Today is the kind of day when you get stuck behind a tractor going 7 mph in a 40...

Apparently, Lucy is off to live on a farm with midget bovines somewhere in east Texas:

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From: Melissa
Sent: Thursday, July 23, 2009 12:13 PM
To: Deals
Subject: FW: Goodbye Lucy

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From: Evelyn
Sent: Mon 7/20/2009 9:46 AM
To: Lucy’s coworkers
Subject: Goodbye Lucy

Lucy the cow is leaving today for her new home on the farm. That is not a euphemism for an unhappy end, she really is going to live in a pasture with room to run and play. She will live with other cows-miniature cows, so she can still be queen, and she should soon slim down and feel better.

Evelyn

Sigh…I can only hope that the mini cows will be better roommates than the wooly yard art she’s been forced to coexist with for the past several years.

And now, my goodbyes:

My dearest Lucy,

Sorry I didn’t get by before you left to give you an apple. I brought one in to work last week when I heard you were leaving, and intended to swing by for one last (bittersweet) visit. Alas! I am a coward. I’ve never been any good at saying goodbye. Rest assured, though. You will be missed. Especially by me.

May your cud taste sweeter as you start your new life far away from those two oversized jacka$$es.

Your number one fan,
Deals

Sniff! Dallas will never be the same…