For all those that think Schafer only looks like her daddy...

My mom on the left, me in the middle and Schaf on the right.

You see it, right?  RIGHT?

Someone lie to me.  ;P

Banner quotes, Durango Edition...

Yes, we did go to Durango this summer.  With Banner, it took us months to work up the courage to travel with a baby.  With Schafer, however, we are all over the place.  It helped greatly that we had to travel to Arkansas for William and Claire's wedding when Schaf was a mere seven weeks old.  It is amazing what you can accomplish when you tell yourself that missing an important family event isn't an option.

Of course, I nearly had a meltdown when the EPA released 3 million gallons of toxic water down the Animas less than a week before we were scheduled to arrive.  Never figured our attempt at a relaxing family vacation would involve me showering only ONCE in ten days (or "bathing" Banner in the hot tub for that matter), but somehow it worked.

My mom joined us on our trip.  Originally, it was only supposed to be the five of us, but Scott came down from Denver for a few days as well as my aunt and cousin from San Diego.  So much fun even if it was overshadowed by a river (and the creek directly behind my mother's cabin) running orange with a toxic heavy metal sludge.

Because of my nursing/pumping schedule, there wasn't a whole lot of hiking this summer.  That said, we did make it to Spud Lake and the waterfall on the Cascade Creek Trail (I even pumped and fed Schafer just below the bridge about 2.5 miles in!).  Of course, I'm pretty sure the weight of my breast pump is the reason my cousin, Lindsey, temporarily dislocated her knee on the hike back to the car.  Luckily, she was okay, and she made it back to the van on her own two feet without being carried.  Thank goodness I insisted we drive the van 3/4ths of the way up the four wheel drive road.  True, we almost got stuck, but almost doesn't count when having it means your cousin-who-just-carried-your-breast-pump-for-miles-and-hurt-her-knee-in-the-process doesn't have to walk any further than necessary.

Thanks for going along with me on that, Trevor!

(He was the one driving.)

For the record, it is so weird to be tied to a machine, but nursing, for Schafer, has a soporific effect.  She never seems to get enough unless I give it to her in a bottle.  Plus, like last time, I'm a producer.  Nothing like a case of mastitis (like I had following William and Claire's wedding) to make me appreciate the need to fully empty my boobs every three hours.

My new favorite thing is Banner's quote log on my iPhone.  Three year olds are hysterical.  Here are some of my favs from our summer vacation:

Banner: "Jeep, you have a long head."
GP: "Never been accused of that before."

Totally should have bought this shirt...

Banner: "Jeep? You picking your nose?"
GP: "No! You shouldn't pick your nose. You can pick your friends but you shouldn't pick your nose."
Banner: "And you should never pick your friends nose because it might make their nose bleed."

Banner [on doing a puzzle]: "But Jeep! I'm doing the little sh*ts!" ("Sh*ts" is Banner for "chicks").

Banner: "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! I found the tree!"
Trev: "Did it go missing?"

Trevor: "Who is the biggest person here?"
Banner: "Me."
Trevor: "Okay, let's think about this. Who has the bigger hand?"
Banner: "My hand is the little one."
Trevor: "So if your hand is the little one and my hand is the big one, who is the biggest one here?"
Banner: "Me."

GP: "You are so photogenic."
Me: "Woman! I'm your clone!"
Banner: "Mama? You the woman?"
Me: "No, the other woman is The Woman."
Banner: "Daddy?"

Banner: "Sh*t monkeys where are you?" ("Sh*t Monkeys" is Banner for "chipmunk". It later became the "sh*tmunks".  Honestly, not sure which is my favorite.)

GP: "There is no reason to be afraid of chipmunks, Banner. To them, you are a monster."
Banner: "No, I'm not! I'm a good guy!"

Trevor [yelling to banner who had ran up the trail]: "Let us know if you see any bears!"
Banner: "Okaaaaay!"

Banner: "I'm going to help you!"
GP: "No, that's okay. I don't need any help."
Banner: "Oh, yes you do."


What happens when the bounce house is taken over by girls.
Banner is the one sitting in the corner "observing".

Banner: "You ready for me to turn the page yet?"
GP: "No, not really."
Banner: "Turning the page now..."

GP: "If you keep your eyes peeled, Banner, you might see a bear."
Banner: "There no bears here!"
GP: "Oh, yes there are!"
Banner: "Jeep, there no bears here because they have no cars!"
Me: "Yeah, Jeep. Duh."

Banner (crying): "Jeep! Jeep! Jeep! Daddy gave me a kiss but he was dirty!"

