Monday, June 04, 2007

And why not...?!


I had a close friend in college who was from the Green Mountain State. She was always poking fun at Texas, so I returned the favor by claiming that Vermont was part of Canada - not the U.S.

Guess I wasn't all that far off!



By JOHN CURRAN, Associated Press Writer
Mon. Jun 4, 2:39 PM ET

MONTPELIER, Vt. - At Riverwalk Records, the all-vinyl music store just down the street from the state Capitol, the black "US Out of Vt.!" T-shirts are among the hottest sellers.

But to some people in Vermont, the idea is bigger than a $20 novelty. They want Vermont to secede from the United States — peacefully, of course.

Disillusioned by what they call an empire about to fall, a small cadre of writers and academics hopes to put the question before citizens in March. Eventually, they want to persuade state lawmakers to declare independence, returning Vermont to the status it held from 1777 to 1791.

Neither the state nor the U.S. Constitution explicitly forbids secession, but few people think it is politically viable.

"I always thought the Civil War settled that," said Russell Wheeler, a constitutional law expert at the Brookings Institution in Washington, D.C. If Vermont fought and won a war with the federal government, "then you could say Vermont proved the point. But that's not going to happen."

Still, the idea has found plenty of sympathetic ears in Vermont, a left-leaning state that said yes to civil unions, no to slavery (before any other) and last year elected a socialist to the U.S. Senate.

Supporters have published a "Green Mountain Manifesto" subtitled "Why and How Tiny Vermont Might Help Save America From Itself by Seceding from the Union."

In 2005, about 300 people turned out for a secession convention in the Statehouse, and plans for a second one are in the works. A poll this year by the University of Vermont's Center for Rural Studies found that 13 percent of those surveyed support secession, up from 8 percent a year before.

"The argument for secession is that the U.S. has become an empire that is essentially ungovernable — it's too big, it's too corrupt and it no longer serves the needs of its citizens," said Rob Williams, editor of Vermont Commons, a quarterly newspaper dedicated to secession.

"We have electoral fraud, rampant corporate corruption, a culture of militarism and war," Williams said. "If you care about democracy and self-governance and any kind of representative system, the only constitutional way to preserve what's left of the Republic is to peaceably take apart the empire."

Vermont, which was historically conservative, has evolved into one of the nation's most liberal states since the latter part of the 20th century, a tie-dyed bastion of countercultural dissent and New England self-reliance where folks wear their hearts — and their anti-war stickers — on their Subaru station wagon bumpers.

Secession movements have a long history. Key West, Fla., staged a mock secession from America in the 1980s. In Vermont, the town of Killington tried to break away and join New Hampshire in 2004, and Hawaii, Alaska, New Hampshire, South Carolina, and Texas all have some form of secession organizations today.

The Vermont movement has been simmering for years but gained new traction because of the Iraq war, rising oil prices and the formation of several pro-secession groups.

Secession supporters hope to have the question considered in March on Town Meeting Day, when voters gather to discuss state and local issues.

Thomas Naylor, 70, a retired Duke University economics professor and author, wrote the manifesto and founded a secession group called Second Vermont Republic.

His 112-page manifesto contains little explanation of how Vermont would make do without federal aid for security, education and social programs. Some in the movement foresee a Vermont with its own currency and passports, for example, and some form of representative government formed once the secession has taken place.

Frank Bryan, a professor at the University of Vermont who has championed the cause for years, said the cachet of secession would make the new republic a magnet.

"People would obviously relish coming to the Republic of Vermont, the Switzerland of North America," he said. "Christ, you couldn't keep them away."

The Middlebury Institute, a Cold Spring, N.Y., think tank, hosted a North American Separatist Convention last fall in Burlington that drew representatives from 16 organizations. The group is co-sponsoring another conference in October in Chattanooga, Tenn.

Of course, skeptics abound.

"It doesn't make economic sense, it doesn't make political sense, it doesn't make historical sense. Other than that, it's a good idea," said Paul Gillies, a lawyer and Vermont historian.

For now, the would-be secessionists are hoping to draw enough support to get the question on Town Meeting Day agendas.

"We're normal human beings," said Williams, 39, a history professor at Champlain College. "But we're serious about this. We want people in Vermont to think about the options going forward. Do you want to stay in an empire that's in deep trouble?"

