- Uh-oh.
- No you are not.
- Well, that sure complicates family matters.
- It’s your life.
- Is this a wanted pregnancy?
- Sometimes big girls like you never show at all during their entire pregnancy, you know.
- I wouldn’t call you fat. You’re more…wide.
- I’m just…well, shocked. I thought you two would wait awhile before having kids.
- Once it is here, you can’t put it back.
- Are you sure you are ready?
- But you PROMISED me that you wouldn’t get pregnant! You lied!
- Oh, no. [Deep breath out] You are kidding, right?
- OMG! Was it an accident? Did your birth control fail?
- You know they have stuff to prevent that, right?
- That sucks. I’m sorry.
All this might explain why I almost cried when I had to tell my boss that I am expecting.
To be clear, though, I didn’t cry. I just looked like I might at any moment.
Me: “…I am about twelve weeks along.”
Boss: “Congratulations! That is wonderful news!
Me: “I have every intention of returning to work, and I can do stuff from home while I am on leave.”
Boss: “I’m not worried! Do you know if it is a boy or girl, yet?”
Me: “Wait. You aren’t angry?”
Boss: “Why would I be angry?”
Me: [Holding back tears] “ I don’t know! I just thought you might be!”
Ever since I started telling people, I’ve sort of felt like I needed to shout, “I’M PREGNANT!” before jumping behind a brick wall or some other king of defensive structure. It is not that no one has reacted positively to the news. It is just I’ve had a lot of BAD reactions. And, well, I might be a tad bit hormonal.
So, if you feel slighted because I didn't tell you in person, please take into consideration that I am a little gun shy thanks to the 15 reactions posted above. And THOSE were from close friends, family and coworkers. Pregnancy is scary enough without feeling like a fifteen year old teenage pregnancy statistic. Especially considering I am almost 31 and nothing about about this pregnancy was a surprise.
This also might explain my sudden fascination and NEED to watch The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Or not. And I cannot believe I just admitted that I am voluntarily watching that garbage publicly. Again with the hormones. I am apparently in desperate NEED of someone to relate to. Since no one else I know seems to be pregnant at the moment, I am finding comfort in the plight of a knocked up, fictional high schooler.
Just a little pathetic.
Anyway, I am currently somewhere around the thirteen week mark and due sometime on or near Christmas. Which, of course, means that Spot or Dot is already predestined to hate me because I have doomed it to a lifelong struggle of birthday presents wrapped up in Christmas paper.
Trevor just hopes it comes before New Years because of the tax break. We have priorities in Casa de G-Wink, you know.
The End.
10 comments:
That's great news!
To be fair you did tell me right before a movie started in the theater and technically you did lie to me, which is how you prefaced the conversation before dropping the bomb.
But don't worry, I'm now excited, and your baby is going to get the full Auntie impact. Brace yourself, I plan on turning your child into a liberal, pinko, commie by the time it's 2. Aren't you glad you told me now? :P
Congratulations! That's very exciting news! :)
...I can hardly wait! GP ;)
You're gonna be a beautiful mommy & Trevor's gonna be a wonderful daddy...GP
Love this post, so amusing that those were some of the reactions you got! I think mine was much better, and I am so excited for you two. Anything you need, even if just to talk let me know, even though I have not been there yet, you are welcome to talk to me whenever you need a friend.
stupid google eating my comment. Anyway. I can't believe people actually said those things to you. They suck. CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am super excited for you. And good luck to you and Trevor both.
I love that you posted this. And immediately left town.
However, I am super, super excited. Let the spoiling begin!!
Congratulations! I'm so happy for you! Only I think we should change our next dinner/lunch venue. You shouldn't have sushi, right? We'll just plan for a day when we know Kalachandji's has something I can eat. :)
P.S. I love Kalachandji's, so that wasn't meant as a negative comment. Just wanted to say that in case you were feeling down. I *LOVE* (ALL CAPS!) Kalachandji's, and I can have sushi anytime, so it's perfectly okay if you can't have sushi when we finally see each again and possibly have a meal together.
To all: Thanks guys! I wish I could articulate how excited Trevor is. He is over the moon. I'm more nervous and a little scared, but I think that is normal. I am hoping it will seem more real somehow when I finally feel it move. Or start to show. Or sometime before it arrives around Christmas.
Melissa: I HAD to leave town. Lest the comments continue to trickle in!
RR: I can still eat sushi. I am just sticking with the cooked fish and/or veggie rolls. My doctor didn't give me any dietary restrictions (and the Japanese have been eating sushi for centuries), but I'm still opting for California and avocado rolls just to be on the safe side. But Kalachandji's is always yummy as well as Spiral and Cosmic! Just say when!
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