Sunday, January 31, 2010

Hollywood...


Last weekend, I flew to Los Angeles for a girls' weekend with two of my college girlfriends, Peaches and Sarah C. It was a fun whirlwind of a trip that included (among other things): wine, margaritas-in-a-box with lime flavored ice, Swedish fish, gummy bears, hummus, Mexican food, Ke$ha, cranes at crosswalks, an inflatable mattress, 4 AM, Twilight, almost driving to see to the store "Dash", traffic, stalking Conan O'Brien (sort of), two broken toilets, many hours in the car and a whole lot of indecision.


The highlight for me, though, was hiking to the Hollywood sign last Saturday night. There is something uniquely special about walking on dirt roads in danger of collapse and/or mud slides at dusk with two of your best friends from college. And just WHERE did that cop car go?!





If you look closely, you can see the "H-O-L-L" of the Hollywood sign...





Another trip highlight was getting to see Susie and Aaron completely out of context in a different city. Although I am sad that Susie will be leaving Dallas soon to move to LA, it is good to know that she will only be a short plane ride away. And, if you play your cards right, that plane ticket may only cost $7.50 (thank goodness for free Southwest flight coupons and the wonderful Grammy Pammy!).

Peaches, Sarah C, Susie, Aaron...

Quote of the weekend:

Aaron: "I once spoke Harrison Ford once. He was flying around with two men in his Beaver."

Friday, January 29, 2010

It might have been the margaritas, but...

...this Review Highlights completely cracked me up:


In case you can't read it, the sign says:

"Pleasing to the eye" as well as "the tummy", this "traditional Mexican restaurant in Santa Monica" offers an "amazing selection of tequilas" and "authentic" pitchers of margarita that "will knock you out"...If your just starting you night, you might find a new clubbing buddy at the "community tables"

Whatever happened to paraphrasing? Because I can only read something with so many quotations sarcastically.

That said, I did enjoy the "authentic" margaritas.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

It is all going to the dogs...

My mom called me tonight. From the moment I answered, I knew something was wrong. Her voice was strained, and I immediately feared the worst.
Mom: "[Deals]?"

Me: "Yes? Mom, is everything okay?"

Mom: "No. I need your help!"

Me: "What's wrong?!"

Mom: "Oh, it is just awful!"

Me: "What happened?"

Mom: "Well, I was setting up a Dogbook page for Rowdy on Facebook, and I wanted to upload a photo of him for his profile page. But something went wrong and now his photo is MY profile picture! I can't have my a dog as my profile picture! I just can't! But I can't figure out how to change it back! Please help!"

And to think my heart almost stopped when I heard her voice. I was convinced that someone had died!

You know you are getting old when...

...4th graders stare at you blankly when you make a reference to The X-Files.

Friday, January 22, 2010

I saw Eddie Izzard...

...and he was awesome.
(like a hotdog)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

For Mimi in preparation for her upcoming trip to London...

All I have to say is, "EEEWWWW!"

COLD SHEETS? HIRE A HUMAN 'BED-WARMER'
Holiday Inn offers trial run of service at 3 British hotels

Updated 11:37 a.m. CT, Thurs., Jan. 21, 2010

LONDON -
International hotel chain Holiday Inn is offering a trial human bed-warming service at three hotels in Britain this month.

If requested, a willing staff-member at two of the chain's London hotels and one in the northern English city of Manchester will dress in an all-in-one fleece sleeper suit before slipping between the sheets.

"The new Holiday Inn bed warmers service is a bit like having a giant hot water bottle in your bed," Holiday Inn spokeswoman Jane Bednall said in an e-mailed statement.

The bed-warmer is equipped with a thermometer to measure the bed's required temperature of 20 degrees Celsius (68 Fahrenheit).

Holiday Inn said the warmer would be fully dressed and leave the bed before the guest occupied it. They could not confirm if the warmer would shower first, but said hair would be covered.

Florence Eavis, Holiday Inn spokeswoman told Reuters that the "innovative" bed-warming method was a response to Britain's recent cold weather and marked the launch of 3,200 new Holiday Inns worldwide.

She could not explain why the beds were not being warmed by hot water bottles or electric-blankets, but admitted the human method was quirky.

Holiday Inn are promoting the service with the help of sleep-expert Chris Idzikowski, director of the Edinburgh Sleep Center, who said the idea could help people sleep.

"There's plenty of scientific evidence to show that sleep starts at the beginning of the night when body temperature starts to drop," he said. "A warm bed — approximately 20 to 24 Celsius — is a good way to start this process whereas a cold bed would inhibit sleep."