Me: "Which super hero are you? Captain America?"
Banner: "No, mama! I Bruce Banner!"
Me: "Oh, right! Goodnight, Bruce."
Banner: "Mama, I no Bruce Banner yet because I'm still little. I'll be Bruce Banner when I'm big."
Me: "When will that be?"
Banner: "Next week."

Banner: "Last year I falled down the stairs and broke my goldfish cup."
Me: "Banner, that wasn't last year. That was Tuesday."

My heart and soul.

Banner: "Where's my baby sister?"
Trevor: "We decided to leave her at the restaurant."
Banner: "Nooooooooooooooo!"
Me: "Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding! She's in daddy's arms!"
Banner: "Don't leave my baby sister! I love her!"
Me: "I know! We'd never leave either of you!"
Trevor: "What happened?"
Me: "Don't joke about leaving his sister."
Trevor: "Oh."
Me: "Although, I'm glad to know he cares."

Trevor: "Banner! Tell mommy what we saw while she was in the store."
Banner: "Mama! We saw...we saw...something."
Me: "Wow."

Later...
Trevor: "Tell Jeep what you saw while she was in the store."
Banner: "Deer!"
GP: "Where?"
Banner: "By the road!"
Trevor: "How many?"
Banner: "Three!"
Trevor: "How many babies?"
Banner: "Two!"
Trevor: "How many mamas?"
Banner: "One!"
Trevor: "How many daddies?"
Banner: "Uh.  No many."

Trevor: "It's poker."
GP: "And he might just poke you."
Me: "Whoa, mom."

In middle of intense thunderstorm...
Trevor (jokingly): "Banner, want to run around outside with a golf club?"

About five minutes later after a particularly loud clap of thunder...
Trevor: "Where you going, buddy?"
Banner: "Going to get a golf club."
Everyone: "No!"

Headed to Trimble Hot Springs for our only bath/shower in ten days.
#thanksEPA

Girls at ice cream shop: "Hi!"
Banner: "Hi! I got a Jeep!"

Tish: "Wonder who the fastest gun in the west was?"
Banner: "Me!"
Tish: "Was it Billy the Kid?"
Banner: "No! It was me! I'm the fastest guy in the west!"

Banner: "But I don't want my skin to be breaked open!"

Lady at Beeville: "Is that a superman shirt you are wearing?"
Banner (proudly): "I have a superman shirt on and superman underwears, too!"
Lady at Beeville: "Oh!"

Potty Training Confessional...

Y'all.  Potty training?  It isn't for the faint hearted.

This past weekend was our first foray into a brave new world without pull ups.  I've been prepared for weeks.  In late September, I ordered the Ban Man about 20 pairs of big boy undies with all his favorite things on the front (Spiderman, Superman, Thomas the Train...you know, the usual suspects), and waited for the appropriate time to start using them.  And October did not disappoint, either.  Banner has made spectacular progress over the last six weeks when it comes to all things potty, so I really wasn't all that surprised when his teacher asked if we could "give the big boy pants a 'go' this weekend" to, you know, see how it went.

And, honestly, I was impressed.  True THIS HAPPENED on Saturday night, but really no harm no foul:

Until Monday, that is. 

Apparently, when it comes to using the potty, Banner is all or nothing.  He will dutifully do his business in the potty all day if he feels like it.  If not, meh...he doesn't seem to care if he is wet or sitting in a puddle.

Except I do.  Especially when that puddle is on my couch.  Twice.  In less than fifteen minutes.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The thing is, we had been doing SO.WELL.  Saturday and Sunday were AWESOME, and I was feeling optimistic about our chances of being out in public without a pull up (I know, famous last words, right?!).  So, I took him out for a celebratory sushi lunch (his favorite) after swim class on Monday.  A meal that just happened to coincide with Banner deciding that the whole potty thing was completely overrated.

It didn't start out that way, though.  He peed in the potty like a champ three or four times after swim class - including TWICE at the restaurant.  My confidence was up, and my guard was down.  The food arrived, and Banner started shoveling avocado rolls in his mouth like he hadn't eaten for days. 

Which is, of course, when it happened:

Banner:  "Mama, Banner sittin' in a puddle."

And, sure enough, he was.  Did he care about it?  No.  Just scooted over and picked up another avocado roll from his plate completely unfazed.  He might as well have been commenting on the weather. 

Me, on the other hand, went into crisis mode.  Because that is what you do when you are on a lunch date in public with your two year old son on his third day in underwear, and suddenly discover him sitting in a pool of his own urine. 

Since the restaurant was crowded, I didn't want to make a scene.  So, instead, I surveyed the situation and tried to breathe:

• No one, except me (and technically Banner), was aware of what just happened.
• Thanks to the color of Banner's pants, they didn't even look wet.  They were, in fact soaked through, but you'd never know it just by looking at them.
• We were sitting on a wood bench (Thank God).
• Thanks to an earlier spill, we had a bunch of extra black, fabric napkins.
• Both of us were almost done with our meal.