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I'm sorry...what?!

Granted, I was at a bar, but the following quotations were overheard on Friday night:

“The war in Iraq is much more important than what’s going on in the Sudan. After all, people are, like, dying in Iraq.”

***

Person A: “I love living in New York! I mean, like, where do you go after New York? Can you live anywhere else?”

Person B: “I dunno’. I guess London. I’ve known a lot of people that have moved to London after living in New York.”

Person A: “London, huh? I wonder why? I guess I like how old everything in New York City is – it’s, like, one of the oldest cities, you know. New York has so much history and all. I’d never get that if I moved to London.”

Friday, May 25, 2007

Stupid City...

Can someone please explain to me why I’m being “hounded” by Dallas Animal Services?

It’s ridiculous. I’m a responsible pet owner. I follow all the rules: keep my dogs properly vaccinated, walk them on leases, pick up their poop, etc. I even took it upon myself to register them with the City of Dallas. After all, that’s what responsible pet owners do, right?!

Well, I’m starting to wish I had refrained from being so “responsible”. If nothing else, the City of Dallas has taught me time and time again that they are completely incompetent. Why I thought their animal services division would be any different is beyond me. I must have skipped my daily cup of coffee that morning.

Anyway, last spring, I registered Gypsy Kitty and Dolly with the City of Dallas after their annual physical exam and vaccinations. I had just moved to Dallas from Highland Park (where I had been house-sitting) the previous fall, and figured I’d go ahead a register the two with Dallas once their H.P. registration expired. It was only $7/a dog (much cheaper than the $15 H.P. was charging) and meant I would avoid a $10 ticket if the City ever figured out I was an unregistered pet owner.

Then, about a month later, two things happened: (1) Dolly moved back in with my sister, and (2) I found Haskell on…well…Haskell.

Originally, I didn’t intend on keeping Haskell – just fostering him until a permanent home could be found. That was until Gypsy (who wasn’t adapting well to the whole “only dog” thing) decided that Haskell was her new best friend. The two became very close, and – by the end of the summer – it was obvious that Haskell’s “forever home” was with Gypsy and me.

I decided to wait to register Haskell with the City. I wasn’t sure if registrations automatically expired at the end of the calendar year in Dallas (like they did in H.P.), but it seemed practical to hold off registering Haskell until it was time to renew Gypsy’s.

Well, as it turns out, the City of Dallas encourages pet owners to register their pets immediately after vaccinating them every year. So, I had to wait until this spring to reregister Gypsy. Haskell, however, wasn’t due for his shots until the end of May. Consequently, it seemed logical to wait until after Haskell’s annual to register both dogs. Or so I thought…

I took Gypsy in for her physical exam and vaccines in mid April, and Amy took Dolly in a few days later for hers. Apparently, the City of Dallas receives notification every time a dog or cat receives a rabies shot (hence, the whole rabies tag business). As a result, I received a letter in the mail a couple of weeks later (from the City) thanking me for being a “responsible pet owner” and vaccinating my pets. Also included in the envelope: a reminder encouraging me to reregister my pets with the City. Again, I figured it was easier (not to mention: logical) to wait and register Gypsy and Haskell together, rather than separately. Plus, Haskell’s annual exam and shots were due in only a month or so anyway. It seemed practical to wait.

Well, I was wrong. Yesterday I received a letter from the City of Dallas threatening to slap me with a fine if I didn’t reregister Gypsy and Dolly by May 25th (i.e. today). Uhmmmm…what?! Thanks for the heads-up!

So, since there is NO way I can make it all the way out to Forney Road to hand deliver Gypsy and Dolly’s registration this afternoon, I guess I’m screwed. This, in my opinion, is like being penalized for being “responsible” in the first place. Trevor has never registered Alley with the City of Dallas. She’s current with her shots and all, but – as far as the City is concerned – Trevor may live in the Park Cities, Plano, Garland, Richardson, etc. (some of the many cities surrounded by or next to the City of Dallas). Apparently, the City won’t threaten you with a fine until they are sure you actually live IN Dallas, as opposed to a separate municipality. Heaven forbid they check your address against their own records!

