On picnics, sandwiches and my heart...

Today, Trevor had to work from home, so Banner and I were on our own for karate and lunch.  I figured we'd grab sushi, but the little guy surprised me when he announced that he wanted to bring lunch to daddy and have a picnic in the backyard instead.

It was very sweet.

And also a little frustrating because (apparently) proper picnic fare involves sandwiches.  Which is awesome when the one insisting on sandwiches is the very same individual who HATES all things sandwich.  Not sushi or tacos or any of the other things on the list of "things my kid will eat".  But arguing with a three year old is futile, so sandwiches it was.

(Spoiler alert:  Said three year old wouldn't TOUCH his sandwich.  Luckily he also requested fruit and carrots, so he didn't go hungry.)

Banner wanted it to be a family picnic, so the dogs were not only included, but were also required to sit around the picnic blanket as well.  Not that any of them were complaining because UNEATEN SANDWICHES!  ON THE GROUND!:

They were totally all over this picnic thing.

Banner has never been so popular.



Of course, Banner would only share with his best buddy, Haskell.
In fact, I'm not entirely unconvinced that Banner didn't get said uneaten sandwich FOR Haskell.

Which explains why Haskell never left Banner's side during the entire event. 
Not for a second.  Not even for a squirrel.
(Smart dog)

Regardless of the uneaten sandwich, it ended up being one of the best parts of my weekend.  Because, quite frankly, life just doesn't get much better than this:



 Sometimes I sit back and realize how truly lucky I am.  This was one of those moments.

Just looking at this photo makes me happy.  It was a good day.

The results are in, and they are amazing...

The Awesome Pawsome

As you may remember, we did a DNA test on Gypsy earlier this year.  Her results can be found HERE.

For my birthday next month, I asked Trevor to get me a test for Haskell.  Because doggie DNA tests are like potato chips.  You can't test just one.  Especially when every mutt in the house presents its own four-legged mystery.

(Or something like that.)

Which (sort of) explains why Trevor threw a third test in the virtual cart for Alley, because he wanted in on the fun, too.  

I collected samples from Haskell and Alley back on July 7th, and we just got the results back today.  

Let's start with Alley Cat:

S'up?

We always kind of assumed Alley was some sort of pit bull mix, and...well, we weren't all that far off.  She is part American Staffordshire Terrier.

What we weren't expecting was this:  

She is also part Pom.  Because, I'm sorry.  What?

Alley is clearly much more mixed up than Gypsy, but - even though the test only goes back three generations - the results provide a good educated guess about the make-up of the remaining "mixed breed" relatives.  It is all about breed markers or something.  Anyway, in Alley's case,  the five breeds with the strongest statistical likelihood of having something to do with her ancestry are identified below:

Surprisingly, "seal" wasn't an option.

 Moving on to Haskell:

C'mon Maury Povich.  Tell me who my daddy is!

Ironically, he is the only one of the three that is bonafide a lab mix (lab and golden, actually).  Which is funny because if you throw a ball at the dog, it bounces off his head and he's all like, "What did you do that for?"

That said, years ago in Durango, Haskell somehow managed to catch a duck (he's obsessed with birds).  He very carefully picked it up in his mouth, swam across the pond (he rarely - if ever - swims), and placed the duck gently in my hands. It was like he knew that was what he was supposed to do. Of course, I was completely freaked out, because the poor duck! It was still alive. I actually don't think it was hurt badly at all, but died anyway. Poor thing was literally scared to death. Anyway, somewhere back in the deep, dark recesses of Haskell's brain, the lab/golden came out and my little idiot dog did exactly what his ancestors were bred to do.

Kind of cool, right?

But I digress.  Here is what goes into the making of a Haskell:

Told you he isn't part pig (TREVOR)!

But my FAVORITE part of his analysis is the "other" breeds that went into all of those mutts on the mixed-up side of his family tree.  Because the breed with the strongest statistical likelihood?  Yeah, a Chinese Crested.  Because OBVIOUSLY.

I've always thought he was a little dog trapped in a big dog body.
And he (sort of) is.  Because 3 of those 5 are wee little yappy things

I think the most surprising thing about the test results is that Gypsy, Alley and Haskell have nothing in common breed-wise, but look like they could be litter mates.  I find that fascinating.

(Although, I've always been easily amused.)

In other news, Wisdom Panel should totally take me to dinner, because of all the people that have told me they have ordered kits to test their mutt.  I can't recommend it enough!

Banner shorts, Take II...

Me:  "What do you want for dinner?"

Banner:  "Food."

Me:  "Okay.  What kind of food?"

Banner:  "The kind in my mouth."

The BEST part of this conversation is that he opens his mouth and points inside, like I'm unfamiliar with the whole eating process.  Then he laughs and walks away as if he is in middle school or something and he just said the funniest thing ever.

Not even 30 months old, and already a smarta$$.

(No idea where he gets THAT from.)

Me:  "Ready to take a bath?"

Banner:  "No.  I wanna ride Haskell."

