Bitten...

"Look, you fools. You're in danger. Can't you see? They're after you. They're after all of us. Our wives, our children, everyone. They're here already. YOU'RE NEXT!

- Dr. Miles Bennell, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, 1956

My ear hurts.

My left ear specifically.

On Monday it itched like crazy. It took two mirrors and a whole lot of neck craning to confirm that something bit me IN my ear. This worries me greatly because I’d like to think I’d notice a bug flying or crawling in or near my ear…unless I was asleep or otherwise knocked unconscious. And the thought of something bug or spider-like hanging out IN my ear while I am asleep does nothing but freak me. I haven’t slept well since the night I acquired the bite because I keep envisioning evil bugs and spiders just waiting for me to fall asleep before crawling all over me (in and out of my ear, in my month and out my nose, etc.). I think I need to call Terminex.

Anyway, my ear started to itch less and hurt more yesterday, and today it just plain aches. My entire left ear is bright red, and I think the bite may be infected. Another round of mirrors and neck craning this morning revealed that the bite now looks more like a zit, which – other than hurting a whole heck of a lot – is just plain gross.

Well, gross and disconcerting. I keep thinking back to this stupid scary story I read one summer at sleep away camp. This girl got bitten by a spider on her cheek while she was sleeping. But when she woke up, she assumed that the bite was just a zit and covered it with makeup. Every day the “zit” got bigger and bigger – until one day it finally popped and out came hundreds and hundreds of baby spiders. Even though I seriously doubt my ear is currently incubating a nest of tiny arachnids, I still find myself considering where the spiders would go if they hatched out of the inflamed bump in my ear. Mainly, how many would first venture down my ear canal? Like it wouldn’t be bad enough that my ear zit/bug bite just ruptured and a gazillion baby spiders were suddenly crawling in my hair, over my face and down my clothes. No, no. I keep wondering what would happen if they went deep INTO my ear, and imagining the noises they’d make. Oh, horrors.

Then, during lunch, one of the museum volunteers told me about a movie he saw once that bothered him for years afterwards. It was all about these insects that crawled into noses, mouths and ears of sleeping people, and proceeded to feed on their brains. Thanks, Martin. That’s JUST want I needed to hear. If I get a headache this afternoon I won’t be able to convince myself that it isn’t bugs slowly eating away at my brain.

In other words: I am not amused.