An update on Lucy...

From: Deals
Sent: Wednesday, April 09, 2008 2:55 PM
To: Tracy
Cc: Melissa
Subject: About Lucy (yes, again)...

Dear Tracy,

I am deeply saddened by the lack of improvement when it comes to Miss Lucy’s standard of living at the museum. In the past few weeks, I have been made aware of the following unacceptable situations:

• March 6th: Lucy nearly freezes to death as temperatures in the DFW area plummet to below freezing. Wet and shivering, poor Lucy is forced to stand outside (sans coat, scarf, boots, or heating pads) in the driving wind as ice pellets and snow flakes nip and sting at her sensitive hide.



• March 18th: Lucy’s already grim surroundings down at the farmstead flood. Despite the near constant downpour, Miss Lucy is left outside for HOURS without a raincoat, goulashes, umbrella or meager shelter of any kind. Only AFTER the wooly yard art began to LITERATELY float away does Miss Lucy get relocated to higher ground. And by “higher ground” I really mean “chateau Nip and Tuck” where poor Lucy is forced to stand in muddy donkey filth – adding much suffering to an already miserable situation.



• March 19th: Despite the flood the day before, Lucy is forcibly returned to her muddy paddock where she wallows in muck until things SLOWLY dry out…over a period of days. DAYS!



• April 5th: As if the insult of not being invited to the GONE TO TEXAS gala was not enough, Lucy is shocked to learn that beef (BEEF!) was served at the event. The shame! Not even the chickens had to endure such horrible news (as no chicken was served at the fundraiser). With a heavy heart, Lucy considers applying for a position at Chick-fil-A as one of the “Eat More Chicken” cows. Sadly, she learns that the only openings are for black and white dairy cows. Depressed and feeling discriminated against because of her natural coloring (and all beef ribs), Lucy cries herself to sleep.

It would be in DHV’s best interest to treat Miss Lucy better. Just this morning I learned of a farmer on the TODAY SHOW who pampers his bovine employees for SOUND BUSINESS REASONS. Happy cows make happy profits! If you don’t believe me, please click on HERE. Keep in mind that Miss Lucy has NEVER asked for something as luxurious as a waterbed. That said, she would never turn one down if one was provided to her (which I think should be. AT ONCE!).

Sincerely,
Lucy’s #1 Fan