By “curvy” do you mean “fat”?

I had my first wedding dress fitting today. I’m not sure what I would have done if my friend (and bridesmaid), Mandy, wasn’t able to be there. Because, really, DO the shoes look okay with the dress? How much boobage is too much boobage? And do I really walk THAT weird in flats?

I do everything by committee nowadays.

In the end, though, only a little blood was shed (yes, blood WAS shed. A pin caught me on the way out of the dress – who said this was going to be a painless process?!), and I’m off the hook for a few weeks until fitting number two. Until then, I am under strict orders not to gain or lose an ounce. Did I mention that I tend to lose weight when under stress? When I moved in May, I lost five pounds. When I was a deb way, way, WAY back in 2001 they had to do an emergency fitting to keep me from flashing the masses during my full court bow.

Not that my physical body ever really changes. I’ve been the same size for the last fifteen years or so (yes, the aforementioned deb gown still fits) – I just randomly lose weight in areas that effect the way a dress hangs on my frame. And now that I’ve vocalized that here on my blog, my body will most likely do something else that I’m not expecting. Because my body and I are rarely on speaking terms anyway, and it likes to go traitor on me and do things to keep me on my toes. Like today, for example. My neck and upper back are killing me. Why? I dunno. But it sucks – especially when driving and changing lanes. I think it is my body’s way of reminding me that thirty is just over a year away, and my warranty ran out a good ten years ago.

Blah.

Sometimes it is hard being me...

Part of me thinks it would kind of be cool if the people around me spontaneously broke into dance.

The other part knows I'd be annoyed. Mainly because I can't dance and was once injured while trying to do the Macarena at a summer camp mixer when I was twelve.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

We took Haskell to the Park Cities Forth of July parade this morning. He got so many dog biscuits thrown at him from the participating floats that he started picking them up and bringing them to me for “safe keeping”. Never thought Haskell would opt not to eat something – especially cookies!

We left Alley at home to take care of Gypsy, who is back in the lampshade. On Thursday evening, I discovered blood in her stool. A trip to the vet Friday morning revealed that she has something called “Colitis”. No one knows what caused it. It might have been something she ate or got in to. Or it could have been brought on by stress – possibly over the sprinkler installation that has been going on in the yard all week.

Additionally, both of her back paws are infected. This is due to her allergies. I knew she had been chewing on the more than normal, but I had been giving her regular doses of Benadryl in an effort to keep it under control. Apparently this time, though, the Benadryl wasn’t enough. So in addition to the medicine and special food she is taking to fix the Colitis, Gypsy is also on a pretty heft dose of Temaril-p – a prescription allergy medication with a steroid. The vet also shaved in between the pads on her back paws, and gave me a prescription ointment to apply twice a day (hence the reason for her sporting the Elizabethan collar).

Poor baby.

This afternoon we are heading to Cedar Hill for the evening. My mother just moved there and has a house overlooking Lake Joe Pool. We’ve started referring to it as “The Resort” because her property includes such amities as a salt water pool, tennis and basketball courts, and a helicopter pad. Because everyone needs a helipad, right?!

Anyway, my mom has headed to Durango for the holiday, so we’ve got the place to ourselves. Things have been so crazy lately that I’m looking forward to a bit of rest and relaxation. So are our pups. And thanks to all the planned fireworks displays around the lake, we should have a pretty good view of those as well.

Happy Independence Day!

On shoes for the bridesmaids...

Despite a genetic predisposition for the love of shoes, I find myself completely disinterested in them. I'd wear my Birkenstocks year-round if I could.

So you can imagine what it was like to take me shoe shopping. Avia and Mandy deserve some kind of medal, I swear. They both have the patience of saints.

Here are some shoe possibilities from DSW:










Even though the charcoal and ivory dresses are a satiny material, I see no reason to go all out and dye shoes to match. I'd much rather have the bridesmaids buy something comfortable that they'd want to wear again. A black, strappy sandal seems like an important staple in any wardrobe. And it is not like any of the shoes will be all that visible under the floor length skirts in the first place.

I'm sure this fashion faux pas will land me an eternity in shoe shopping hell. I apologize if this post is causing any dead, famous shoe designers to roll in their graves. I guess I’m a hopeless case. I would totally have the entire bridal party in flip flops if I thought I could get away with it!

Hehe...

I’m saw this on THINK TONK and it totally cracked me up.

Enjoy:

On teachers (or at least teachers that work over the summer)...

Teachers are insane. Or maybe I’m insane for dealing with them. Or at least the ones crazy enough to still be working in July. Whatever happened to summer vacation?

STORY I: A certain school had a program in April that was partially funded by a group called AP. AP paid for just over half of the $250 fee. The school was responsible for the rest. I was promised repeatedly that the money was coming, but the school’s half never arrived. So, I started sending firm letters to the school’s principle. This resulted in a check being cut for the amount in question. Unfortunately for us, the check was made out to AP and mailed to AP’s parent group, BT - even though the invoice was from my museum and clearly stated that all checks should be made out to us and sent to OUR mailing address.

