We have a communal staff bathroom at work. Normally, it is cleaner than the museum’s public facilities, so the four staff that office in this part of the building share it.
Despite the fact that we are a small staff, and everyone knows who uses the restroom when, there are still a lot of “issues” when it comes proper bathroom etiquette. I won’t go into details, but please use your imagination when I tell you that one out of the four regulars is a man and another is a walking staph infection that likes to potty barefoot.
In the past, issues like these have greatly influenced my decision to either use the museum’s public restrooms or take my chances with the other staff toilets that are normally utilized by the curatorial and janitorial staff (all men). But this afternoon I decided to use the bathroom closest to me for two very important reasons:
- Today was the last day of the summer camp (fiasco), and I figured that there could be nothing nastier than sharing a bathroom with 1000 middle school females.
- My bladder mandated that I use the closest facility possible.
Pregnancy has a way of limiting your options as far as bathroom breaks go. I no longer ever need to “sorta” go. It is an all or nothing kind of phenomenon. And, boy, when I need to go, I NEED to go. As in NOW.
Trying not to sprint, I made my way to the communal bathroom closest to my office. Normally, I check to make sure everything is *ahem* clear before sitting down, but the light over the commode is out and, well…my bladder didn’t have time for nonsense like that. So I just – without thinking - sat down.
And, well, use your imagination.
The worst part was having to pull up my pants long enough to leave the restroom and walk into the boardroom in order to fetch the Sam’s size container of hand sanitizer. And, yes, I used it liberally on my backside. I mean, wouldn’t you?
For the record, if you are a guy who has to share a toilet with a woman or group of women, shouldn’t you at least TRY to aim properly? Or make a mental note to wipe the seat afterwards? Because it isn’t like there are a lot of suspects in this here scenario.
Obviously, I would have been safer using the museum’s public restrooms with all the hormonal teenagers. At least then I would have known to hover.
I hate the world.
1 comment:
Dude, you gotta call people out on that. An all-work email addressed "to the person who peed all over the seat and didn't have the decency to wipe it up after," with an expression of faux-concern that someone might be having problems in that "area," and that he should consider seeking medical attention, or, at the least, considering others use that bathroom, sitting down to pee.
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