On Tuesday morning, Banner and I walked into his classroom, and Abby's mom exclaimed, "Banner! Look at Abigail!"
So we did.
Abby was standing in the middle of the classroom next to one of the pint sized couches.
Me: "Oh! Yay! She's walking now!"
Abby's mom: [sharply] "No. No, she's not."
Me: "Oh. Well, she will soon. Don't worry."
Abby's mom: "She's 15 months old. My arms are getting tired of carrying her."
Me: "She'll do it when she wants. I think she just enjoys getting waited on. Banner apparently likes helping push her chair in during meal times and bringing her toys."
Abby's mom: "Hrmph."
Lesson learned: Asking if a child is walking when they are not is on par with asking a woman if she is pregnant when she has simply gained a few pounds. Or wearing a poorly fitting maxi dress. Like I was on Wednesday evening at a work event when my boss asked me if I was expecting #2.
(To be fair, he was really asking because I had mentioned to him that I wasn't feeling well earlier that day. But still.)
Sometimes there just isn't enough wine.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Saturday, June 22, 2013
And then there was this...
 |
| WTF, autocorrect? |
Speaking of "moo pic", what is it and why does my iPhone autocorrect "myopic" to "moo pic" to begin with?
In an effort to clarify, I Googled "moo pic" and nothing came up except a business card company and a bunch of images of cows. So this obviously isn't another case like "jeggings" in which I am simply unfamiliar with something that EVERYONE else on the planet knows about. My iPhone simply has a mind and vocabulary of its own.
It is mildly terrifying, really.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Thursday, June 20, 2013
ET calls home...
While watching the NBA finals tonight, Trevor and I saw this:
That lake? The one the guy is diving into? That is HERE. Ice Lakes Basin. Where I tricked convinced Trevor into quit smoking a decade ago. Where he proposed in 2008.
Honestly, I can't tell you how many times we've hiked up there. This blog is littered with images from our visits over the years. Even my Blogger profile picture was taken overlooking the lower basin. Just seeing it brings back so many memories. To say it is our special place is a gross understatement. That basin, at least to me, simply IS us.
Now it is in a commercial. An ad both Trevor and I saw for the first time tonight. Just weeks before we should be going back on what can only be described as our annual pilgrimage...home.
And yet, we aren't going to Colorado this year. We have other plans. Plane reservations even.
To Wyoming.
But? It is kind of weird, isn't it? To see the place you should be going to when you know you aren't going there at all? Especially when we WERE planning on going there as recently as a month ago. Before things changed unexpectedly. Before we weren't going there anymore. At least not this year.
60 seconds and I'm left reeling and questioning everything.
This is why I shouldn't watch basketball. Just sayin.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
It has been one of those days...
Within moments of arriving at work today, I managed to spill yogurt down the front of my shirt. I'm not sure I could duplicate what happened if I wanted to. And, for the record, Chobani with honey has no business being in my bra. Just sayin'.
(Not to mention he fact that hours later I am still sticky and now smell mildly of spoiled milk.)
The cleanup resulted in the front of my shirt being oh-so obviously damp for most of the morning, which is highly distracting. Especially, when coworkers, volunteers or interns stop by for impromptu meetings or interoffice chit chats. And no matter how much I have attempted to get the yogurt off the front of my gray, V-neck, there are still random crusty, white splotches here and there that make me feel like strangers might think something else (a la Monica Lewinsky) is going on up in here. Which, OMG, no, no, NO!
Also, ew.
Although once I get an inappropriate thought like that in my head, it is difficult to get it out. This sort of explains why I haven't left my office except to grab coffee, heat up my leftover soup and use the facilities. We wouldn't want The Yogurt to give The Public the wrong impression.
Speaking of coffee and lunch, I also managed to spill BOTH on my shirt as well as about half a glass of water. I guess I'm glad I didn't have time to run home and change. Apparently, today is just a day 'o' spills. Liquids are loving the gray, V-neck. Which I guess is okay since this particular top is easily laundered.