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Just taking a moment to remember...

Mammaw

Five years ago today, my maternal grandmother passed away.

She was my Mammaw, and we were close. I can still remember the way she smelled and the sound of her voice. I loved her very much.

Even if, on occasion, she was known to make me eat brussell sprouts. She made up for it, though, with the best grilled cheese sandwiches in the history of the world. Served hot. With fritos.


My mom, Mammaw and Pop-Pop in the early 1970s

I miss you today and everyday. Now and for always.
XOXO,
Deals

Less than 72 hours until PAYDAY...

Dear Bank Teller -

Was it really necessary for you to announce over the P.A. system at the drive through that I only have a meager $35.29 in my checking account? Because I am very aware of the situation. Hence the reason for this evening's deposit.

I understand that you were just trying to be helpful, but in the future a simple, "I'm writing your current balance on your receipt as an FYI" will more than suffice.

Thank you,
Uncharacteristically Broke Until Payday

A completely hypothetical situation, of course...

Let's say that you know for a fact that your boss superior coworker was the one who had...um, a "giant movement" this morning in the only bathroom currently available to the staff.

Let's say that you also noticed - while updating the organization's facebook page - that he was simultaneously playing Mafia Wars on his iPhone, and obviously in no hurry to finish up.

And, finally, let's say that all this happened at a time when no less than three people were trying to find and/or get in touch with this person.

What would you do?

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Call me a "leftist Educrat" but I still think Joe McCarthy was a looney tune...

HISTORY TEACHING STANDARDS TILT TO RIGHT FOR TEXAS HIGH SCHOOLERS

08:57 AM CST on Saturday, January 16, 2010

By TERRENCE STUTZ / The Dallas Morning News

AUSTIN –
Texas high school students will have to learn about leading conservative groups from the 1980s and 1990s – but not about liberal or minority-rights groups – under U.S. history standards tentatively adopted by a politically divided State Board of Education on Friday.

The Republican majority on the board also gave a thumbs down to requiring history teachers and textbooks to provide coverage on the late Sen. Edward Kennedy and new Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, as well as leading Hispanic civil-rights groups such as LULAC and the Mexican American Legal Defense and Education Fund.

Led by the board's social-conservative bloc, Republicans left Democrat Hillary Rodham Clinton and former U.S. Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall, the nation's first black justice, on the list of important figures that will have to be covered in history classes.

But they also added, on a 7-6 vote, Eagle Forum founder Phyllis Schlafly, the National Rifle Association, Moral Majority and the Heritage Foundation to the list of persons and groups that students will learn about.

Board member Don McLeroy, R-College Station, offered the amendment requiring coverage of "key organizations and individuals of the conservative resurgence of the 1980s and 1990s." McLeroy said he offered the proposal because the history standards were already "rife with leftist political periods and events – the populists, the progressives, the New Deal and the Great Society."

Those were among the long list of changes to proposed social studies standards for Texas schools that were considered over several hours Thursday and Friday.

Late Friday afternoon, after finding themselves unable to work through a long list of amendments, board members unanimously agreed to suspend debate on the standards until March, when they will take up other social studies subjects such as government and geography. In addition, several additional amendments to the U.S. history standards were left pending.

Curriculum standards adopted by the board will remain in place for the next decade, dictating what is taught in government, history and other social studies classes in all elementary and secondary schools. The standards also will be used to write textbooks and develop state tests for students.

Social conservatives lost some key battles Friday as other Republicans and Democrats joined to kill a few of their proposals. One of those turned back would have eliminated hip-hop music from history standards dealing with U.S. culture and replaced it with country music.

McLeroy and other social conservatives said hip-hop was inappropriate for history classes, and one member suggested it encourages anti-social behavior. Board member Mavis Knight, D-Dallas, however, retorted that hip-hop has "impacted our society whether we like it or not. So since it's there, we may as well talk about the positive aspects of it."

In the end, the proposal was killed on a 7-7 vote and hip-hop stayed in, along with rock 'n' roll, Tin Pan Alley, the Beat Generation and the Chicano Mural Movement as "significant examples" of cultural movements in the U.S.

McLeroy was successful with another of his noteworthy amendments: to include documents that supported Cold War-era Sen. Joseph McCarthy and his contention that the U.S. government was infiltrated with Communists in the 1950s.


