A quick note from The Management...

To WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,

Please note the following:

1. Tony the Tiger’s nose is blue. No, this does not make him some sort of freak.



2. Slim Pickens was the name of an actual person.



3. Finland is south of Norway (or south of “Horny” if you are Trevor).



4. A football field is wider than 18 yards.



5. B.J. and the Bear did not spin off from Bananas in Pajamas.

Thank you,

THE MANAGEMENT

Deep Thoughts (or not)...

I know, I know. “Stuffed” was spelled this way on purpose. I find it distracting, though.

It’s not like the Chick-fil-a ads with the cute cows. Cows misspelling words is effective advertising. They are cows, after all. It’s amazing they know English in the first place. And they can write, too! Those are some brillant bovines!

Anyway, those are my thoughts on this important issue. I know you are thrilled…

Trevorisms (British style)...

At a London-themed party last night:

Trevor: “I want to steal a British flag.”

Me: “Quick! What is the flag’s nickname?”

Trevor: “A ‘Handy Jack’?”

Me: “Union Jack, Trevor. Union Jack.”

Trevorisms...

Trevor keeps referring to Sherpas as “Sharpies”. It's been coming up a lot in conversation recently because of Trevor's fascination with the show EVEREST on the Discovery Channel.

Sigh.

For any Sherpas out there, I apologize.

On turkeys, Indian costumes and (of course) the homeless...

Recently, the following question was posed at Pub Quiz:

“What percentage of all turkeys in the United States are consumed on Thanksgiving? One tenth? One half? Or one forth?”

The correct answer is (of course) one forth.

My team, however, responded with: one half.

Why? Well, a CERTAIN SOMEONE convinced the ENTIRE team (myself excluded) that it had to be one half, because…

(Wait for it, wait for it)

…even the homeless eat turkey on Thanksgiving.

Yes. The homeless. That was the rationale.

(Shakes head)

I tried to convince my fellow teammates that one half HAD to be too many. People in the United States eat turkey regularly throughout the year. Not just on Thanksgiving. In fact, I had consumed a turkey sandwich for lunch that very afternoon.

It all fell on deaf ears. I blame the homeless.

Grrrrrr…

In other news, here is a picture I found of my father as a small boy:


He is dressed as a Native American. Totally cracks me up. Now we know where Gypsy Kitty got the idea for her Halloween costume this year.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!

Thanksgiving Trip to the Ranch (Part II)…

Thanksgiving Trip to the Ranch (Part I)…

Your wish is my command...

Since I've had so many requests for a video of my sister's bow, I decided to make a YouTube event out of it. So, without further ado, here’s Amy:

Special thanks to my cousin, Lindsey, who took some of the pictures featured in the video (read: I brazenly stole images off her website). You're awesome, babe!

I've been PUBLISHED!

It's true!

Even more surprising? I'm a published ARTIST!

I KNOW!!!!

Bet you weren't EVEN aware that I dabble in the fine arts, huh?! Well, I do and now I’ve been discovered! YIPPEE!

Want to see my work?

CLICK HERE…

REDRUM! REDRUM!

For those of you who know JLR and RR, don’t you think they could totally be the twins from THE SHINNING?

Yeah?! Me, too! I’m glad you are going along with me on this.

Also, RR? She’s the one on the right. It would be perfect if she were sniffing a pink Easter egg. Or flower. Or whatever.

True to form, JLR looks like she's about to open up a can of whoopa$$. Typical. So typical. Guess she can't help it, though. She's a LAW-YUR.

Dancing shoes...

Yes. That WAS my Saturday night...

Am I the only one who thinks this?

Does anyone know if Oliver (as in “Twist” from the Charles Dickens novel) grew up to be Chef Boyardee?

As I type this, I know it sounds ridiculous. Why would anyone use a literary figure, like Oliver, to sell canned pastas, microwave food, pizza and meal kits? It’s just that I’ve (apparently) ALWAYS thought that the two were the same until, well, this afternoon and I don’t know why.

Did Oliver even grow up to be a chef? I'm thinking no.

Hmmmmm...

Somehow this is all RR's fault. I just know it.

UPDATE: A coworker just mentioned to me that there once was a commercial for Chef Boyardee that used the character of Oliver Twist and the famous quote, "Please Sir, can I have some more?," to sell either canned soup or spaghetti and meatballs.

Interesting. Perhaps this commercial is the root of my confusion?

In the realm of: "Thank you, Jesus!"

Melissa just sent me the following article:

“X-Files" stars, crew reunite for secretive sequel

By Leslie Simmons Thu Nov 1, 3:21 AM ET

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Fans of "The X-Files" no longer have to rely on Internet rumors to seek the truth about a sequel to the 1998 movie based on the popular TV series.

On Wednesday, Fox announced production will start December 10 on the sequel, which reunites the show's stars, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. The studio also picked July 25 as the U.S. release date.

Series creator Chris Carter will direct the still-untitled film. Carter also co-wrote the screenplay with "X-Files" veteran Frank Spotnitz. The duo also are producing. Shooting will take place in Vancouver.

The studio is staying little about the film's story line. All that is being revealed is that it is a "supernatural thriller" and that the movie will take the complicated relationship between FBI agents Fox Mulder (Duchovny) and Dana Scully (Anderson) in unexpected directions as Mulder continues on his quest for the truth and Scully remains inextricably tied to her partner's pursuits.

The July 25 release date would put "X-Files" up against "Step Brothers," a comedy starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly, and an untitled comedy starring Ice Cube.
Fox's "X-Files" ran for nine seasons, ending in 2002. The first feature film, produced by Carter and co-written with Spotnitz, grossed $187 million worldwide.

Reuters/Hollywood Reporter

If I was any more excited about this, I'd probably pee myself.