You see where this is going?

If not, this is the point where I confess.  Be forewarned, however, that my coworker thinks I've done "the most horrible thing".  I say desperate times, desperate measures.

I discretely cleaned up the puddle using the extra napkins, while - simultaneously - finishing my California rolls (so no one watching would suspect anything).  I also grabbed a handful of ice from my water glass and tossed the cubes on the bench next to the wet napkins.  When the waitress came by, I told her Banner had spilled his water again.  She brought more napkins over, and I did my best to wrap the damp ones around the dry ones.  Then I moved the entire bundle into the sun, because the original puddle was...well, warm, and I didn't want anyone to suspect that the majority of the liquid was anything other than spilled water.  When the waitress returned, I hastily paid for our meal, tipped her very well and GOT THE EFF OUT OF THERE.

I know, I know.  Judge away!  I'm 100% guilty!

Personally, I feel like this story PALES in comparison to a similar one from my youth.  And since I'm telling this particular story about Banner, it is only right and fair that I share one from my own childhood.

I was about nine months old when my parents took me with them on a trip to Europe.  Apparently, I discovered pear juice somewhere along the way.  Unfortunately said juice did not agree with me, and...well, to quote my father I "blew my diaper off" at some cute, little restaurant in France.  He even has a video taken immediately after the incident occurred so he and my mother could immortalize it and bring it up from time to time throughout my childhood, because that's the kind of people they are.

Except the video clip, oddly enough (or not so oddly if you know my dad), ended with him getting distracted by his sudden need to "document" the slew of topless sunbathers he stumbled upon mere moments after zooming in on me in my mother's arms and taking a close up of the restaurant I had just disgraced.  This segue (or lack thereof) to early 80s European boobies has shocked, awed and confused people for years.  Including Trevor, who - after seeing the clip for the first time thirteen some odd years ago (THANKS, DAD!!) thought he was seeing a video my father shot of ME sunbathing topless on a beach in France.  Which, NO.  No, no, no, no, NO!  For SO many reasons NO!  It was almost a relief to clarify that I was the adorable nine month baby who just crapped herself at the restaurant across the street from a beach full of partially naked women.

(Note:  my father also showed this very same video to a movie theater FULL of people a decade and a half ago during a party in my honor.  Because of course he did.  And - even better - PEOPLE STILL REMEMBER SEEING IT.)

But I digress.

When I so unceremoniously exploded post pear juice, nothing was spared.  Including the chair cushion I was sitting on.  My parents, having just paid, looked at the situation in horror, and - not wanting to own up to what just happened - flipped the chair cushion over and fled like the building was on fire.

Not that my situation on Monday was much better, but at least I tipped well.  Even if I have no European boobies to show for it.

End of confession.

Highland Mary Lakes...

I'm pretty sure the last time we did the Highland Mary Lakes hike was in 2007.  For whatever reason, I never blogged about our hikes that year, which is too bad because we were prolific hikers that year.  I'm almost positive that was the summer we did Ice Lakes twice, explored Spencer Basin and discovered both the Highland Mary Lakes and Verde Lakes up near the Continental Divide.

Anyway, Highland Mary Lakes is a delightful hike just outside Silverton.  There are several extensions, and - back in 2007 - we hiked further than we did with Banner in tow this year.  And, honestly, we considered heading up to the Verde Lakes, but we weren't big fans of the thunderheads heading in our direction.  Which ended up being a good thing, because it rained on us on the way down and stormed on our way back into Silverton.

All in all, it this hike isn't as strenuous as Ice Lakes (about 6.5 miles roundtrip and 1500-1800 feet altitude gain), but has an equally gorgeous view as your reward.  Unless, of course, you are Grammy Pammy.  She absolutely hates this hike, but only remembers her strong feelings about it when faced with the boulder field less than a quarter mile from the first Mary Lake.

Seriously.  Want to hear GP swear like a sailor?  Take her on this hike, leave her on the far side of the boulder field and listen to her tell you that the hike "just isn't fun anymore".  But, to her credit, she's done this hike twice now, made it across the boulders (and back) and lived to tell about it.

But enough from me, here are some of the pictures from our final hike of the summer.  Just like with Forebay Lake, some of my favorites aren't included because they involve "potty training" at nearly 12,500 feet (actually some while waiting for GP to conquer the aforementioned boulder field).  Rest assured they are awesome and safely archived for Banner's rehearsal dinner!

"Mommy!  Mommy!  Take my picture here!"

Currently Jeep's FB profile picture.  Because ADORABLE!

Looking up towards the access to Spencer's basin.