CONTENTIOUS TOPICS

The outcome of some of the proposed social studies standards for Texas schools that generated debate:

Labor leader César Chávez and Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall: Experts appointed by socially conservative board members recommended that both names be stricken from the standards, but the board opted to leave them in.

Christmas: A curriculum-writing team dropped Christmas from a list of important religious holidays in a world cultures course, but the board ordered Christmas put back in.

Conservative groups: The board voted to require that U.S. history students learn about leading conservative individuals and groups from the 1980s and '90s, but not about liberal groups.

Religion in U.S. history: Social conservatives sought to require that students learn about "religious revivals" as among the major events leading up to the American Revolution. That was narrowly rejected.

McCarthyism: Social conservatives pushed through an amendment that will require a more positive portrayal of Joseph McCarthy and his accusations that the U.S. government in the 1950s was infiltrated by Communists. McCarthy's tactics have been discredited by most historians.

I yelled at Chuck Norris in my car because Big Bird said to and he's my leader!

Yesterday, I had an oral history interview in Carrollton. I got a little lost trying to find the interviewee's house in this kind of winding residential area off Josey Lane. Pausing briefly on a quiet corner, I stopped to check my map and directions.

About 50 feet in front of me on the opposite side of the street was an elderly gentleman walking slowly with a cane. Upon arriving at the wooden fence at the corner house, the man turned to faced the fence, unzipped his pants, and proceeded to pee.

Shocked by accidentally witnessing this behavior, I took my car out of park and started to drive down the street. I guess the old man hadn't seen me, because my suddenly moving car seemed to startle him. He quickly zipped up his pants, turned in my direction, smiled and waved in a way that seemed to say, "this will be our little secret."

My question is: did the old man suddenly have to pee while walking (hey, it happens) or did he intentionally walk to the corner to relieve himself on his neighbor's wood fence?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Is there such a thing as a mature man?

Trevor's favorite thing about his new Mac?...

That he can type choice phrases into TextEdit and then have the computer "speak" them back to him. His favs so far?

  • Bend ova for big daddy

  • You mudda fu©ka (which Trevor thinks is said by his computer with an Italian accent)

  • Smack dat a$$, beeotch


Apparently, I was misled and only thought I was marrying a man in his mid thirties. Instead, I got Trevor. Mental age: thirteen.

Maybe I should rethink the whole "Trevor cooks" thing...

Last night, Trevor made dinner, asked if it smelled funny while cooking, and then refused to eat what he had created. Even though I thought it tasted fine, I didn't want to eat something that the cook was - so obviously - repulsed by. Especially, when he looked at me and made a face when I put a spoonful in my mouth. He may have even gagged a little. Such behavior did not give me confidence that eating it wouldn't cause a slow and painful death.

The strangest part, though? When Trevor acted like he might have been insulted that I wouldn't eat something he couldn't watch me eat. Does that make any sense? Because I felt guilty that I didn't eat it. Even after Trevor threw it out because he could stand to look at it or be anywhere near it.

The whole thing was just weird, and somehow concluded with me going to bed without dinner.

And tonight? Yeah, I had the supper of champions: popcorn.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Not that anyone cares, BUT...

...I think Leno should go away so I can bask in "Conan Glow" for years to come.


I heart my Conezy. Nothing says "sexy" like a pasty red head with a pompadour. No, I am not kidding. Conan is on my list, baby.

Yes, Trevor married me despite my tall, freckled, late-night obsession. I am all about full disclosure.

Things that keep me up at night...


Do you think that the lady from the Progressive Insurance ads wears a Bump-It? Or is her head just shaped that way?

Friday, January 08, 2010

The best part of being a Mac owner so far...

...is taking pictures with the built in camera thingy.

For instance, here is my user picture:

Hello. My name is Gypsy Kitty. My mommy made me sit in the office chair and pretend to use daddy's new desktop. I only complied because they bribed me with food. I am such a kibble whore...

Reason #987 why North Dallas isn't necessarily safer than Fair Park...

From: Susan
Sent: Friday, January 08, 2010 1:58 PM
To: Deals
Subject: Uhhhh....


Uhhh…there is a police helicopter circling around the building down the street telling someone to drop their weapon and come out unarmed….Ed and I are like WTF??!!!

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Hour one with my new MacBook Pro...

Hi. My name is Haskell. I earn kibble by sitting still and looking cute.

Sometimes MAXINE just says it best...

The following pretty much sums up my thoughts on my job:





Since 12/21/2009...

  • We've had certain holidays (i.e. New Years Eve) stripped from our calendar without notice.

