Tuesday, November 08, 2011

I am only writing this because Trevor told me to...

Dear Halley,

Trevor insists that your fiance also said you looked like a fat, old man. According to my hubby, that somehow justifies his comment to me the other night. Like all women start to look like fat, old men when they are in the final stretch of pregnancy, and it is their significant other's job - nay, DUTY - to point it out.

Seriously. And he just dared me to write you to confirm this insane assertion of his.

He may be beyond help at this point. Because what sane man maintains his position that he was somehow correct in making such a statement in the first place? Or rather: What woman doesn't love being described as a "fat, old man" when 8 months pregnant and already feeling a little insecure about being roughly the size of a whale?

(Yes, Trevor. That would be sarcasm.)

In other news, I would like to point out that everything I write about is true (according to me). And, as far as I am concerned, I do not embellish, exaggerate or otherwise fabricate the stories that I post here. Especially as they relate to Trevor, because - let's face it - I couldn't make up the stuff that boy does or says. I'm just not that creative. Which is to say everything in THIS POST is absolutely true. Especially the parts about him telling me that I look like a fat, old man and refusing to let me anywhere near his new car if there is a chance I might be leaking amniotic fluid.

He also said the bit about "who will take care of the baby". But since he doesn't seem to be contending that at the moment, I'm not spending a lot of time dwelling on it.

I would also like to point out that hole-y shorts that you've had since high school (that are awesomely soft and perfectly broken in) are completely acceptable to sleep in. I know because I also have a pair and they are awesome. Trevor mocks me, but he has underwear that look like they've been mauled by a pack of rabid alligators, so he hardly has room to talk.

Oh and by the way: Trevor can't count to 16. Just ask him why he is currently behind in his football pick 'em pool. It all comes down to week one.

Yeah. Exactly.

Anyway, hope all is well with you.

Talk soon,


Halley said...

Thank you so much for making me laugh! I can always count on your blogs for making my day better! I told Ron that I will throw away my holey shorts after I have the little guy and buy all new pj's.

Anonymous said...

Deals, You do not look old, fat or like a man. This statement is crazy. May I ask what outfit you were wearing during this statement, did it have a hood and flood water pants?

You look awesome and I don't think anyone would guess that you are 8 months prego.

Just my opinion.


Deals On Wheels said...

I was actually wearing my hole-y PJ shorts and was about to put on a t-shirt (I had just gotten out of the shower). The actual comment was about how I looked like an old, fat man in swim trunks.

Again, Trevor is amazing. ;P

Deals On Wheels said...

P.S. Halley: DON'T GIVE IN! I plan to continue to wear my favorite hole-y shorts until they literally fall apart. Until then, Trevor will just have to deal!