Bad oranges, chamomile and big, yellow boxes of corn starch...

Yesterday, I ate bad oranges.

To be fair, I had just consumed Greek yogurt.  Citrus after dairy always tastes weird.

But then I saw the mold and...well, you know.

I'll spare you the details, but - suffice it to say - there were several trips to the bathroom to purge myself of said oranges.  Which sounds awful, but really wasn't.  I wasn't even nauseous.  It may have even been psychosomatic.  I ate moldy fruit.  I was disgusted.  My body took care of it.  Problem solved.  The end.

In fact, my biggest fear was that one of my coworkers would overhear and mistakenly assume I was suffering from morning sickness.  Which, no.  I'm most definitely not.

In other news, Banner has been suffering from terrible diaper rash.  He is on amoxicillin to treat his double ear infection, and it has caused a whole host of tummy-related misery.  We've worked with the pediatrician's office to adjust the dosage (amount, timing, etc.) with some success, but he is still having some issues in the "stool" department.  To put it bluntly for all the nonparents out there:  diarrhea begets diaper rash.  Especially when it lasts FOR DAYS.

Seriously.  Don't say I never taught you anything.

Anyway, the diaper rash went from bad to worse in a matter of days, and my poor baby started screaming like we were burning him with fiery hot pokers whenever we broke out the wipes.

And then he stopped sleeping.  Because whenever he peed, it burned, but fixing the problem involved the use of wipes AND OMG.

Available at your local Fiesta Market.

But don't worry.  Things are looking up thanks to our fabulous babysitter.  My friend, Ashley, has been swearing by Molly's "miracle cure for diaper rash" for MONTHS, but it wasn't until yesterday that I actually became desperate enough to call my babysitter and BEG for her to come over and work her magic.  And work it she did.  Twenty-four hours, two chamomile baths and a day's worth of diapers FULL of Fecula de Maiz and Banner is now diaper rash free.

Even day care is impressed, which is awesome considering the questioning looks Trevor got from Lupe when he dropped Banner off with a box of corn starch this morning.  Ebony even asked where we got the Maizena that afternoon because she wanted to get a box for her 13 month old daughter.  She was THAT impressed.

So, Banner now has a permanent yellow box of corn starch sitting next to his diaper changing caddy both at home and school, and is a much happier little boy because of it.

Don't diss it until you've tried it, folks.  Or, like us, become too desperate not to.  Because it cleared Banner's bootie up so fast that I was left feeling very guilty for not calling Molly much, much sooner.

Poor baby.

And, just in case you are wondering, Molly swears that you don't get the same result if you use other kinds of corn starch or manzanilla.  It has to be the brands listed above.  But don't worry.  They are super inexpensive.  I bought two boxes of Maizena and ten bags of chamomile for under $13 at Fiesta.  A one pound jar of Desitin at Babies R Us retails for $13.99 online.

So, yeah, in the words of Charlie Sheen circa 2011:  WINNING.