|Amy: "Oh, look! He found a place that wasn't wet yet."|
Banner: "I'm thirsty."
Me: "You've had a lot of water buddy. Let's give it a bit, okay? I don't want you to explode."
Banner: "But my tummy says, [in a very high pitched voice] 'I really thirsty'!"
|Calls Trevor's iPad "the mat".|
Banner: "[From his bed] Mom! I'm finished with my lollipop!"
Me: "Lollipop? What lollipop? You are supposed to be going to bed!"
Banner: "This lollipop [shows me stem]. It was yummy but now I'm all sticky."
Me: "Banner, I'm confused. Those are brand new sheets fresh out of the dryer. Where did you stash a lollipop?"
Banner: "[Without hesitation] My butt."
Banner: "C'mon, 'Pencer. Let's play 'bayball."
Spencer: "Do you think we are doing him a disservice by not teaching him to bat right handed first?"
Trevor: "I dunno. Good point."
Me: "OMG, he is THREE."
Banner: "[During one of the snow days] Mom! Mom! I'm turning to ice! Just like Captain America!"
|Unhappy pancake that he insisted on at Legal Grounds over the regular happy pancake.|
(He was thrilled)
Me: "What do you want for breakfast?"
Banner: "Ice cream."
Me: "Yeah, no. Do you want a pancake? Egg? Waffle?"
Me: "I don't think you understand how breakfast works."
Banner: "No! You no understand! I tell you what I want already!"
[Note: He had a muffin with fruit.]
Banner: "Mom! Gypsy eat my food!"
Mom: "She couldn't have, buddy. She's on her dog bed. Did you really feed your food to one of the other dogs?"
Banner: "No, Gypsy just really, really fast."
Banner: "I gotta go potty."
Trev: "Need me to go with you?"
Banner: "No, don't come with me daddy."
Trev: "Why not?"
Banner: "Because I gotta put my potty face on."
Mr. Garcia: "Who is happy?"
[Whole class raises their hands except Banner.]
Banner: "I no happy."
Mr. Garcia: "I'm sorry, Banner, but I bet you've been happy at some point before. Now, who has ever been tired?"
Banner: "I'm tired now."
Mr. Garcia: "I know, buddy. Now who has ever been scared?"
Banner: "Me. I'm scared now."
Mr. Garcia: "I'm sensing a trend here."
Trevor: "So, he's scared and tired?"
Me: "But decidedly not happy."
Trevor: "[Loud toot] Uh oh! I must have stepped on a frog!"
Banner: "Daddy there's no frog. You pooted. Say 'cuse me'."
In the same vein (because discussions about toots, poop and burps just never get old at my house):
Trevor: "Oops! I stepped on a frog!"
Banner: "Poor frog. Sorry frog!"
Banner: "I'm not tired! I'm sleepy!"
Banner: "Oh no! Mommy! There's bleed on my ear!"
Me: "[While walking to dinner] I need to pee."
Banner: "There's a tree over there, mama!"
Banner: "I no listen today, daddy."
Trev: "Why not?"
Banner: "Because I no want to."
In same "I no listen" vein...
Banner: "I had to sit on the wall today."
Banner: "I no listen."
Me: "Why not? You should listen to your teachers, Banner."
Banner: "But I just want to play!"
Me: "[After discovering that he had eaten four or five packages of gummy bunnies while stuffing Easter eggs] OMG! Did you just eat all these? No more gummy bunnies!"
Banner: "I know! No more left to eat! They all gone!"
|He is VERY good at puzzles.|
Me: "Banner, you look so handsome!
Banner: "[Giggling in an ah, shucks way] Stop it, mama!"
Me: "Banner eat your broccoli."
Banner: "[Moving the broccoli to my plate] No thank you!"
Trevor: "But Charlie loves broccoli! Charlie always eats his broccoli!"
Banner: "Well then Charlie can have it!"
Trevor: "Where's Banner? It's too quiet."
[Goes looking for him.]
Banner: "[Upon having the door to his bedroom opened and being discovered eating a bag of jellybeans he had stolen from his Easter basket] I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
Banner: "I like your shoes, Amy!"
Amy: "Thanks! They make me run fast!"
Banner: "[Referencing his flip flops] Oh, my shoes make me fall down."
Amy: "That's quite the superpower."
|Banner IS really good at drawing "robots".|
(That is a robot above. It has hair.)
Banner: "Daddy draw a castle!"
[Trevor proceeds to draw a castle with sidewalk chalk on the backyard patio]
Banner: "That's not a very good castle. You must not be a good drawer. Sorry 'bout that, daddy."
Trevor: "Get ready to take a shower or you are going to have to go straight to bed. I'm going to count to 3. 1...2..."
Banner: "Daddy! No count to three! I'm a big boy not a baby!"
Me: "C'mon buddy. You are stalling. Time for bed."
Banner: "No! I gotta potty! Big poo poo coming out!"
[Finally a small splash]
Banner: "[Looking a world's tiniest poop and considering it for a moment] Well, it felt a lot bigger."
Anni: "[Referencing photo above via text] Please tell me that's a pickle and not a log of poo."
Me: "He dropped that pickle on the floor, wrestled it away from the dog and just ate it. I watched the whole thing. #proud parent."
Anni: "That's amazing."
Me: "The alternative was the dog eating it which would have been cause for a meltdown. I was torn. If he won, the pickle had totally been licked by the dog. If he lost, meltdown. Parenting is hard."
|It is official. |
Banner is the youngest Gordon Lightfoot fan on the planet.
Trevor: "Banner, I don't think your socks match. One comes up to your knee and the other doesn't."
Banner: "Yes, they do, daddy."
Trevor: "What is on that foot."
Trevor: "And that foot?"
Banner: "An eyeball."
Trevor: "See? They aren't the same!"
Banner: "Yes, they are! "
Trevor: "I don't think you understand what 'same' means, buddy."
Banner: "No, YOU no understand, daddy."
|Trevor: "I told him to go put on a hat and this happened. I'm just going with it."|
Me: "Does this dress make mama look pretty?"Banner: "No, but I can go get you a sticker. That will help."
The next day...
Banner: "Mama, why you no wear this dress?"
Me: "I just couldn't get it to look right."Banner: "Well, it much prettier than that dress you wearing now."
Banner: "Here some stickers, mama! I make you look pretty for dinner."Me: "Thanks, buddy! But I just got out of the shower. They won't stick to me right now."
[Banner proceeds to try and stick stickers on me anyway.]
Me: "You know what, why don't you go ahead and decorate this shirt and I'll wear it to dinner?"
Banner: "Okay, mama."
[Upon leaving the house for dinner with Mimi and Baa...]
Trevor: "Wow. So...uh. That's a lot of stickers."Me: "Yeah, I wasn't going to wear this shirt, but Banner went to so much trouble to make me look nice."
Trevor: "Banner, did you make mommy look pretty?"Banner: "Yep. She pretty now. I have to use A LOT of stickers."
|Riding to the park clearly requires driving gloves.|
Banner: "Old MacDonald had a farm! E-I-E-I-O!"
Me: "Buddy, it isn't nice to sing at the dinner table."
Banner: "Why not?"
Trevor: "Because it might bother the people at the other tables."
Me: "We can have a singing party in the car on the way home, if you want."
Banner: "But I want to sing now! I might not want to later."