Caution: Read At Your Own Risk!

This is absolutely REVOLTING, but I have to share (you just can’t keep things like this to yourself).

I normally use the restroom located just off the museum’s board room when (ahem) nature calls. My office is relatively close to the board room, and it keeps me from having to leave the secure employee area for the staff bathroom on the far end of one of the museum’s galleries.

However, this morning there was an interview going on in the board room, which kept me from accessing my normal facility. Thanks to two cups of coffee and a large glass of water, waiting for the interview to be over was not an option. Consequently, I opted to head down the hall to the staff bathroom (lest I explode).

Upon entering the staff restroom (which is unisex, by the way), it was clear that someone had deposited a “major package” at some point in the not so distant past. This someone had gone to great lengths to cover up the odor by spraying a whole heck of a lot of air freshener in the small, poorly ventilated room. Despite the overwhelming smell of condensed potpourri (coupled with the unmistakable aroma of poo just below the surface), I appreciated the effort made to disguise what must have been quite the stench.

Without further ado, I quickly got around to completing my business (i.e. peeing). And was in the process of reaching for the toilet paper when I stopped dead in my tracks. On the first sheet/square of toilet tissue - right smack dab in the center - was a perfectly formed thumb print…IN POO.

This discovery was followed by much gagging.

I briefly considered the careful removal of the incriminating evidence for thumb print analysis. Mainly because I really want to know WHO left it there. Because – EW! Whose bathroom etiquette is SO lacking that thumb prints in poo are left behind? That person should be subjected to…well, SOMETHING! A mild beating, perhaps? Or, at least, public humiliation!

In the end, I simply removed the square in question (along with almost half the remaining roll. I didn’t want to risk missing any more evidence!), and flushed it down the commode.

I just hope that whoever left the thumb print washed his/her hands thoroughly before leaving (I know I did!).

Oy, gag, gag, gag!

I swear…some people!