Plus, isn’t the whole pet registration concept centered on preventing rabies in the first place? In other words, I register my pet so the City can make sure I keep my pet properly vaccinated against the disease. But what is the point of registering my pet if the City already knows that my pet is properly vaccinated? Furthermore, why send me a letter thanking me for vaccinating my pet one day and penalizing me the next for not reregistering? Especially considering I’ve already completed the most important task at hand: vaccinating the pet! What about all those irresponsible pet owners that don’t bother to get their animals the necessary shots in the first place? I bet the City doesn’t send them threatening letters! After all, if no vaccinations are administered, how can the City possibly know that an animal exists at a certain residence? Aggghhhh!

It is so unfair.

I was able to get Haskell into the vet this afternoon for his shots. So, assuming they are open tomorrow, I can try to register all of the dogs with the City tomorrow morning. Oh, and just incase you were wondering: Amy is currently on a cruise and I’m taking care of Dolly in her absence. I guess I’ll do the easiest thing and register Dolly when I register Gypsy and Haskell. Amy can always pay me back later (she won’t, but it never hurts to be optimistic, right?!).

Sigh...

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Trevorisms...

Da' Boy Toy...

Sorry I’ve been a little less than prolific lately. May has proven itself to be quite stressful. I’m definitely in need of a vacation…

Anyway, I thought I’d take a break from “daily grind” to share two “Trevorisms” with you. The first one happened just this last weekend, while the other is a couple of years old (but still makes me giggle):

While riding in the car on Sunday afternoon…

Trevor: “You know that store 'Horse Chow'?”

Me: “You mean 'Horchow'?”

Trevor: “Yeah. That’s what I said: ‘Horse Chow’.”

Me: “No, no. It’s ‘Horchow’. Not ‘Horse Chow’.”

Trevor: “Oh.”

***


After driving from Houston to Dallas two years ago…

Trevor: “Did you know there is a road that parallels I-45 all the way from Houston to Dallas?”

Me: “No, I didn’t. Really?”

Trevor: “Yeah. I saw signs for it the whole way up here.”

Me: “What’s it called?”

Trevor: “Frontage Road.”

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Ducks. Fros. And ducks WITH fros…

Yesterday, Trevor and I took the kiddos for a walk around the lake. Along the way, we encountered a little, yellow duck going through what can only be described as “an awkward phase”. It honestly looked like someone had super-glued a cotton ball to his head. Poor guy! It kind of adds a whole new meaning to the expression “bad hair day”, huh?!

Duck with a fro…

Do you think the other ducks were laughing at him?!

And YOU thought puberty was bad!

Of course, the humidity probably wasn’t helping…

...I mean, it's SO poofy!

Poor, little guy (hehe…)!

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Dog Bowl 2007...

DOG BOWL, BABY!

On Sunday afternoon, Trevor and I loaded Gypsy Kitty, Alley Cat & Haskell into the car and headed to a very special event:

THE SECOND ANNUAL DOG BOWL

The setting? None other than COTTON BOWL STADIUM. Awesome (or should I say “PAWSOME”?!)…

Anyway, here are some of my pictures of the event. Enjoy!
(Note: Don't forget to hold your mouse over the images to see my commentary)



Like one GIANT dog park…
The Cotton Bowl


Haskell, Gypsy Kitty and Alley Cat…
The Kiddos...


I love Haskell's expression in this picture.  He looks like a cartoon dog...
How cute are they?!


Yes, that’s right:  She dresses her dogs in pink and pushes them around in a baby stroller…
Little Dogs…


There is no bending down to pet this guy, huh?!
…and BIG dogs...


Big dog, little pool...
…and pool-breaking GIAGANTIC dogs!


This is my FAVORITE picture from Sunday.  I LOVE it!
He was SERIOUS about cooling off!


I also made a short film detailing the experience (again: dogs are the cheapest actors I can find!). It’s only a few minutes long, and I hope you will all take the time to watch it. Is it worth it?...oh, probably not, but I sure did have a good time making it. That's worth something, right?!

(C’mon! You know you wanna' watch another stupid dog video!!)


Monday, April 30, 2007

Is April over yet?

Is it possible that my bad luck will end at midnight tonight? Because I really hope it does. All this bad luck is giving me a headache.

