Monday, January 28, 2013

Warning: Pity Party below...

Sorry I've been MIA.  I started to feel like a broken record with posts about being sick all the time.  Which, of course, means that I got sick again on Thursday.  I wasn't going to say anything about it this time, because it is embarrassing to admit it when your immune system goes on some sort of semi-permanent holiday.

It is just that I am generally a healthy person.  I've been at the museum since 2004, and have never used all of my allotted sick time in a given year.  Even last year with all the day care bugs, I still managed to let 1.5 expire.  But 2013 JUST started, and I've already gone through a third of my sick days.  It simply blows my mind.

Granted, I've only used half a day so far for my own illnesses.  The rest have all been Banner-related.  But that is simply the "luck" of falling ill on the weekends and over the New Year holiday.

It has gotten so bad that my doctor actually drew blood on Thursday and tested it for everything from viruses to vitamin deficiency to kidney and liver function to anemia to leukemia.  But everything (thank goodness) came back normal.  In fact, the only things that were revealed are that my body seems to be fighting some sort of nasty infection and I'm dehydrated.  Which, considering that I came in on Thursday with what I assumed to be a nasty case of food poisoning, really isn't all that surprising.

The thing is, though, I've been running a low grade fever since my fever broke from whatever I had last weekend.  Nothing too high, but just enough (between 99.9 and 100.9) to make me feel just...well, crappy.  And, of course, the stomach problems have been adding insult to injury since they began early Thursday morning.

I'm simply tired of all the sore throats, coughing, pounding headaches and night sweats.  I'm sick of being stuck in bed and trying my best to choke down saltines and Gatorade.  Heck, I'm just sick of being sick.

I miss sleeping next to my husband, who has possibly slept more nights on our couch than in bed with me this month.  Poor Trevor has had to do more than his fair share of parenting lately, and I know that taking care of a one year old is hard enough without a chronically sick wife to worry about.  I've tried my best to help out, but I know I'm not fooling anyone.  Taking care of the baby requires energy, and I simply do not have any.

But, mostly, I ache for my Banner.  It has been weeks since I felt well enough to chase after him and play.  I'm missing so much.  Trevor says on Saturday, Banner crawled over to the couch, grabbed a blanket and dragged it back over to where his daddy was lying on the floor.  Then, without any prompting, Ban curdled up next to his father, pulled the blanket up to his chin, snuggled in and fell asleep.  AND I MISSED IT.

I've been joking that Banner is going to forget who I am, but I didn't really mean it.  But this morning, Trevor brought him to me for a goodbye hug, and Ban started to cry.  He didn't stop until he was back in his father's arms.

It just about killed me.

If there is any good in any of this, it is the 8-10 pounds that I've lost since Christmas.  Although, I'm not sure I'd recommend "The I'm Sick Diet" to anyone out there.  Still, if there is a silver lining, there it is.


Anonymous said...

Frowny face. I don't know if it helps, but I was sick ALL THE TIME when Evan was an infant through around a year to 18 months (even if he wasn't sick). They're carriers...little adorable, loveable germ carriers.

Hang in there.


Deals On Wheels said...

Thanks Rena. I know it will get better. It is just frustrating in the here and now. Have an appointment with an internist tomorrow. Here's hoping I'm on the mend!

That corgi :) said...

hope you can get some results from the doctor when you see him, but don't beat yourself up because you can't spend the time with Banner right now; he will do just fine and even though right now he tends to want your husband, that will switch back and forth throughout his life, even without periods of sickness, so don't despair too much of it. I just hope you feel better soon!


RR said...

I'm so sorry you're sick! I have also been sick since Thursday, but mine does *not* involve digestive issues. I've had coughing, fever, sinus congestion that makes me want to puke, and sore throat, but no digestive troubles whatsoever. Now that I've read your post, I feel so much better about myself. After all, it could be worse; I could have what you have. Poor Deals! Feel better soon!
p.s. Wish I'd read your post sooner. I would have texted you, from one at-home-sick person to another.