Four Weeks!

This might be my new favorite picture.

Okay, it might take awhile to catch up and post like normal person, because every time I sit down for a second it is (somehow) time to feed the baby again. Until we have a little more time between meals, lists of memories is about all I can muster.

I know, I know. I suck.

(Sigh.)

To be fair, lists are much, much easier to manage with a newborn because I don't have to get back in the rhythm of writing a longer post. I can keep segments short and disconnected. And, yes, I realize this all makes me a tad lazy, but at least I'm getting the memories down in some way. Because I am no longer confident my memory will return...ever.

So without further ado (and in no particular order), here is another list:

• I forgot about this until the newborn photographs from the hospital arrived, but I bawled when they showed me Banner's newborn pictures on the afternoon I was discharged from Baylor. Of course, I was crying a lot then. But what really got me is that Trevor also teared up.
  
  Look at our sweet baby. Sniff, sniff....boohoohoohoo.
  
  The funny thing is that Banner is soooooo yellow in those pictures that it is almost comical. We will only be able to use them in black and white. But it is amazing to see how much the little guy has grown and changed in the last four weeks. He is growing up so fast!



Just when I get my stink right, they give me another bath.

My doctor told me to drink a beer a day to help with milk production. Not a light beer, but something like a Guinness. I'm not having issues with milk production so I haven't tried it (and have never been a fan of beer), but groups like La Leche also recommend this to increase quantity. My doctor says he thinks it is the hops. Sigh...Why can't red wine have the same effect? Because I really miss red wine.

Little angel

When my mom came to visit me in the hospital, she immediately asked how many times I had counted all of Banner's fingers and toes. My response: "Never". It honestly hadn't occurred to me, which seemed to horrify my mother.

To be fair, though, I figured someone would have mentioned it to me if he had an above or below average number of digits.

Still, to pacify my mother, we counted his fingers and toes two or three times just to make sure. And don't worry. He has ten of each.

Speaking of toes, I had to ask what the came between, "This little piggy went to market" and, "This little piggy went WEE-WEE-WEE all the way home." Trevor was stunned and said my ignorance on this matter almost justified losing my parenting license.

Sleepy B-Man

Banner has an uncanny ability to spit milk up out of his nose.

On Sunday, January 29th, the B-Man went on his first road trip to Cedar Hill to visit Grammy Pammy. It was fabulous.

I heart Grammy Pammy!
(obviously)

The road trip was also the first time we broke out the stroller, which is kind of funny since Banner was only in the stroller from the living room to the car, and the car into Grammy Pammy's house. We could have just, I dunno...carried him.

Banner's hair is blonde on top and red around the sides.

He has great eye contact and started following objects with his eyes a couple of weeks ago. Trevor refers to this as Banner's first trick.

Look at those blue eyes!

Banner is only waking up once between 10 PM and 9 AM. Usually his overnight feeding falls between 3 and 4 AM, but if he is really tired (like he was after visiting Grammy Pammy) he has been known to sleep all the way to *gasp!* 6 AM.

Of course, Trevor wants to know when he will start sleeping twelve hours, which is fabulous since Trevor has gotten up with his son exactly TWICE since he was born. Both times took place the weekend of January 21st and 22nd when the baby nurse went home because her son was being ordained. After the second night, Trevor announced that Rue Anna's job "sucked" and wanted to know when she was coming back.

Banner is now eating between 4 and 6 ounces 6 times a day. Well, technically he has only eaten 6 ounces (that I know of) once and - to my great surprise - didn't explode. Generally, he eats 4 to 5 ounces during the day and 5 to 5.5 at night. A very unscientific weigh-in yesterday (where I weighed myself first, then Banner and I together and subtracted the difference) has me down another 5 pounds and the kiddo up to 10.

Obviously, I have no idea how much he is eating when he is on the boob, which is slightly disconcerting since I seem to be able to produce up to ten ounces in less than fifteen minutes when I pump. And because the milk comes - literally - shooting out, I've starting wearing my nipple shield again when I nurse to keep him from choking and spitting up so much. It just comes out so fast. The bottle actually seems less stressful for him because the flow isn't like a freaking fire hose.

Diapers? Is that all you've got?

We still haven't found a diaper that can contain my baby. So far, the Huggies seem to do better than the Pampers, but there are still a lot times the B-Man ends up in two diapers just so I don't end up covered in pee or poop. The other morning, he was nursing and pee started to come out both the top AND the sides of a DOUBLE diaper. He was like a fountain of urine.

We are now trying size 1-2 Huggies with Leak Lock technology. The jury is still out, but I will keep you posted.

Oh, and the main reason for all the diaper problems is Banner's shape. He finally is getting a bit of a belly, but his legs are still super skinny. So we need one sized diapers to fit around his middle and another one to fit snuggly around his thighs. Hence, two diapers.

I know, I know. Two diapers is completely weird. Sigh.

One day I will start actually smiling on purpose
(as opposed to just when I am gassy)!

Speaking of pee, Banner is a FORCEFUL little urinator. The other day he managed to pee on Haskell's head. Which is really a feat once you learn that the baby was on the changing table and Haskell was standing in the doorway. Banner started to pee and Trevor blocked the flow with his hand. The pee ricocheted off his hand and hit Haskell square between the eyes. Haskell, who hasn't been so keen on venturing to the nursery in the first place, has more or less decided that that part of the house no longer exists.

Can't a baby get any rest around here?!

Auntie Mimi has decided that "Banner looks better when photographed slightly from above" because it is his most flattering angle. Similarly, she has requested that "for artistic purposes" that I should try to also photograph him from further away. Which is fabulous since most of the pictures I take of him are captured while holding him.