I just hope whatever is going on (cosmically?) clears up by tomorrow, because I have to wear a dress and heals. And the klutzy I am on a regular basis is usually nothing compared to the walking disaster I become when I've actually made some sort of effort.
I'm most likely doomed.
(Not to mention he fact that hours later I am still sticky and now smell mildly of spoiled milk.)
The cleanup resulted in the front of my shirt being oh-so obviously damp for most of the morning, which is highly distracting. Especially, when coworkers, volunteers or interns stop by for impromptu meetings or interoffice chit chats. And no matter how much I have attempted to get the yogurt off the front of my gray, V-neck, there are still random crusty, white splotches here and there that make me feel like strangers might think something else (a la Monica Lewinsky) is going on up in here. Which, OMG, no, no, NO!
Also, ew.
Although once I get an inappropriate thought like that in my head, it is difficult to get it out. This sort of explains why I haven't left my office except to grab coffee, heat up my leftover soup and use the facilities. We wouldn't want The Yogurt to give The Public the wrong impression.
Speaking of coffee and lunch, I also managed to spill BOTH on my shirt as well as about half a glass of water. I guess I'm glad I didn't have time to run home and change. Apparently, today is just a day 'o' spills. Liquids are loving the gray, V-neck. Which I guess is okay since this particular top is easily laundered.
I just hope whatever is going on (cosmically?) clears up by tomorrow, because I have to wear a dress and heals. And the klutzy I am on a regular basis is usually nothing compared to the walking disaster I become when I've actually made some sort of effort.
I'm most likely doomed.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
Between Babies: The finale...
From: Nathan
From: Nathan
Date: June 8, 2013, 12:29:38 PM CDT
To: Banner
Subject: Help me out, please.
To: Banner
Subject: Help me out, please.
Hi
Banner,
How are things going? Man, I've been having tons of fun lately.
Tanner and I hatched a plan to escape from our room at daycare this week. We decided we were tired of being in the same room with the other babies who cannot crawl yet. So, we figured we could spend the afternoons watching the fish and visiting the toddler rooms to see which one we wanted to join. Tanner and I had it all figured out, we had been practicing how to work those door knobs at home for days. Then, on the day we were set to spring out of the place, we decided to check the door and Ms. Stacy saw Tanner open the door, oops! Then she blocked it with the exersaucer. Drat. Out plan was foiled. The door has been blocked ever since. We need a new plan.
Oh, I got a birthday cake and balloons for my birthday. Mom made we a special vegan cake because milk makes my tummy hurt. It was nice of her to do that, but it didn't taste very good. The balloons, on the other hand, we're lots of fun. You can hit them and pull them and all sorts of things and they just fall up! It's incredibly funny. However, balloons outside are no good. The wind nocks them all over the place. I don't care for that, it's too frightening. So, other than yucky cake and the wind knocking my balloons around, I really liked turning one.
I'm still not sure about walking, though. It seems complicated. I am going to stick with crawling for a little longer. But, I think it's neat that you figured out how to run. My mom is talking about getting rid of my bottles, Banner. I don't know that she's thought this plan through. She must think that I'm just going to stop drinking milk all of a sudden. Crazy talk. There is so much that I find I need to teach my parents. Were your parents this confused on you, too?
Anyway, it's past my nap time so I better go. Take it easy, Banner.
Nathan
How are things going? Man, I've been having tons of fun lately.
Tanner and I hatched a plan to escape from our room at daycare this week. We decided we were tired of being in the same room with the other babies who cannot crawl yet. So, we figured we could spend the afternoons watching the fish and visiting the toddler rooms to see which one we wanted to join. Tanner and I had it all figured out, we had been practicing how to work those door knobs at home for days. Then, on the day we were set to spring out of the place, we decided to check the door and Ms. Stacy saw Tanner open the door, oops! Then she blocked it with the exersaucer. Drat. Out plan was foiled. The door has been blocked ever since. We need a new plan.
Oh, I got a birthday cake and balloons for my birthday. Mom made we a special vegan cake because milk makes my tummy hurt. It was nice of her to do that, but it didn't taste very good. The balloons, on the other hand, we're lots of fun. You can hit them and pull them and all sorts of things and they just fall up! It's incredibly funny. However, balloons outside are no good. The wind nocks them all over the place. I don't care for that, it's too frightening. So, other than yucky cake and the wind knocking my balloons around, I really liked turning one.
