Friday, November 18, 2011

It has been an odd week...

I am at that stage in my pregnancy where time seems to be going by at warp speed. Part of this is good, because I am starting to feel pretty miserable. The child seems to be living IN my lungs at the moment, which makes it hard to breathe. Today, I got winded sitting in my office chair. And, no. I am not kidding.

The other part about time speeding by is bad because...well, the nursery is nowhere near ready and we still have yet to purchase a car seat. Nesting: FAIL!

I also need to figure out what I am going to do about Christmas, because nothing sounds more miserable to me than having to go to the mall to shop for gifts at nine months pregnant. I obviously need to come up with some sort of strategy. It is times like these where I wish I was crafty or had baking skills. Or, you know, a personal shopper.

In other news, Trevor's grandmother is still haunting me. Apparently she wasn't making enough of an impact with the scalp itch, so her spirit hacked into my PayPal account. I made an Annual Fund gift to a local nonprofit via PayPal and it showed up on both my receipt AND in the paperwork the nonprofit received that I had made said contribution in her name. Which, by the way, I hadn't. The paperwork also directed the nonprofit to send notification of the donation to her previous worldly address, and not me.

Seriously, Gran?

All this is very odd seeing as though I rarely use PayPal except for iTunes, and have never done anything remotely connected to Trevor's grandmother using PayPal or her former address.

So the obvious conclusion is that the woman is still haunting me and has now decided to take credit for my end of the year charitable donations.

Speaking of the bizarre and irrational, the City of Dallas called me on Thursday to ask how they could obtain a permit to sell things in Dealey Plaza. I've decided this is the City's way of letting me know that they've bequeathed ownership of the plaza to me personally, and I can now start charging people to use it. I am thinking about setting up a toll booth around the grassy knoll and fining vendors who pronounce Dealey "Daily". Any funds generated from these pilot programs can help offset the cost of Thor's daycare.

Sounds good, right?

Except I really just called the city back, reminded them that the plaza was...ahem...theirs and that they - not me - were in charge of handing out permits to vendors.

And that is when I was informed that the city had been referred to me.

OMG! By WHOM?!?!

All this is made even more fabulous by the fact that I have absolutely nothing to do with the plaza and work in a museum on the other side of town (which also has nothing to do with the plaza).

Had I been thinking clearly (i.e. not concentrating all my efforts on not laughing in this woman's face) I clearly should have told her to call 3-1-1. Wouldn't that have been poetic justice!

So, how's that for a weekly update?! Can't breathe, my PayPal account is haunted by my recently deceased grandmother-in-law and the City of Dallas thinks a museum educator knows more about vendor permits for their own city plaza than they do.

It has been a banner week for the mildly uncomfortable and utterly ridiculous.

1 comment:

Merideth said...

Well I can't solve everything, but for Christmas gifts I have one word for you.....AMAZON! 'Nuff said