So, earlier today, the NON DOMINANT TWIN (NDT) was in my office. We were discussing the layout of a project that we are currently working on together.
It is important to note (or preface, if you prefer) the subsequent episode with the following facts and/or information:
1) Both the NDT and I were both extremely over-caffeinated this morning.
2) Just like all things that go up, we had to come down from our caffeine high. Consequently, after lunch we both...well...crashed. Hard (because there is no such thing as a "soft landing" when you are coming off a sugar and/or caffeine high).
Here is the situation that transpired:
ME: [Banging elbow on desk...] "Ouch!"
NDT: "[Looking concerned...] "Oh, no! Are you okay?"
ME: [In a small, pathetic voice...] "Yeah. I guess so."
NDT: "Poor thing!"
ME: [Trying to kiss my injured elbow...] "Why is it that you cannot kiss your own elbow?"
NDT: [Looking curiously at her own elbow...] "You cannot kiss your elbow?"
ME: [Trying harder to kiss my elbow...] "Apparently not. I think I read it somewhere. In one of those chain emails or something."
NDT: "That's so strange. Are you sure?"
[Approximately 30 seconds of silence pass while NDT and I are both are engaged in the act of attempting to kiss our respective elbows.]
NDT: [Still trying to kiss her elbow...] "Can you pop your shoulder out of joint? Then maybe you'd be able to reach it."
ME: "No, no. My shoulder never pops out of joint when I want it to. It only dislocates when it is very, very inconvenient...like, when I am running or something."
NDT: "Oh, too bad."
[Long pause while we both continue to try to kiss our elbows.]
ME: [Now, trying energetically to lick my elbow...]
NDT: "Oh! Good idea...!" [Sticks out her tongue in an effort to lick her elbow.]
ME: "Well, at least I am a little closer..."
NDT: [Still trying to lick her elbow...] "Yeah, but I think you'd need a really long tongue to actually reach it."
ME: [Sounding dismayed...] "Alas. This is probably true."
[Long pause while we both consider "elbow kissing defeat"...]
ME: [Looking longingly at my elbow...] "Sigh..."
NDT: [Looking longingly at her elbow...] "Sigh..."
[NDT and I - simultaneously - realize what we have both BEEN doing.]
[NDT and I - simultaneously - realize how LONG we've both been engaged in trying (unsuccessfully) to kiss our elbows.]
[NDT and I - simultaneously - make eye contact (we are both still holding our elbows, by the way).]
[Both of us explode into laughter...]
Thank goodness that our boss (or anyone else, for that matter) didn't decide to walk past my office during this so-called incident. He might have called our intelligence in to question.
Which is so sad, because someone - not 48 hours ago - mentioned that he could tell that we were "intelligent" by our "witty banter".
Alas...
"...and He taketh away."
They should put a warning label on all caffeinated products:
"May cause stupidity. Drink at own risk."
7 comments:
You guys are a riot.
Crazy.
You know, NDT mentioned last night that she been overcaffeinated and then had crashed, but for some reason, she didn't mention this little episode.
I didn't feel compelled to mention it, for some reason.
The worst part was when we each realized what we were doing, and then looked at the other other one to see if she had noticed, and if not, could we maybe segue out of it without having to admit how stupidly we'd been behaving, but, ohno, she's realized it, too.
We actually had several little moments (much like this one) yesterday. It was amusing in the “oh-no-I-cannot-believe-I-just-did-that” kind of way.
Episodes like these – entertaining as they are – are probably pretty good predictions of the way we’d most likely interact if we were both highly intoxicated.
Sadly enough, though, we were both completely sober (and full of caffeine for that matter), so we cannot even blame alcohol for our…uh…interesting “lapses in intellect”.
No, no. We were, of course, just being…well…ourselves: completely unaffected.
Maybe people should all come with “disclaimers”. Mine would probably read, "May get lost walking in a straight line".
Is it weird that as I read this post I had a deep desire to see if I could in fact kiss or lick my elbow. Part of my brain (the stupid part) is trying to convince the smart part that even though this task is impossible I may just be the person to do it and then I could go on Leno and Letterman and be that girl that can kiss her elbow. I resisted the urge but it was hard.
You make me laugh.
FYI, I've had five or six people admit that - after reading this posting - they tried to kiss their elbow (they were, of course, unsuccessful). I'm so glad that elbow-kissing stupidity is contagious!
Oh, and by the way, JLR also tried to kiss her elbow after reading the post. She'd never admit it to anyone (except, of course, RR who totally sold her out). Hehe...
Just so you know, it is actually possible to lick your own elbow - I can! (follow that link for visual proof)
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