Tuesday, March 06, 2007

On cell phones. And dogs. And cell phones for dogs...

Cell phones for dogs...what's next?!
How sad is it that:

A) this exists?

B) I want one?

Okay, okay. It’s kind of frightening that we live in a time and place where buying a cell phone for your dog is not only possible but also has a viable market among consumers.

That said, have you seen this thing?! It is amazing! Not only does it give a whole new meaning to calling your dog, but it also has a built in GPS system (which can come in quite handy in the event dear Rover gets lost). Additionally, the PetCell includes a sensor that can alert you if your dog becomes too hot or too cold, as well as an attachable collar-cam (incase you want to know exactly how your favorite canine companion spends his day). The dang thing is even water drool-proof! I am tres amused!

I can just imagine having the following cell phone conversation with my dog, Gypsy Kitty:

Me: “Hi, Gypsy. What’s up? How’s the backyard?”

Gypsy Kitty: “Woof! Woof! Woof!”

Me: “Slow down! What do you mean I left the back gate open?!”

Gypsy Kitty: “Woof! Woof! Grrrrr…Woof!”

Me: “What?! The mailman breeched the perimeter?! He was just delivering the mail! How many times do I have to tell you, Gypsy?...The mailman isn’t in cahoots with the mean, fat cat down the block! He just brings mommy her letters and bills!”

Gypsy Kitty: “Grrrrr…Woof! Arf! Woof, Woof! Whimper!”

Me: “Oh, no! You chased him? And now you’re lost?! Gypsy, baby, where are you?! Are you okay?”

Gypsy Kitty: “Whimper, Whimper! Sigh! Whine!”

Me: “You’re scared! Oh, sweetie! Let me turn on your cell phone’s GPS so I can figure out where you are. Is Haskell with you?”

Gypsy Kitty: “Whine, Whimper, Whine!”

Me: “Oh, good! At least you are together.”

Gypsy Kitty: “Whimper! Arf! Grrrrr…”

Me: “Well, tell him that I’m sorry he’s so hungry. It’s only been three hours since I last fed him! Oh, wait…the GPS is working…okay, you’re at the corner of Lindsley and Carroll. I want you to sit down and wait for me there. The monitor says that you are over-heating, so stop moving and try to relax. I’ll be there just as soon as I can.”

Gypsy Kitty: “Whine! Whine! Whine!”

Me: “I’m sorry that a car honked at you, but I’m only five minutes away. I’ll be there soon enough. Just sit tight and tell Haskell to do the same.”

Gypsy Kitty: “Arf! Whimper! Whine!”

Me: “Tell him to hold it! He can pee once he gets back home. I don’t want either of you to move an inch until I get there. Understand?”

Gypsy Kitty: “Bark!”

Me: “Good girl. I’ll be there soon!”

Apparently, the PetCell is do out sometime this year, and will cost upwards of $400. A little too steep for me, considering I work for a nonprofit. However, I’m sure the price will go down once the concept catches on. Yes, that’s right: It is only a matter of time before Lil’ Miss Gypsy Kitty will be sporting her new doggie cell phone at a dog park near you!

(Stop judging me!...You know my dog won’t be the only one!!)


The 'dog model' even LOOKS like Gypsy Kitty!  It's obviously a sign...

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is it awful that I think Dale totally needs a pet cell? He does. I am sure. Then when he is home alone, trapped in a kennel, with a psycho kitty trying to get at him through the bars he can call me and I can yell at the kitty. I bet it could save lives.

Lia said...

I don't know if I would need the cell phone thingee, but the GPS tracking device is pretty handy. And cool.

RR said...

I like the idea of having a doggie-cam. I wonder how squirrels look to my parents' dog?

Katie said...

not judging . . . laughing . . . but not judging

Anonymous said...

I think you're sad. Pet cells? The fact that you've even considered yourself capable of understanding you mutts is beyond me. Take it easy D; it's not worth the money

Amstaff Mom said...

Abbs would just tell me that I'm interrupting nap time and to call back later.

Deals On Wheels said...

Sarah: I totally think that Dale needs a PetCell. Maybe he and Gypsy can be cell phone buddies??? :P

Lia: I agree. The GPS thing is wicked cool. I want one for myself. I get lost a lot.

RR: Squirrels are evil. The ones in my yard throw nuts at my dogs. Drives them bonkers, and the squirrels’ just laugh.

Katie: Oh, whatever. You're just jealous that you don't have a dog to buy a PetCell for... :P

Turd: As Gypsy and Haskell's favorite uncle, I think you'd enjoy giving them a call every once in awhile. They both really enjoy talking on the phone as it is. Just ask Mimi...

AM: Yeah, so would Haskell. That's why I'd get one for Gypsy. Haskell would only demand food as payment for so rudely interrupting his naptime.