Anyway, since my last post, the following has happened:

1. There really isn’t a good way of telling this story, except to simply come out with it: I was home alone and passed gas (There! I said it!). To rectify the smell situation, I decided to light a match. Simple enough, right? Well, apparently not. The next thing I remember was seeing the tiny, flaming match head flying toward my face (the paper match stem was still tightly pinched between my thumb and first finger, by the way). The ember landed, much to my horror and dismay, on my upper lip – leaving a small red mark at the point of impact (which vaguely resembled both a pimple and a cold sore at the same time). That wasn’t the best part, however. The tiny ball of fire also managed to singe my lip hair, cheek fuzz and eyelashes. Talk about adding insult to injury!

2. Was running late for early morning physical therapy appointment when I came across a man in a motorized wheelchair crossing the street. He was in a legal crosswalk, so I stopped my car and waited patiently for him to get to the other side. I kid you not – the guy stopped in front of my car and started cloud watching. Seriously! He was just staring up at the sky for no reason at all (yes, I looked! No planes. No birds. No nothing!). Briefly considered honking at the man, but decided against it. After all, he was in a freakin’ wheelchair! You don’t honk at people in wheelchairs! Plus, he was old and I was worried that the sound of my horn would send him into cardiac arrest or something ridiculous. Decided only recourse was to bang head repeatedly into steering wheel to relieve frustration (my head, not his).

3. Nicely asked child visiting museum to stop running, screaming and banging on the display cases. Nearly killed the little brat when he replied, “Yeah? Make me!” Best part?...His mom was standing right there and did NOTHING!

4. The museum’s foundation is a little…“iffy”. Consequently, the lecture hall doors stick a little from time to time. Managed to hit head with door while trying to liberate it from frame. Did this in front of a group of 4th graders who thought it was the funniest thing they’d seen. Ever.

5. Have lost keys. Twice. This is always a barrel of laughs first thing in the morning.

6. Am coming to the conclusion that I have both a bunion and planter fasciitis. Yes, I’m only 26. Am cursing the day I finally break down and call a podiatrist.

7. Was stood up by boyfriend Saturday night. This was fun...

8. Sustained abrasion on left forearm after being attacked by next door neighbor’s garage.

9. Got out of bed in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Ran into wall. Surprised to discover that one can actually “see stars” after something like this. Previously thought this was a phenomenon unique to cartoons.

10. Haskell spent the weekend coughing up all sorts of fun phlegm. Wasn’t so much of an issue during the day (except when said phlegm landed on the carpet), but severely limited amount of REM sleep for both dog and owner at night. After an early morning trip to the vet today, Haskell is on some serious horse-pills to treat his “upper respiratory infection”. Have decided that my dogs need to get jobs to help me pay for their vet bills. In the meantime, however, bought both Gypsy Kitty and Haskell a St. Francis medal to wear on their collars. Hopefully, this will help protect them from future health fiascos (at least until my bank account recovers from the past month and a half).


April showers bring May flowers, yes? Guess I’ll go to sleep and find out tomorrow. Here's to a happy May, everybody!!!

Monday, April 23, 2007

Incident Report for April (so far)...

Sculpture outside Bob Bullock Museum, Austin...
Because I currently lack the creativity (or energy) to elaborate on any of the items mentioned below, I’m borrowing RR’s “Incident Report” format. The following has all happened this month:

1. Dropped eight (yes, 8) tables on my foot. Learned that it is possible to scream without making a noise (at least not one audible to humans).

2. Set eight tables up on lecture hall stage along with thirty chairs for noon meeting. Upon finishing, realized that the same tables and chairs were needed for another event upstairs the same morning. Was in charge of coordinating both events, so looked like an idiot.

3. Got lost downtown looking for an office building (supposedly) located on St. Paul. Wandered around for an hour before managing to get someone on the phone that was able to give me directions. Despite a physical address on St. Paul, discovered office building was actually located on Akard and Pacific. Upon inquiring why this was, the receptionist stated: “I know, right?! It’s like sooooo confusing. Lucky for us that the post office is right across the street, or we’d probably never get any mail!” (Note: I was delivering a package to the Dallas Convention and Visitors Bureau (DCVB). No wonder no one ever visits this city! I’m convinced that the reason behind the number of homeless on St. Paul is a direct result of the misleading physical address of DCVB. Unlike me, those poor people never found it, lost their jobs and are now living on the street).