Me:  "No.  We don't ride Haskell."

Banner:  "Gypsy?"

Me:  "No.  We don't ride Gypsy either."

Banner:  {frustrated sigh}

Speaking of the dogs, Banner periodically blames them for things.  My favorite was when I served him carrots the other day, and he fed them to the Haskell (who LOVES raw carrots, by the way).  When I caught Banner in the act, he looked at me with these big, blue eyes and proceeded to tell me that Haskell STOLE the carrots off his plate.  He even turned to Haskell and said, "Give back, A$$ Cow!  Now!".

Stinker.

The ranch, the tractors and the Spartan Race...

So, Trevor registered for this Spartan Race months ago.  Which is funny in a way, because Trevor promised that he wouldn't register for any new races after I got pregnant (because I have a tendency to be a LOT little competitive).  And then - not even kidding you - ONE WEEK after I told him I was pregnant again back in January, he came to me with news of this "really cool race" down in Burnet in May that he just HAD to do.

Trevor needs a refresher on the definition of "promise".

But I relented.  Mainly because Trevor has always wanted to be a spartan and push tires in the mud.  And by "always" I really mean "since 2007 when he first saw the movie 300".  Who was I to stand in the way?  Plus, since the whole pregnancy thing didn't work out, it gave Trevor something to train for and look forward to after the miscarriage.

The nifty thing about this particular Spartan Race was that it close to the ranch.  So, instead of driving to Burnet, running a race and driving back to Dallas, we all just spent the weekend in the hill country.

Haskell was thrilled because this meant he got to go.

It also allowed us to come and watch Trevor run.  I don't know if anyone who reads this blog has ever gone to or participated in a Spartan Race, but it is quite the spectacle.  There are something like 30,000 participants spread out over two days.  Spectators are encouraged, and there is even a mini Spartan Race for the 4-8 crowd.

Of course, Saturday was toasty, and there wasn't much shade.  Which sort of explains Banner's sunscreen mohawk:

To be fair, we tried to put a hat on him, but he didn't like it because it was hot.  Desperate times, desperate measures.

Honestly, Banner didn't mind too much because we were waiting in line to ride on a school bus from the parking area to the starting line.  Little man was thrilled.  It was his first ride on a bus and he savored every second.  Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and be two again.  There is something magical about watching another human being be so genuinely happy and excited about doing something as mundane as riding a bus.  I wish I could bottle that enthusiasm.  It was contagious, and he is still talking about it days later.  Because, dude, he rode A BUS!

But back to the race.  Y'all.  There are no words, so I'm just going to show you some of the pictures I took of a few of the obstacles:

Waiting for daddy...

It was crazy.

Sadly, we missed Trevor crossing the finish line.  But only just.  Once we did find him, though, all he could say was "never again".  Which is hysterically funny since he was already planning a second Spartan Run a mere two hours later.

It took him 3 hours to finish.  The race was supposed to be 8 miles long, but ended up being 9.5.  Any obstacle you either couldn't or failed to do required 30 burpees.  It was hot.  It was dusty.  But the water they had to crawl and swim through was icy cold.  Might sound refreshing, but it was a recipe for muscle cramps.  The poor guy could barely walk afterwards, but Trevor finished!!

Banner also got a metal.  Technically, he was too young to do the mini Spartan, but Trevor registered him anyway.  Spectators cost $20/each, but mini Spartan registration was $25 AND you got a t-shirt and two FREE spectators.  What would you have done?  ;P

Plus, Banner was so good all morning.  It was about a mile from the parking area to where the buses were picking up, and about another third of a mile to the starting line/observation area.  Banner was a trooper the entire time despite all the heat and sun.  So, I asked the guy handing out the mini Spartan metals if Banner could have one (since we had registered and paid for the metal anyway), and he gladly handed one over.  Banner was so proud:

Just like daddy!

After the race, we got lunch in town and spent the rest of the day hanging out at the ranch; complete with an evening cook out at the dam just like when I was a kiddo.

The ranch really is turning into one of Banner's favorite places, and it is neat to see him doing the things I did as a child.  Of course, nothing is cooler for a(n almost) 2.5 year old than getting to drive the tractor with Uncle Yum.  He was in heaven!

Thank you, William, for being so patient with him and taking him for rides!

Last but not least, Sunday was Gypsy's 11th birthday (or the tenth anniversary of her adoption from the SPCA of Texas).  She celebrated in style (even if she looks horrified):

All in all, a fabulous weekend filled with good fun, good food and good people.  Now if I can only figure out a way to talk Trevor out of doing a 13 mile Spartan Run in November.  Because...SERIOUSLY, TREVOR?!

Like Haskell, but not (or the best $5 I've ever spent)...

 

Note:  Trevor has been referring to Haskell as a "pig dog" for YEARS. 

It was obviously meant to be.

Too fabulous not to share...

Trevor's attire at the Secret Cupid party at our house Valentine's night.
Even Haskell is impressed.

