Friday, July 17, 2009
Note to self: If Auntie Mimi asks to see a pair of naughties you received at a co-ed wedding shower, just say, “No”. Otherwise, the next thing you hear will be the laughter as she holds them up for all to see. This will promptly be followed by the passing of the unmentionables around the room. Several, older female (i.e. 70+) party goers will try in vain to figure out "where all the stringy parts go" as their husbands look on and giggle like little school girls.
Oh, and your father? Yeah, he’ll capture the whole thing on film.
Your mother will be tricked in to looking inside the pink Vicky S bag. After your sister makes a completely inappropriate comment about all the future grandbabies that may be conceived wearing such an apparatus, Grammy Pammy will turn bright red, shove the naughties back into the bag with a look of disgusted horror, and excuse herself to go to the bathroom.
Meanwhile, you will still be seated at the front of the room, beat red and completely powerless over the situation.