Oh, and since the AP and BT offices are run by a bunch of monkeys, the money has gone astray.

STORY II: A teacher wants us to coordinate bus tours for two groups of middle schoolers in July and August. But she wants nothing to do with the planning and refuses to even choose a topic for the tour (note: we offer over 20 different tours, so I could use some help narrowing down an appropriate tour focus). Her last email literally said (and yes I am quoting here), “Sorry it took me a while to get back to you. I've been out of the office. Anyway, would it be alright if we looked to y'all to come up with a tour that would be best fit for the kids? You're the expert! So if we could just show up and enjoy that would be terrific!”

Really?!

STORY III: A summer camp wanted the museum to come out and teach the kids over a two week period, but they gave us very little heads up (they called us on Thursday for a camp scheduled to start on Tuesday). Thinking of it as an interesting challenge, a teacher friend of mine and I developed the curriculum, bought supplies and implemented the program for a small group of local middle school students.

Originally, the program’s cumulating event was scheduled for July 2nd, but then last week it was changed to July 1st. And on June 30th, it changed back to July 2nd. So, the summer camp’s obviously a well-organized machine. Right...I’m glad you are going along with me on that.

Anyway, we conducted videotaped interviews on Tuesday (yes, that would be June 30th, 2009), and I received an email late the same afternoon asking if the interviews would be edited and ready for public viewing on Thursday morning. I think the actual language was, “Will the interviews taped today be turned into a documentary for Thursday’s cumulating event for the parents?”

Um, no.

I wrote back saying that we had the technology to capture the interviews, but not to string them together and turn them into documentary films. Especially, on such short notice.

This prompted a phone call where the teacher asked if there was anything I would be able to show during Thursday’s event. For the children.

When did I become such a sucker?

Me: “I can probably have the rough footage available for the participating students and their parents to view Thursday morning. We just don’t have the technology to turn it into a documentary or proper video presentation in less than 48 hours.”

Teacher: “That’s fine. Can we project it on the big screen in front of the entire school?”

Me: “Um, I guess.”

Teacher: “Great! Do you have a projector?”

Me: “Actually, no. The museum just bought a Mac for this project, and we don’t have a projector that is compatible with it or an adapter. Do you have a Mac-ready projector we can use? Or a cord adapter?”

Teacher: “I think so.”

Me: “Okay, think we are good to go then.”

Teacher: “Great!”

Then, today, the teacher emailed me again asking if I could bring a projector. And a screen.

Whaaaaat? Wait a minute!

I wrote her back, and reminded her of my problem with the Mac and the compatibility problems with our projector. As for the screen, the museum has one, but its location (thanks to the renovations) is a bit of a mystery at the moment. I promised her I would look for it, though (which I did this afternoon with no luck).

I received an email back from the teacher stating that she forgot about the compatibility issue and would check around to see what she could come up with. She eluded to a couple of her coworkers that were Mac users and might have a projector or adapter I could borrow.

I brought the laptop home and have been working tonight to figure out the finer details of operating a Mac and iMovie (I’ve never used a Mac before, so there is a bit of a learning curve). While the Tuesday's interview footage was downloading, I logged into my work email and discovered yet another email from the lead teacher. It was time stamped at 7:30 PM:

“I think we have found a projector, but we need to know if you have a Mac cord.”

...?!?!

I wrote her back and explained (yet again) the problem with the Mac and the projector.

Of course, since my email was sent at 9:15 PM, it is doubtful that she’ll see it before tomorrow morning.

Did I mention that the museum is providing this entire program completely free of charge? No? Yeah. We are getting paid absolutely nothing to deal with this nonsense.

Awesome.

The good news is that the footage is downloaded and ready to be seen - if only from a computer screen. Hopefully, that will be enough for the students and their adoring parents. If I didn’t have to be at the school before 9 AM tomorrow morning, I would totally go and buy a stupid adapter for the museum’s projector.

Grumble, grumble…

The long, holiday weekend cannot come soon enough.

Neither here nor there...

Typical interoffice correspondence:

From: Nora
Sent: Wednesday, July 01, 2009 3:44 PM
To: Deals
Subject: Hurts

My butt hurts.

Happy Canada Day!

“I am not a Starfleet commander, or T.J. Hooker. I don't live on Starship NCC-170, or own a phaser. And I don't know anybody named Bones, Sulu, or Spock. And no, I've never had green alien sex, though I'm sure it would be quite an evening. I speak English and French, not Klingon! I drink Labatt's, not Romulan ale! And when someone says to me 'Live long and prosper', I seriously mean it when I say, 'Get a life'. My doctor's name is not McCoy, it's Ginsberg. And tribbles were puppets, not real animals. PUPPETS! And when I speak, I never, ever talk like every. Word. Is. Its. Own. Sentence. I live in California, but I was raised in Montreal. And yes, I've gone where no man has gone before, but I was in Mexico and her father gave me permission! My name is William Shatner, and I am Canadian!”

- William Shatner