4. Had to rush Gypsy Kitty to the Emergency Vet after she collided with something sharp in my next door neighbor’s backyard. Injury required two stitches and a lampshade. (Note: While Haskell’s post operative stitches were pink, Gypsy’s were blue. How’s that for irony?!)

5. The weather forecast for the day of a major OUTSIDE educational event called for severe thunderstorms, hail and tornados. As a precaution, I decided to set the event up indoors. This, of course, meant that it didn’t rain a drop. Later on that same afternoon, several tornados touched down in Dallas and Ft. Worth. Not understanding why all the sirens were going off, Haskell decided to hide under a bush in the backyard. Got him inside just before the golf ball sized hail started to rain from above. Almost knocked self unconscious trying to get both dogs into bathroom during subsequent power outage. Meanwhile, own mother was standing on her back porch collecting large hail and marveling at the strength of the wind gusts. Have decided that mother’s secret ambition is to qualify for the Darwin Awards.

6. Found myself confused over the whole Don Imus situation. Thought he’d gotten in trouble for making fun of the basketball players’ “hose” (as in “pantyhose”). Couldn’t figure out why the Rutgers’ team was wearing pantyhose in the first place (because, really…who wears pantyhose nowadays?). Realized later that Imas wasn’t saying “hose” at all.

7. Gave self the mother of all paper cuts while preparing a presentation for last week’s conference. Proceeded to bleed all over said presentation.

8. Cell phone malfunctioned/died the second I left Dallas for Austin.

9. Managed to forget the LCD cord to the projector, but didn’t realize it until twenty minutes before my presentation last Thursday. (Note: To my credit, I was told that the cord was in the bag by one of my crackjass coworkers. I even unzipped the case and checked before leaving the office. However, what I thought was the LCD cord ended up being a mouse, instead. Figures.)

10. Thanks to six weeks of living with dogs sporting lampshades (and all the unsightly half circle bruises that have appeared on the backs of both legs as a result), I couldn’t wear my cute, black skirt to the conference presentation I chaired last Thursday. Even more tragic? I shaved my legs only to wear pants!

11. Had to sit next to super annoying conference attendee for two hours on a bus. This same individual (who I’ll call “MAM”) was actively avoided by RR and me at last year’s conference in Beaumont. Unfortunately, MAM finally made a certain “connection” between myself and The Monopoly Man, and felt compelled to ask me 200 questions about it. Trapped on a bus meant I had no choice but to answer. Am considering changing my name and moving to Denver…

12. While at a late night conference event, I accidentally interrupted two fellow conference goers making-out in an upstairs exhibition room at the Bob Bullock Museum. Awkward…

13. Had some sort of flying bugs in my hotel room that only came out at night. They were big, black, winged insects that made a lot of noise (and appeared to be mating).

14. Tried to make coffee in hotel room. Was so tired that I managed to foul up the set up of the coffee pot, and (consequently) spilled hot water everywhere.

15. Managed to fall out of bed. Haven’t fallen out of a bed in almost two decades, but the ONE NIGHT I share a hotel room with a female work contact (who needed a place to stay in Austin the night before our presentation) I manage to do so. It may have gone unnoticed had I not screamed on my way down…

16. Was pleasantly surprised when Haskell brought me a large stick. Upon grasping it to throw, however, I discovered that it wasn’t a stick after all, but the leg and hoof of a baby deer. By the smell, it had been dead quite awhile.

17. While talking to one of the interns, managed to miss mouth while drinking water. The result: I half spilled, half drooled all over my lap and the paperwork she was showing me.

18. Took car to shop because BATTERY light kept coming on. However, as luck would have it, the light went out once I got there. After running tests for over an hour, I was informed that my battery was fine. Apparently, “fine” really means “couldn’t duplicate the problem”. Got impression that shop thinks I’m some sort of automobile hypochondriac. Now waiting for car to die at some inopportune moment.

19. Learned that it stings when you get liquid liner in your eye. A lot.

20. At a party Saturday afternoon, was asked if I was pregnant. This does wonders for the self esteem, let me tell you. (Note: I’m not pregnant.)


In conclusion, I’d like to point out that April isn’t over, yet. I still have the rest of this week to go. Le sigh…