I'm still not sure about walking, though. It seems complicated. I am going to stick with crawling for a little longer. But, I think it's neat that you figured out how to run. My mom is talking about getting rid of my bottles, Banner. I don't know that she's thought this plan through. She must think that I'm just going to stop drinking milk all of a sudden. Crazy talk. There is so much that I find I need to teach my parents. Were your parents this confused on you, too?
Anyway, it's past my nap time so I better go. Take it easy, Banner.
Nathan
From: Nathan
Date: June 17, 2013, 10:03:59 PM CDT
To: Banner
Subject: Oh no!
To: Banner
Subject: Oh no!
Banner,
Tanner and I were punished for trying to escape from our room in daycare today. They sent us both to a new room for a time out this afternoon. There were all kinds of new kids in this room. I didn't like it, there were too many people. I was afraid that my mom and dad would never find me there when they came to pick me up. Plus, they didn't have any of my bottles there. I just wanted out. After a couple of hours, they finally let us go back. I was so relieved that I fell asleep eating. That was the worst time out ever. I learned my lesson. I won't try to escape from daycare again.
Nathan
Tanner and I were punished for trying to escape from our room in daycare today. They sent us both to a new room for a time out this afternoon. There were all kinds of new kids in this room. I didn't like it, there were too many people. I was afraid that my mom and dad would never find me there when they came to pick me up. Plus, they didn't have any of my bottles there. I just wanted out. After a couple of hours, they finally let us go back. I was so relieved that I fell asleep eating. That was the worst time out ever. I learned my lesson. I won't try to escape from daycare again.
Nathan
Operation Only Grandchild: Take Two
Remember THIS story from Memorial Day Sunday?
Well, tonight, Amy asked for a kiss before bath time, and Banner walked over as if to oblige her request. But at the last second, he reached into his diaper and presented her with a handful of poo instead. Then seemed completely surprised and demoralized when she shrieked and ran away.
Part of me is horrified and the other part is kind of like, "Well done, Banner. Well done." Because five minutes later, while I was drawing his bath, Banner streaked into the living room naked as the day he was born. He ran towards his Auntie Amy with a giant smile on his face.
And you know what she said?
"Ew! Go Away!"
The smile melted away, he started to sob and my pint sized poo-giver ran to me in the bathroom and hugged my leg like he thought I might not want him anymore either.
(We've been trying to convince Amy for awhile that Banner understands much more than she realizes.)
Amy tried to apologize, but it took awhile. Banner made sure to make her suffer and sulked in the tub while I scrubbed him down and tried to get him to play with his boats.
I'm pretty sure that means that Banner won. After all, how often can you hand poo to someone and have them begging for your forgiveness a mere ten minutes later?
It's weird, but I'm pretty sure that makes my kid kind of awesome.
Well, tonight, Amy asked for a kiss before bath time, and Banner walked over as if to oblige her request. But at the last second, he reached into his diaper and presented her with a handful of poo instead. Then seemed completely surprised and demoralized when she shrieked and ran away.
Part of me is horrified and the other part is kind of like, "Well done, Banner. Well done." Because five minutes later, while I was drawing his bath, Banner streaked into the living room naked as the day he was born. He ran towards his Auntie Amy with a giant smile on his face.
And you know what she said?
"Ew! Go Away!"
The smile melted away, he started to sob and my pint sized poo-giver ran to me in the bathroom and hugged my leg like he thought I might not want him anymore either.
(We've been trying to convince Amy for awhile that Banner understands much more than she realizes.)
Amy tried to apologize, but it took awhile. Banner made sure to make her suffer and sulked in the tub while I scrubbed him down and tried to get him to play with his boats.
I'm pretty sure that means that Banner won. After all, how often can you hand poo to someone and have them begging for your forgiveness a mere ten minutes later?
It's weird, but I'm pretty sure that makes my kid kind of awesome.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)