Why I don't get paid enough to deal with teachers...

Today I had to call a DISD elementary school about a program voucher that is scheduled to expire at the end of the month.

All names and places have changed to protect the identities of those involved. However, for simplicity's sake, let's call the school "Mooseville Elementary" and the teacher "Alice Hooverton".

[Ring, Ring, Ring]

Receptionist: "Mooseville Elementary."

Me: "Hi. Is Alice Hooverton available?"

Receptionist: "One moment please."

I thought the receptionist was going to transfer me, so I was surprised to realize that I was on hold. Except she forgot to hit the HOLD button, so I was essentially left sitting on her desk listening to all the school-related gossip and drama. In the twenty minutes - yes, TWENTY minutes - that I was on hold I learned a variety of interesting facts. Like, for instance, the receptionist had a cold but didn't want to go to the doctor. The rest of the office seemed to agree that the longer the sick receptionist stuck around, the more likely that she would infect the entire school just in time for Thanksgiving. There was much snarkiness, but either the receptionist didn't care or was oblivious to the feelings of her coworkers.

SImilarly, I was privy to all the details surrounding some trivial feud between a couple of 4th grade teachers. Who knew adults could be so juvenile.

Finally, however, the receptionist realized that I was still on the line. This was accomplished when she went to make a call to order lunch, and I WAS STILL THERE!

Receptionist: "Hello?"

Me: "Oh, hi. I am holding for Ms. Hooverton."

Receptionist: "You are still on the line?!"

Me: "Um...yeah. You told me to hold."

Receptionist: "Oh, sorry. I'll transfer you right now."

And that is when she transferred me to an extension that was no longer in use, and I was promptly disconnected.

So I called back.

Receptionist: "Mooseville Elementary."

Me: "Hi. I was just holding for Ms. Hooverton, and was accidentally transferred to a line that has been disconnected."

Receptionist: "Oh, yeah. I am sorry about that. It is just that there is not a Ms. Hooverton at this school."

Me: "Oh...?"

Receptionist: "It is hard to transfer you to someone that doesn't work here, you know."

Me: "Right. Well, see I have an AP voucher that is scheduled to expire at the end of the month for a 'Patrick Henry' performance. I just need the approval code to keep the voucher 'alive' after the end of the month. Is there someone that might have that information?"

Receptionist: "Well, why didn't you say so? Let me put you on hold for a second while I ask around the office."

Me: "Um, okay."

This time I really was on hold, but only for about ten minutes. When she returned:

Receptionist: "Hello?"

Me: "Hi. I am still here."

Receptionist: "I am sorry to tell you this, but there isn't a Patrick Henry teaching here either."

Me: "Wait. What? No, no. The program is called 'Patrick Henry! I was looking for a Ms. Hooverton or a teacher that could give me the approval code for voucher number [blah, blah, blah]."

Receptionist: "Oh well, Ms. Hooverton works for BT and is only here a couple of times a week."

Me: "But she does work there?"

Receptionist: "Oh, yeah. She's just not here now."

Me: "Okay, um, well, is there anyone else that might have the AP approval code? The 'Patrick Henry' program is usually booked for 5th grade history students. Is there a 5th grade history teacher that might have that sort of information?"

Receptionist: "Any 5th grade history teacher?"

Me: "Well, I'd prefer one that might know the voucher approval code."

Receptionist: "Hmmm...why don't I just get Ms. Hooverton to call you back?"

Me: "See...you told me she didn't work there earlier, so - I am sorry - I am just a little confused."

Receptionist: "Well, that is what we do when people call for her."

Me: "Oh?"

Receptionist: "So...you want to leave her a message?"

There are many things wrong with this conversation. But - for me - the worst was when Ms. Hooverton called me back THREE DAYS LATER and left a message on my voicemail. And, in her message, she only gave me the voucher number - which I already knew - but forgot the all important approval code. So I am really no better off than I started. Hence, the title of this post.

Bleh...