- I was going to bed early.
- I was not going to show before bed, like I normally do.
- I was going to wake up early and go to the gym.
- I would shower when I got back home.
Now, because Trevor was reading while I told him all of this information, I repeated it twice before turning in for the night. My hope was that he would somehow absorb it all, and not be confused (or surprised) by any of it.
Futile, I know.
How is that boys can look like they are listening carefully and processing information (nodding and saying, “Uh huh” and “Okay” in all the right places), and yet somehow not be paying attention at all? It completely fascinates me.
Anyway, on with the story:
So, I go to bed and sleep blissfully undisturbed for almost an hour before Trevor opens the door and stumbles in. Apparently confused by the lack of light or movement in room, Trevor exclaims, “Oh! Are you sleeping?”
Now, because I think the answer to this question is obvious, I decide not to respond. That is until I hear Trevor ask again, “So? Are you? Sleeping?”
In my head I have all sorts of witty answers to this question, like: “No. I just decided to lie on my bed in the dark and count shadows on the wall” and “Sleeping? No! The power just blinked off in this room, and I was trying to feel my way out when you walked in”! Of course, all I actually said was, “YES! SLEEPING! GO AWAY!”
Trevor’s response: “Oh. Sorry. So, uh, are you going to shower tonight?”
Me: "..."
Trevor: "Well?"
Me: “Are you kidding?”
Trevor: “What?”
Me: “No. No shower tonight. Going to work out first thing in the morning.”
Trevor: “Oh.”
Cut to this morning: I woke up and started getting ready for the gym. Trevor, who was also getting up at the same time, turned to me and asked, “You headed for the shower?”
Again, in my head, sarcastic-me snaps back, “Yeah. Headed for the shower. Just let me finish putting on my running shoes and I’ll race you there!” Naturally, all I really said was, “I’m going to the gym this morning, remember?”
Trevor’s response: “Oh. Right. So, are you going to shower first?”
Me: “Uh, no. I tend to shower after the gym. Call me crazy.”
Trevor: “Jeez! Okay! I get the point!”
Me: “Obviously.”
Seriously, why do I waste my breath articulating anything at all?
Maybe next time I'll make Trevor a “stupid sign” like in Bill Engvall’s comedy routines. Then, when Trevor says something like, “Are you sleeping,” I can simply hand him the sign, roll over and go back to bed.
Sigh. Stupid boys...
Can't live with 'em. Can't live without 'em.
5 comments:
He really doesn't seem that slow. . . hmmmm.
But if he was reading Harry Potter, that would totally make sense!
He was actually reading about organizational psychology. He had his first class of the semester last night, so Wednesday night was spent preparing for it (he has one of those professors that assign homework in preparation for the first class).
Considering the subject matter, an excuse – any excuse – to stop reading should have been a Godsend…
Men have been conditioned to listen, but ineffectively conditioned to understand. We've worked on listening for so long and not solving, that we don't care about what you say.
Now if you had walked in naked, giggled your booty and breasts in front of Trev and said, "No shower tonight and I'm working out so no shower in the morning. And BTW I'm going to bed."
He would have heard and understood perfectly.
~Jef
See, I don't know... I bet we actually COULD live without them. But what would we blog about then? Jeff does the same exact thing, and it drives me absolutely insane.
Focus!
The ability to remain focused is a wonderful thing. Sometimes said to be a male trait; women are the multitaskers.
Darn. I can't do either.
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