The Bachelorette Party…

“Like other parties of the kind, it was first silent, then talky, then argumentative, then disputatious, then unintelligible, then altogether, then inarticulate, and then drunk. When we had reached the last step of this glorious ladder, it was difficult to get down again without stumbling!”

- George Gordon Byron

Just incase there was any doubt, I have the best girlfriends anyone could ever ask for.

On Saturday, August 15th, I was surprised with a completely unexpected bachelorette party.

When it comes to surprises, I’m not known for my cooperation. After all, as in most cases of surprise, I was clueless. How was I supposed to know that making a 11:30 AM nail appointment on Saturday would cause Trevor to bolt from the shower, run into the living room in nothing but a towel dripping water everywhere, grab his cell phone and announce that he his brother RIGHT THEN?

Of course, I would find out later that Trevor’s one job Saturday was to NOT lose me. No wonder my curtsy announcement of, “I’m leaving!” caused him to panic!

So, even though I had a feeling that something was up, I had no idea that I’d walk into a different nail salon an hour and a half later and find so many of my friends waiting to surprise me. Or that they’d have the next twelve hours of my life filled with fabulous food, people and fun!

This is my bachelorette hat from the back.
Anni did a great job with the veil!

So, I cried. Because that is what I do when I am surprised and touched all at the same time. And, well, it was also one of those moments when I realized that I not only had friends, but they liked me, too! Trevor mocked me about this later. Apparently, I am paranoid.

My Shirt...

Anyway, the day started off at a nail salon in East Dallas, where we all got mani/pedis while munching on cheese, crackers and olives while drinking wine. Wine, might I add that my friend Mandy picked up. This might not sound like news unless you’ve met Mandy – who, at 95 pounds, rarely, if ever, drinks and has been known to spit out Communion Wine at the alter. It was a big deal.

Pretty Toes!

Nails were followed by a few rounds of Bride Bingo at my house. I was having too much fun to pay attention, much less win. My personal favorite moment? When JLR discovered that RR had “bingoed” (or in this case “brided”), but didn’t announce it because RR had already won a round and was keeping quiet in the hopes JLR would be victorious. Those two, I swear!

Heading to dinner...

Bingo was followed by dinner at Kona Grill (yum, sushi). Our server, Chester, doted on us and made such an impression on the group that he was asked to sign my giant card. I’d tell you what he said, but the card was whisked away by one of my bridesmaids before I could read any of the comments. I have a feeling it will reemerge later on, though. No worries.

After dinner, the group relocated to Pete’s Dueling Piano Bar in Addison. The place was packed, but fun. And thanks to Anni, I ended up on stage. Have I ever mentioned that I can’t dance? Or maybe it is that I don’t know how to dance when the announcer tells me to dance dirty? And, really, how does one dance to Baby Got Back? Especially, someone who’s bootie shakes when she’s trying to shimmy? Oh, wait. I guess I should have tried to shimmy up there. Oops.

Luckily, I wasn’t the only one up on stage, and the lady next to me was more than willing to use me as her pole since I was doing more standing than dancing anyway. And, for the record, being used as a pole by a strange woman was much, much better than having my a$$ grabbed by random bar goers. Apparently, nothing makes men want to grab your bootie more than wearing a pink cowboy hat with a veil. And sometimes “grabbing” was more “pinching” than anything else. I still have the faded bruises on my posterior to prove it!

See my pink hat?
That's me during my brief tenure as a human stripper pole.

All in all, my bachelorette party was a blast. I keep tearing up while writing this post (again with all the drop-of-a-hat waterworks!). I am a lucky girl with the best(est) friends in the world!

Now, we just have to get the guys to take Trevor to look at boobies and we will be all set!