I was in my friend Anni's wedding when Banner was seventeen days old. The bridesmaid dress was strapless, and required me to buy the LARGEST strapless bra in stock at Dillard's. And it was technically too small (but would do). Trevor sees my boobs nowadays and just laughs. They are absolutely ridiculous.

And, come to think of it, maybe jumping and dancing to Journey at the reception seventeen days after giving birth wasn't the best idea in the world (but, boy, was it fun!).

Anni got married!
And Banner spit up ALL OVER Hilary!

The fabulous Hilary and Phil went with me to Banner's two week appointment with the pediatrician. I am sure there were about a million things they would have preferred to have done on their mini vacation to Dallas than go to the doctor's office. Especially considering that they have a kiddo of their own, and the pediatrician's office? Yeah, they've been there, done that. But, honestly, I don't know what I would have done without them there. It is always a sad state of affairs when the mom needs emotional support when it is the baby that requires a heal prick.

Favorite quote from the Anni/Tyler wedding weekend (other than Phil being introduced to a U.S. Congressman as "Philly") was:

Hilary: "I'm stuck."
Phil: "No you are not. You are just not moving."

Live long and prosper!

Amy cut off Haskell's white flag. For those of you that don't know what that means, Haskell has a short tail that is (normally) about three and a half inches longer thanks to his "white flag" (a tuft of white hair that grows out of the tip of his tail). Except now it is gone because, according to Amy, Haskell's poked her with his nose last Friday night while she was making cookies. This annoyed her because, after he poked her, his eyes got really big and he backed away slowly (typical Haskell behavior). So, she "punished" him by trimming his white flag off.

But then she lied about it. Here is the transcription of the text conversation:

Me: "Did u trim haskells white flag off?"

Amy: "Wasn't me."

Me: "Yeah right. With ur history of dog grooming and wanting to shave Haskell?!"

Amy: "It must have been melissa or the nurse lady. Or maybe he got so stressed it just fell off."

Me: "It has been cut. It is too straight and perfect to have just fallen out."

Amy: "Thats weird. I was just reading my book."

Me: "U are evil."

Amy: "Blame the godmother. Poor Haskell. You know I didn't do it bc if it were me I would only harrass wipsy."

Me: "You have never threatened to shave gypsy."

Amy: "I cant tell if youre mad at me."

Me: "Ha! So u admit it! Godmothers dont lie u know. They also don't cut off the white flags of simple minded canines."

Amy: "No. I just feel im being accused and it hurts me. im getting married this year. be nice to me."

Me: "Hmmmm...Guess u don't wanna be a godmother then."

Amy: "Ok fine. i did it. he poked me and then backed away with that stupid look on his face. he is always waving that silly white flag at me."

Me: "His tail looks ridiculously short now. Did u think I wouldn't notice?"

Amy: "Actually, no i didnt. if anything i though you might mistake him for gypsy. you dont ever look at the dogs now that you have a baby. i think i did him a favor. look at all the attention he is getting now."

Me: "Weirdo. I love my dogs. I can't believe u thought I wouldn't notice!"

Amy: "well arent you glad i tested you and you passed?"

Me: "Hrumph."

(Poor Haskell)

Night, Night!

I was originally against using the pacifier for the first three months. Yeah, that lasted all of five days.

The meteorite that fell from the sky and created a sonic boom on Wednesday night? It is possible I thought it was the baby. Apparently this means I need to get out more.

Mom really thinks I am adorable when I am fast asleep!

Grammy Pammy didn't understand why I nursed half the time and pumped the other until I asked her if she wanted to feed the baby. Now she is a big fan.

Is it lunch time, yet?!

The weather has been so nice around here recently that I've taken Banner on several strolls around the neighborhood. The first was in his stroller and the second in his sling around my neck. I think the B-Man preferred the sling because the area sidewalks leave a lot to be desired if you are a sleeping babe. He kept looking at me like, "Who is driving this thing? Can't you see I am trying to nap!"

What's up?!

My sister's wedding is coming up in April, and I completely forgot about her cake tasting on Wednesday. Well, that is until she called me fifteen times an hour before the cake tasting and sent me a text message that read: "don't make me go bridezilla on your ass."

Message received. I might have been a few minutes late, but I was SO THERE.

Mom thinks I look like an angry little monkey here.

Banner's daycare can take him on March 19th, so now I just need to figure out if I am going to return to work full time immediately or do the part time thing for a pay period or two to ease the transition.

You think YOUR life is hard?!

Speaking of work, there was a mixup in HR and they've been paying me as if I am vacation instead of maternity leave. I actually had to call work and tell them not to pay me anymore (until I return to work, of course) to salvage some semblance of my vacation time.

Banner hates the sun. I joke that this makes him a vampire baby and - assuming his aversion to light doesn't go away as he gets older - Trevor and I can always relocate to Forks, Washington.

Don't mess with Thor!

Last weekend at Grammy Pammy's house, I was lead to believe that I broke the toilet and that my step father had to fix it using his bare hands. In reality, however, the toilet was acting up and just needed help flushing. Of course, I didn't find THAT out for hours.

Mama's little stinker!

My most cherished time of the day with my baby is first thing in the morning when we lay in bed together and I nurse and play with him. I refer to this as "Mornings with Mommy". The day begins with the news and generally ends with him peeing, pooping and/or spitting up all over me (which is when I know it is time for him to take a nap and for me to well...change clothes).

Until next time, my pretties!