Breast milk. The wonder drug. Well, almost...

Banner started last week with something wonky going on with his left eye. Turned out, he had a clogged tear duct, which is very common in babies less than nine months of age. Or so I am told.

To try and clear it up without medication, the pediatrician told me to squirt breast milk in his eye. Apparently, it has antibiotic properties or something.

But what really cracked me up (after getting over the whole a degreed medical professional in 2012 wants me to put what where?!) was when the RN told me to, "Just squirt milk into his eye a few times a day before nursing". As if I had mastered the art of aiming and hitting very specific tiny targets with my boob. Because, no. I haven't. Most days I have issues walking without tripping over my own feet. Coordination really isn't my strong suit.

(Although, what an awesome idea for a really bad super hero: It's Lactating Lucy to the rescue!)

Wonder Woman as Lactating Lucy
(My apologies to Wonder Woman)

I did, however, TRY. This, not so surprisingly, ended in disaster. Banner does not take too kindly to his lunch being wasted and dribbled all over his face. Especially while hungry.

(When a boob hits your eye like a big pizza pie...)

I ended up pumping and then pouring the expressed milk directly in Banner's eyes. And, shockingly, the little guy really didn't seem to mind. I worried it might burn or something, but apparently not.

The witch doctor's breast milk eye drop remedy, however, wasn't quite the miracle cure that the pediatrician’s office made it out to be. Granted, it DID seem to help. It definitely soothed the irritated eye and kept it from getting any worse. But the issue didn't completely clear up until antibiotic eye drops were administered.

As a sidenote: boob milk DOES clear up baby acne and heal scratches miraculously overnight. It is some pretty amazing stuff. If you can get over the fact that it is rather sticky and smells a little sour after it dries.