Saturday, August 22, 2015

Banner quotes, Durango Edition...

Yes, we did go to Durango this summer.  With Banner, it took us months to work up the courage to travel with a baby.  With Schafer, however, we are all over the place.  It helped greatly that we had to travel to Arkansas for William and Claire's wedding when Schaf was a mere seven weeks old.  It is amazing what you can accomplish when you tell yourself that missing an important family event isn't an option.

Of course, I nearly had a meltdown when the EPA released 3 million gallons of toxic water down the Animas less than a week before we were scheduled to arrive.  Never figured our attempt at a relaxing family vacation would involve me showering only ONCE in ten days (or "bathing" Banner in the hot tub for that matter), but somehow it worked.

My mom joined us on our trip.  Originally, it was only supposed to be the five of us, but Scott came down from Denver for a few days as well as my aunt and cousin from San Diego.  So much fun even if it was overshadowed by a river (and the creek directly behind my mother's cabin) running orange with a toxic heavy metal sludge.

Because of my nursing/pumping schedule, there wasn't a whole lot of hiking this summer.  That said, we did make it to Spud Lake and the waterfall on the Cascade Creek Trail (I even pumped and fed Schafer just below the bridge about 2.5 miles in!).  Of course, I'm pretty sure the weight of my breast pump is the reason my cousin, Lindsey, temporarily dislocated her knee on the hike back to the car.  Luckily, she was okay, and she made it back to the van on her own two feet without being carried.  Thank goodness I insisted we drive the van 3/4ths of the way up the four wheel drive road.  True, we almost got stuck, but almost doesn't count when having it means your cousin-who-just-carried-your-breast-pump-for-miles-and-hurt-her-knee-in-the-process doesn't have to walk any further than necessary.

Thanks for going along with me on that, Trevor!

(He was the one driving.)

For the record, it is so weird to be tied to a machine, but nursing, for Schafer, has a soporific effect.  She never seems to get enough unless I give it to her in a bottle.  Plus, like last time, I'm a producer.  Nothing like a case of mastitis (like I had following William and Claire's wedding) to make me appreciate the need to fully empty my boobs every three hours.

My new favorite thing is Banner's quote log on my iPhone.  Three year olds are hysterical.  Here are some of my favs from our summer vacation:

Banner: "Jeep, you have a long head."
GP: "Never been accused of that before."

Totally should have bought this shirt...

Banner: "Jeep? You picking your nose?"
GP: "No! You shouldn't pick your nose. You can pick your friends but you shouldn't pick your nose."
Banner: "And you should never pick your friends nose because it might make their nose bleed."

Banner [on doing a puzzle]: "But Jeep! I'm doing the little sh*ts!" ("Sh*ts" is Banner for "chicks").

Banner: "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! I found the tree!"
Trev: "Did it go missing?"

Trevor: "Who is the biggest person here?"
Banner: "Me."
Trevor: "Okay, let's think about this. Who has the bigger hand?"
Banner: "My hand is the little one."
Trevor: "So if your hand is the little one and my hand is the big one, who is the biggest one here?"
Banner: "Me."

GP: "You are so photogenic."
Me: "Woman! I'm your clone!"
Banner: "Mama? You the woman?"
Me: "No, the other woman is The Woman."
Banner: "Daddy?"

Banner: "Sh*t monkeys where are you?" ("Sh*t Monkeys" is Banner for "chipmunk". It later became the "sh*tmunks".  Honestly, not sure which is my favorite.)

GP: "There is no reason to be afraid of chipmunks, Banner. To them, you are a monster."
Banner: "No, I'm not! I'm a good guy!"

Trevor [yelling to banner who had ran up the trail]: "Let us know if you see any bears!"
Banner: "Okaaaaay!"

Banner: "I'm going to help you!"
GP: "No, that's okay. I don't need any help."
Banner: "Oh, yes you do."

What happens when the bounce house is taken over by girls.
Banner is the one sitting in the corner "observing".

Banner: "You ready for me to turn the page yet?"
GP: "No, not really."
Banner: "Turning the page now..."

GP: "If you keep your eyes peeled, Banner, you might see a bear."
Banner: "There no bears here!"
GP: "Oh, yes there are!"
Banner: "Jeep, there no bears here because they have no cars!"
Me: "Yeah, Jeep. Duh."

Banner (crying): "Jeep! Jeep! Jeep! Daddy gave me a kiss but he was dirty!"

Me: "Which super hero are you? Captain America?"
Banner: "No, mama! I Bruce Banner!"
Me: "Oh, right! Goodnight, Bruce."
Banner: "Mama, I no Bruce Banner yet because I'm still little. I'll be Bruce Banner when I'm big."
Me: "When will that be?"
Banner: "Next week."

Banner: "Last year I falled down the stairs and broke my goldfish cup."
Me: "Banner, that wasn't last year. That was Tuesday."

My heart and soul.

Banner: "Where's my baby sister?"
Trevor: "We decided to leave her at the restaurant."
Banner: "Nooooooooooooooo!"
Me: "Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding! She's in daddy's arms!"
Banner: "Don't leave my baby sister! I love her!"
Me: "I know! We'd never leave either of you!"
Trevor: "What happened?"
Me: "Don't joke about leaving his sister."
Trevor: "Oh."
Me: "Although, I'm glad to know he cares."

Trevor: "Banner! Tell mommy what we saw while she was in the store."
Banner: "Mama! We saw...we saw...something."
Me: "Wow."

Trevor: "Tell Jeep what you saw while she was in the store."
Banner: "Deer!"
GP: "Where?"
Banner: "By the road!"
Trevor: "How many?"
Banner: "Three!"
Trevor: "How many babies?"
Banner: "Two!"
Trevor: "How many mamas?"
Banner: "One!"
Trevor: "How many daddies?"
Banner: "Uh.  No many."

Trevor: "It's poker."
GP: "And he might just poke you."
Me: "Whoa, mom."

In middle of intense thunderstorm...
Trevor (jokingly): "Banner, want to run around outside with a golf club?"

About five minutes later after a particularly loud clap of thunder...
Trevor: "Where you going, buddy?"
Banner: "Going to get a golf club."
Everyone: "No!"

Headed to Trimble Hot Springs for our only bath/shower in ten days.

Girls at ice cream shop: "Hi!"
Banner: "Hi! I got a Jeep!"

Tish: "Wonder who the fastest gun in the west was?"
Banner: "Me!"
Tish: "Was it Billy the Kid?"
Banner: "No! It was me! I'm the fastest guy in the west!"

Banner: "But I don't want my skin to be breaked open!"

Lady at Beeville: "Is that a superman shirt you are wearing?"
Banner (proudly): "I have a superman shirt on and superman underwears, too!"
Lady at Beeville: "Oh!"

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