Blink, Blink...huh?!

Vacuous. Some people are just vacuous. I don't blame them. It is a disability. A bonafide handicap. But, come on, really?! I feel like my brain is leaking out of my ear, here! Work with me! Let me explain...

***

So, last week I receive a phone call at work from an organization who will be hosting a teacher conference at the museum where I work. The lady-in-question who called was nice enough, and we began to discuss the plans surrounding the upcoming event.

***

It is important to briefly segue away from the story at this point to fill in some important details. 1) The lady-in-question called me last Tuesday at 4 PM; 2) The teacher's conference was happening THE VERY NEXT DAY; 3) Up until this point I had DESPERATELY been trying to contact either the lady-in-question or the organization-in-question to get vital event "set up" details (not to mention details in general). Keeping points 1-3 in mind, let's return to the story...

***

Anyway, the lady-in-question began informing me of how many tables, chairs and other misc. items that she would be needing the next morning (i.e. A WHOLE, HECK OF A LOT). I am not in the Rentals Department, by the way. I am in the EDUCATION department. The lady-in-question was supposed to notify Rentals if she needed any elaborate set up (she hadn't). Then she told me that I needed to be at work to let her in NO LATER THAN 7:30 AM (work starts at 9 AM), and that she expected everything to be set up and ready to go when she arrived.

So, I was like...Great. This is going to be a disaster.

***

Yes, it is time for another segue/digression away from the storyline. It won't take long, I promise.

It is important to note that this event was being "comped" by MY department ("department", by the way, is misleading. I work at a VERY small museum, and represent the ENTIRE education "department"). The event was for teachers. I decided to "comp" the event, because teachers would come to the museum, see what we have to offer in terms of educational programming and - MOST IMPORTANTLY - because the lady-in-question had promised me that there would be absolutely NO setup required. We have this huge lecture hall that seats almost 400 people, and she told me that she wanted the conference to be held in there (no setup required. The chairs are a permanent fixture). The lady-in-question actually told me a month and a half before that she would be running EVERYTHING. That I would not have to ANYTHING except make sure the lights were on in the lecture hall. In fact, the only reason I had been so desperately trying to get in touch with her was because I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TIME THE EVENT WAS SCHEDULED TO BEGIN AND THEREFORE HAD NO IDEA WHAT TIME TO TURN ON THE STUPID LIGHTS!!

Now back to the story...

***

So, I'm trying to keep my cool with the lady-in-question over the phone. I even tell her that I can pull off the last minute setup, and that I will personally open the door for her when she arrives at 7:30 AM the next morning. It is at THIS moment when the lady-in-question starts one of the most RIDICULOUS conversations (and I quote) that I've EVER had:

"You sound surprised about all this. Didn't you get the host-site checklist that I sent out last Friday"?

"No, ma'am," I replied.

"Well, I sent it out via email. Are you sure that it never arrived?"

"No, ma'am. I'm looking at my email as we speak. I haven't received anything from you or your organization in over two weeks".

"Well, I know that I sent it last Friday," she insisted.

"Okay. I really don't know what to tell you. I never got it".

(And this is where the whole "vacuous" thing comes in to play. I SWEAR I am not making this up. Keep reading...)

The lady-in-question asks me (in all seriousness), "Well, why didn't you call to tell me that you never received it"?

I responded in the only way I knew how, "Ma'am, I didn't know that you were sending out a checklist".

But she insisted, "You still should have called me when you didn't receive it. I would have resent it".

At this point I REALLY don't know what to say. So, I actually tried to reason with her by saying, "If I didn't know that you were making a checklist in the first place, why would I call to say I never got it"?

AGGGGHHHH!!!

This got me absolutely NOwhere, and I ended up just agreeing with her so the conversation could end (keep in mind that I had hours of last minute setting up to do before I could go home).

Everything ended up going fine the next day, despite a few initial "issues" the next morning (for example, the lady-in-question did not show up until 8:45 AM. I was here at 7:30...just...waiting...to...open...the...door...for...HER...! Oh, and my PERSONAL favorite was when she made me move all of these tables around because she didn't like the way I had set them up the night before).

It all worked out in the end, though and the teachers had a really good experience (several even commented on how organized everything was, and how smoothly the day's events had gone. Oh, if only they knew...!).

After the day was over (and the lady-in-question had finally left) I told one of my coworkers about what she had told me the day before. He told me that I should have asked her why she never call me on my last birthday? Then, he said that I should respond (before she could answer) with, "Oh, wait! You don't know when my birthday is? So, why didn't you call"?!

The lady-in-question probably wouldn't get the joke, though.