  • Been told that we are hiring interns and paying them more per hour than 75% of the staff.

  • Had our Flex Time taken away.

  • Learned that our Comp Time might be next.

  • Discovered that our life insurance policy was cancelled or discontinued without our knowledge at some point in the last two years.

  • Because we are A) not compensated for the general increase in the cost of living from year to year; and B) because our paychecks are now subject to new taxes in 2010 that we weren't in 2009; I am now making approximately $10 less per paycheck than I was last year.

  • All "staff appreciation" perks have been discontinued. There weren't a lot, but now there are none. Fun.


I know I am supposed to be grateful that I have a job - especially in the current economy. But I am still having a hard time accepting all of this. I work for a nonprofit, so I am used to working for nothing. It was always worth my while because of the flexible, creative atmosphere. Now, I’m not so sure.

I am definitely feeling disgruntled.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

On bad luck and karma...

Because, really, why WOULDN'T I have a problem involving too much water without a water source?

Monday, January 04, 2010

Just when you thought Haskell was a dumb dog…


A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting on the couch playing (stupid) Farmville. It was late and Trevor had already gone to bed. Haskell, however, was discontent. Both Alley and Gypsy had fallen asleep on his bed in the study, and there was no room for him to squeeze in between them.

So, just like a little kid, Haskell came to “mommy” and started squeaking at me as if to say:

Haskell: “They stole my bed! They stole my bed! They stole my bed! Make them move!”

I, however, was comfortable where I was and had no intention of getting up and making the girls move. That would require effort. So, I ignored Haskell’s squeaks, and – after about 5 minutes – he finally gave up, settled down on the rug in the study and (presumably) fell asleep.

Or so I thought.

About 15 minutes had gone by when Haskell suddenly started to growl. I could see him from where I was sitting on the couch, and a shiver went up my spine when I noticed that he was staring at the front door with great intensity. Was somebody there? An intruder perhaps?

While I was contemplating my next move (namely: waking Trevor up and making him investigate), both Gypsy and Alley ran to the front door barking ferociously. The sudden noise startled me, and I jumped to my feet; heart pumping with adrenaline.

And Haskell? Yeah, the second the girls got up, he casually walked over to his bed and curled up in a ball - sighing dramatically in accomplishment. His bed finally reclaimed.

It was all a farce. There was never anyone or anything outside. Haskell just wanted his bed back, and no one would help him recapture it. So, he had to take matters into his own hands paws.

Manipulative little ba$tard.

On cars, accidents and the number three...

What is it with December and the number three?

  • I was backed into on December 7th. Although there was no visible damage to my car, five days later I went in for new tires and ended up having to spend $1400 on the brakes, belts and other near auto malfunctions. Even though I cannot directly tie the damage to the old man who hit me, I have still decided that it is his fault. Somehow.


  • Melissa was in an accident on December 18th. Even though the accident was only 15% her fault (by insurance company standards), she will most likely be out of a lot of cash fixing the damage (not to mention the three or four weeks she will spend without her car in the process).


  • My aunt Mimi totaled her car on Christmas Day. It was a classic 1981 Mercedes. The end of an era.


As far as I can tell, each accident was progressively worse than the last. Thankfully, no one was hurt. Still, though, I am glad December is over. Next year I might spend the entire month living in a cave.

Saturday, January 02, 2010

STARS!


Awhile back, my Dallas friends and I decided to go to a Stars game instead of buying Christmas presents for one another. This way we all got to spend time together as a group, catch up and watch a bunch of men skate around on ice chasing pucks. In a word: AWESOME.

Awe, memories...

It was my first hockey game. Ever. Well, excluding my three years playing varsity field hockey in high school. But that was on grass, not ice. And – now that I have seen an ice hockey game – I’ve decided that it reminds me more of lacrosse than field hockey any way.


There were nine of us in attendance. Six ladies and three of the guys. Trevor was there, and – despite being outnumbered by girls – all three of the men managed to buy matching Stars hats between periods one and two. Very, very cute.


In the end, the Stars lost, but it was fun despite the final score. Plus, we all got to go out to dinner afterwards. All in all, a good day.

Trevor, can I go to another hockey game soon? Pleeeeeeeeeease?!

Friday, January 01, 2010

Happy New Year!

Soooooooo...

Is it:

  • Two Thousand and Ten?


  • OR

  • Twenty Ten?


Of course it is both, but what is your preference? Or do you even have one?

Just curious.