Banner: "Mama, what's this?"
Me: "A raisin, buddy."
Banner: "No, it's a jellybean!"
Me: "Sure it is."
(Note: it was a raisin.)
Banner (On first Friday's): "That was really fun. I had a good time tonight."
Banner: "Because he's fat."
Mr. Garcia: "Who know what month starts on Wednesday?"
Banner: "Saturday!"
Banner: "But why do I have to have quiet time?"
Me: "Because we were out late last night and mommy needs to do some things before we can go to the splash park."
Banner: "Like what?"
Me: "Like mama needs to bathe the dogs and feed your baby sister."
Banner: "And daddy needs to watch tv?"
Me: "Yes. Exactly."
Banner: "Oh. Okay."
Trevor: "Well that's unfair."
Me: "Hey, truth flows from the mouths of babes, Trev."
On how I dress:
Banner: "Mama, I don't like your shirt."
Me: "Thanks, buddy."
Banner: "Mama! You are wearing a dress!"
Me: "Why are you so excited?"
Banner: "Mama, you no like jeans anymore?"
Me: "I just wanted to wear these pants today, buddy. They are very comfy."
Banner: "Oh."
Me: "Do you like these pants?"
Banner: "No. I actually like your jeans better and I no like jeans!"
Banner: "Whatcha going to wear to dinner?"
Me: "What do you think would look nice?"
Banner: "Honestly, a blue dress."
Banner [horrified]: "Mama! You left the house with your jammies on?!"
Me: "These actually aren't my jammies, but thanks buddy."
Scene: I was pumping. Mimi arrived and opened front door. Alley ran out front door. Haskell chased Alley. Banner chased Haskell. Mimi chased Banner, and Rue Anna chased Mimi. Then all returned in reverse order. It was awesome.
Banner: "Mommy, I love you."
Me: "Aw, thanks, buddy. I love you too."
Banner: "Daddy. I tell mommy I love her. Can I watch tv now?"
On Chewbaca:
Banner: "Chewbaca no turn into a mermaid anymore."
Banner: "Who's that?"
Trev: "Chewbaca."
Banner: "Mr. Chewbaca lives in a cave?"
Trev: "I think he lives in a tree."
Banner: "No! Mr. Chewbaca isn't a monkey."
Trev: "Well, he isn't a bear either."
 |
| Watching Harry Potter. |
Banner: "Mama? You sad?"
Me: "No, baby. I just hurt."
Banner: "Here I sing you a song to make you feel better: row, row, row your boat...
Feel better now?"
Me: "Yes, baby. You fixed everything."
Banner: "Ok. If you hurt more later, I'll sing you the abc song."
Banner: "I thirsty."
Me: "Go to bed."
Banner: "But I'm thirsty."
Trev: "Buddy, the last time we gave you water after bedtime, you wet the bed."
Banner: *after long pause* "Oh. Okay. Goodnight daddy."
Trev [to me]: "He couldn't refute that argument."
Banner: "Mama! I want Santa clause to go trick or treating at my tree house and bring me a present."
Me: "Buddy, it is summertime. Santa only comes when it is cold outside."
Banner: "Last week?"
Me: "No, in December."
Banner: "Maybe the mermaids make it 'cember because Santa say 'ho ho ho'?"
Me: "I don't know, bud."
Banner: "Why?"
Me: "I'm going to start with 'it is July'."
Banner: "Oh, okay."
Banner: "That's CEO but Burp calls her 'coo-coo'."
Trevor: "Coco."
Banner: "Whaaaat?"
Trevor: "Coco, not coo-coo."
Banner: "Oh."
Me: *coughing fit while driving*
Banner: "Mama, stop singing!"
Banner: "But it is never my birthday! My birthday has slowed down!"
Banner (to lady in locker room at swim class): "Come look at my baby sister because she so cute!"
Banner: "I like this song!"
Me: "Me, too, buddy. I like Tom Petty."
Banner: "I like Thomas the Train and Charlie Bacala!"
Banner: "Mama, there are three girls and two boys."
Me: "Good job, buddy!"
Trevor: "How about Haskell?"
Banner: "Three boys and three girls!"
Me: "Don't forget Alley and Gypsy!"
Banner: "Three boys and a whole lot of girls!"
During the opening theme song for Sunday night football of the 2015 season...
Me: "Banner, who do you like this season? The Cowboys or the Eagles?"
Banner: "The Eagles!"
Trevor: "Hey!"
Me: "That's my boy!"
Schafer: FIRST LAUGH EVER
(At least she is amused by us!)
Banner: "Sharing is caring, mama."
Banner: "Mama, I need to bring something for fall day. Like a leaf. Or a coconut."
Banner: "Mama. Everyone's car is working. Except yours."
Me: "I think you and your sister are the best."
Banner: "We are awesome."
Me: "Totally awesome."
Banner: "Probably awesome huge, too."
Me: "Probably."
 |
| What he wears to grocery shop. |
Upon walking into class and seeing all the girls dressed for dance class...
Banner: "Mama, I can't turn into a girl, right?"
Banner: "Mama, I no going to be a gangster when I grow up because I no have the right clothes."
Banner: "Daddy, you are so shady."
Banner: "Mama, I can't find my cape!"
Me: "Have you looked for it?"
Banner: "No."
Me: "Well, we've identified problem number one."
Banner (randomly): "Mama, I will always love you."
Banner: "Daddy? You like milk?"
Trevor: "Yes, I like milk."
Banner: "Mommy no like milk. Mommy like wine."
Me: "Wait a minute."
Me: "I love you, buddy."
Banner: "I don't like yellow pickles."
Me: "Good to know."
Overheard while the Nick Jonas song "I still get jealous" was playing on the radio:
Banner (singing his own version of the lyrics): "I'm still in trouble..."
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