day weekend 2013.  My child was like a walking, talking and pooping advertisement for birth control. 

Here are some other pictures of my baby (NOT POOPING) to remember the long weekend by:

"Driving" the cart at Whole Foods.

Eating at the dinning room table like a big boy.

Listening to live music at the Memorial Day picnic at the DCC
(He LOVED it and kept dancing and waving at the musicians on stage)

Baby's first clown