If you give a duck a cookie...

Today was spent on a bus touring Dallas with a local group of realtors.

The tour was focused on neighborhoods in a specific part of town – an area many of the attendees were unfamiliar with. So, as part of the tour, we arranged for the tour attendees to have coffee and cookies next to a picturesque lake in a part of Dallas many of the realtors had never heard of, much less visited.

See? Pretty.

Around the lake was a wide array of water fowl – most of which had no fear of people. In fact, the second we got off the bus, most of the birds came waddling up to greet us. If you got too close, though, they backed up. Interested, but still wary of the visiting group of humans.

Hi. I'm a good duck.

And then there was this ballsy little ba$tard:

Feed me.

This particular duck was not about to wait around for a hand out. Oh, no, no. This duck waddled right up to the table and attempted to steal a cookie. So, I was called in to stand guard.


I felt bad for him, though. He was obviously starving (or, at least, HE thought he was). Plus, he was quacking up a storm and making it difficult for the attendees to listen to the spiel about the neighborhood. So, I broke off a tiny piece of my cookie and tossed it to him.

Well, my cookie crumb did nothing to curb his appetite.

Figuring he’d never take a piece of cookie directly out of my hand, I offered him a slightly bigger crumb. Without a moment’s hesitation, the duck plucked it from my palm.

Then, things got a little hairy.

Piggy duck would not be satisfied with the mere crumbs I was offering him. He wanted more cookie, and he wanted it NOW. Without warning the duck suddenly charged me with his wings out, squawking loudly, and BIT me on the leg.

Since I was not expecting to be attacked by a duck, I accidentally dropped the rest of my cookie on the ground. When I stooped to retrieve it, though, evil duck came at me again. Not wanting to be the victim of another waddle-by-pecking, I stepped back – officially surrendering my cookie to feathery little ba$tard.

And, for the record, ducks bite hard. Granted, they have no teeth, but those beaks act like pinchers. I have a bruise on my shin to prove it.