Monday, December 23, 2013

Jog'r Egg Nog'r...

Why is it that every race we want to run this year happens to coincide with some sort of major weather event?  The Turkey Trot was a frigid 28 degrees at race time, the half marathon was canceled due to the ice storm and the Jog'r Egg Nog'r took place mere hours after a major cold front hit the area.  Twenty four hours earlier, it had been 68 and sunny.  I wore flip flops.  But at race time Saturday morning, it was pouring down rain and a blustery 40 degrees.  Officially, it only rained about an inch and a quarter at the airport, but my rain gauge told a different story.  Just over three inches filled the little plastic tube in our backyard by Saturday afternoon.  Which is important to note since the race started and ended within walking distance of our house.  It is like the rain gods knew a$$hats like Trevor and I would be running outside that morning, and saved the real heavy downpours for our heads.  Lucky us, right?

All this sort of explains why I could be seen sporting a garbage bag at 8:30 Saturday morning. Some people actually ran the entire race in their garbage bag, but I was stupid and took mine off before the race started. By the end of the first mile, I was completely soaked. I'd say it was awesome, but it was actually rather uncomfortable, heavy and…well, drippy.

Then it started to thunder about 1.2 miles in, and that 5K turnaround point never looked so good.  Except I was registered for the 15K, and I couldn't let Trevor show me up.  Because I have to live with him.

All in all, it took us just over an hour and a half to run 9.3 miles.  Not as fast as the Turkey Trot a few weeks ago, but not bad considering I'd been laid up with food poisoning and fever on Tuesday and Wednesday.  That and I find it hard to run fast when the street is covered in water.

But the most hysterical part of the morning came after the race was over.  I came in first in my division and Trevor came in second in his.  Sounds impressive, right?  But that is what is so funny!  Because it isn't hard to do really, really well in the standings when less than an eighth of the registrants show up and run the actual race.  Also helpful?  I was the ONLY person in my division, and Trevor was one of two in his.  So to qualify, all we had to do was FINISH.

Go us!

(Also, my division was "Athena".  Which sounds all awesome, but just means I weigh more than 150 pounds.  So, basically, I came in first in the fat a$$ division.  But it is all good because I still beat every single one of those skinny b*tches that finished after me.  And we all know that is what really matters when trying to outrun a bear or zombie.  Silver lining:  REALIZED.)

Of course, we had to stand around for forty five minutes after the race to claim our prizes.  Because it isn't like we are first and second in our divisions every day.  We had to relish in that sh*t.

Plus, they had eggnog.  The good stuff.  With whisky. 

Posing post race with our coffee mug "trophies"!

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