A series of updates and nonsense (related, unrelated and completely random)...

• Trevor felt Thor move for the first time on Friday evening. Told you the little dude was a powerful kicker!



• We suddenly realized that The Fetus is considered “viable” around 23 weeks (I hit this milestone in a couple of days). Not that we’d want Thor to come early (or that we’d be able to bring him home anytime soon if he did), but it quickly became necessary to figure out some sort of nursery situation STAT. Irrational? A little, but nesting had to start sometime. Have I mentioned that I’ve put NO thought into a nursery? If it were up to me, Thor would probably have to sleep in a drawer after his debut into the world. I’m just not the best planner and can’t visualize a space to save my life. Luckily, Trevor is good at things like this, and – thanks to him – we now have a crib ordered and on its way. We don’t have much else, but at least the kid won’t be sleeping on the floor!



• Baby stuff is nauseatingly adorable. And expensive.



• Whoever started spreading the rumor that the human gestation period is nine months was smoking crack. I’m not even very good at math, and I’ve figured out that four goes into forty TEN TIMES. Thanks to this widespread mathematical miscalculation, I have started feeling the need to add disclaimers when people ask me how far along I am. For instance, I start the sixth month in a couple of days but don’t enter the third trimester for another four(ish) weeks. And I won’t give birth for another four months. BUT I AM STILL SIX MONTHS ALONG! Did they make it this confusing on purpose to screw with the brains of pregnant women? Because so NOT funny!



• Haskell is afraid of his food bowl. We don’t know when or why this started, and it has been going on for days. And it isn’t like the dog has had a lot of negative experiences as far as his food bowl is concerned. Nothing but the twice daily positive reinforcement of feeding him kibble in it. So, the questions remain: Why his food bowl? And why now? And, most importantly, how do we go about fixing this?



• Preggo brain is starting to make life difficult. Yesterday, Trevor and I arrived at church to teach Sunday School, and I went up to the door and pushed and pushed and pushed, but couldn’t get in. Then, I just kind of gave up and stared at the door trying to figure out why it wouldn’t let me through. Was it locked? Did I need a password? Was I not pushing hard enough?
  
  Ya'll. All I needed to do was pull.



• I had my car detailed last week, and have spent the last several days trying to figure out how to put the driver and passenger side floor mats back in place. I've had the car since 2004, and this has never been a problem for me before. I finally had to ask for Trevor's assistance. And, of course, he had to make fun of me and say things like, "Have you never played Tetris"? Seriously, people - what is happening to my brain?!



• It took me months, but I finally figured it out. Trevor signed up for Netflix so he could watch endless hours of cartoons. He says it is superhero research for Thor. BS, Trevor. BS.



• The whole "must buy a crib" thing took Trevor and I inside Babies R Us, where we briefly considered the various types of car seats available for infants up to 30 or so pounds. The outing ended in frustration after we spent twenty minutes UNSUCCESSFULLY trying to figure out how to separate A car seat from its base. We even lowered our standards and just tried to separate ANY car seat from its base. Any car seat at all. I was pushing random buttons and levers and Trevor was swearing in public and breaking a sweat. All I could think about was how we both have masters degrees and the car seat was outsmarting us. At this rate, we will never be able to bring Thor home to his new crib because we are too mentally incompetent to figure out how to operate safety equipment designed for a child.



• Trevor made me a virgin margarita on Saturday night. Except I got less than 1/3rd of the way into it and he suddenly remembered that the orange liquor he used *shockingly* had liquor in it. I sort of panicked at first before remembering that my mother drank wine on and off with all three of us while she was pregnant and we turned out okay. A couple of sips of mostly virgin frozen goodness probably had absolutely no effect on Thor. But, still. TREVOR!



• I've had three people tell me I look "a little pregnant" today. Part of me is excited to look more expectant and little less fat, and the other part of me wants to flick off the world.



• I started getting ligament pain a few days ago. I'd had it before, but now it has a tendency to wake me up. I'm pretty sure that is why I'm starting to finally show. I am less than amused by the situation. Mainly because - between the shooting pain and the constant need to pee - I am waking up about 25 times a night. This is starting to make me cranky.



• It is supposed to be 94 by Friday. I might need a sweater.