The good news:  All G-Winks were sporting PJs in various shades of red and pink.  Seriously.  I wore pink scrubs from my 2002 college sorority formal, a tank top and a pink polka-dotted bathrobe.  I was fabulously comfortable.

The bad news:  EVERYONE ELSE IN ATTENDANCE decided to forgo PJs or festive Valentine's Day attire, and look all cute and fancy.  Dru even wore an ascot.  AN ASCOT.  Like Ken on Toy Story 3.  Meanwhile, I looked like someone just woke me up from a sound sleep for some pizza.

Oh, and did I mention I was also meeting out of town cousins for the first time?  Yeah.  Yay me.

But back to Trevor.  He has wanted a smoking jacket for years but is never getting one because the cheapest they run is like $1,000.  And, no:  The fact that they throw in "free monogramming" isn't a selling point AT ALL.  Because the man only smokes a pipe maaaaaybe once a year and...well, he is TREVOR.  Not James Bond, Hugh Hefner or even Pepe Le Pew.

But, luckily, he found this robe at an antique store, and he is satisfied for now.

And, don't worry.  I made him dry clean it first.  Because:  MOTH EGGS and EMBALMING FLUID!

In related news, I mentioned to Trevor nearly twelve years ago, that I've always found something appealing about grown men in PJs.  I've even bought him various sets over the years in the hopes that he'd wear them.  No dice.  Well, until he found this set at Nordies.  Now he comes home and immediately puts them on.  We are going to have to get him another set, though, because he is all like Banner and his Elmo shirt with those PJs right now and they've got to go in the laundry sometime.

Boys, I swear.  They never cease to amaze and amuse, do they?

It is possible he had it coming...

Oh, Haskell.

What to do about Haskell?

(Or, as Banner calls him, "A$$ Cow".)

Outside of being hit by a car (before I found and adopted him), and a couple of accidents along the way; Haskell has always been my easy keeper.  He maintains his weight eating less kibble than his sisters, loves to wear costumes and coats and is the BEST behaved dog at a party.  Especially when wearing a red bow tie.

He is patient with Banner.  Although, when he has had enough, Haskell has no problems with relocating to the child-free safety of the dog run...much to Banner's chagrin ("A$$ Cow!  Wheer ah oooo?  A$$ Cow!  Inside!  Now, A$$ Cow!...Peas?").

Sure, there are times when Haskell is annoying.  Like when he ate TWO ENTIRE HOMEMADE DESSERTS made by my brother last year, and didn't suffer at all.  Not even slight intestinal distress.

(Not that I was hoping for my dog to be sick or in pain.  Trevor, on the other hand, was really looking forward to all those slices of angel food cake and gingerbread brownies.  A little bit of indigestion on Haskell's part would have made Trevor feel a whole lot better about the situation.)

And then last week when we had people over for slow cooker tortilla soup that had been simmering for  ten hours in the kitchen.  Don't get me wrong.  The soup was fabulous (as it always is when Trevor makes it), but it would have been even better if Haskell hadn't stolen the FOUR AVOCADOS off the island, gently pealed them in the dog run, ate the good part and left a pile of skin and seeds behind a potted plant.  Just like the desserts, we knew it was all Haskell, too.  Because Gypsy and Alley simply think about eating something other than kibble, and get the runs.  Haskell, on the other hand, stomach of steel.  

It is obnoxious, really.

So, imagine our surprise when we arrived home from date night Thursday to discover Haskell's face was swollen up like a Shar Pei.  Other than looking ridiculous with lips that weighed at least ten times more than usual, Haskell was fine.  No difficulty breathing, no tummy upset, drinking/eating normally, no mouth sores, bad breath or broken teeth.  Granted, he didn't seem overjoyed with my poking his face, but that probably had more to do with annoyance (and the fact he was trying to go to sleep) than pain.

Rather than rush him to the emergency vet, we decided to wait and see.  The next morning, his face was slightly less swollen, and by the time we got home from work he was all better.

Still no idea what caused his head to swell, but I'm guessing it was an allergic reaction to…something.  Maybe a bug or spider bite?  We will probably never know, but it safe to assume it wasn't anything stolen from the kitchen.  At least not this time.

Poor swollen-headed, big-lipped A$$ Cow.

Happy Halloween!

Love, Thor (Banner), Ironman (Gypsy Kitty),
Captain America (Alley Cat) and Spiderman (Haskell)

And, yes, I know Spiderman isn't an Avenger.

All the Hulk dog costumes available online last week were XS, 

and there was SIMPLY no way Haskell was fitting in that!  ;P

Because getting a picture of the dogs
(and the backs of their shirts) was IMPOSSIBLE with Banner.

A blurry attempt at a family photo in the backyard.
There is a reason there aren't many!

Heading out...

Ban said a jumble of words that sounded enough like "trick
or treat" to pass as acceptable.  It helped that he is just so
(darn) cute.  Next year we need to work on NOT barging
into stranger's homes, waking their babies and otherwise
making himself at home. You know:  Baby steps.

Hope everyone had a safe and happy Halloween!