Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Apologies and making nice...

I would like to apologize. It appears that last night's post caused a lot of anxiety. At least judging by the number of phone calls, emails and text message I received throughout the day today asking if I was okay.

I'm fine. Really. I didn't mean to worry anyone.

My favorite reaction came from Trevor, who doesn't always read my blog. Apparently, one of his coworkers (Hi, Kelly!) told Trevor that my blog post the night before made her want to cry. Since he hadn't read it, Trevor assumed I had blogged about our 2 AM visit from the neighborhood possum.

Which I guess after THIS POST and THIS POST almost makes sense. We've been up to our eyeballs in nature in our backyard recently, and it probably does make Trevor want to cry every time one of the dogs goes ape sh*t in the middle of the night and I make him go investigate and deal with the disturbance. And by "deal with the disturbance" I really mean "stare at it through the patio doors and shout and/or bang on the glass in an effort to scare whatever-it-was away". It is a tactic that is rarely met with success.

To be fair, I would gladly handle it but after THIS INCIDENT Trevor prefers that I just stay in bed. Since I am sure that I will be dealing with more than my fair share of 2 AM feedings in the very near future, I am happy to oblige and let Trevor stare down the possum in his boxers in the study a few times a week.

See how our relationship works?

Anyway, since I caused distress, I figured I owed everyone something lighthearted and having nothing to do with pregnancy, babies or Thor. Consequently, I offer the following:

It is State Fair time, and every year I try to remember to post stories with a behind-the-scenes perspective. This year is no different. Except the top two stories from 2011 are shocking firsts for me and the rest of the museum staff. I've said it before, but you really can't make this stuff up. The State Fair is a fascinating time.

Story One: A fair goer went behind one of the temporary walls in the exhibit and (I kid you not) took a giant poo. And it wasn't like they were sick or anything. This was a poo that someone had to pop-a-squat and labor for. Better yet, they mere feet from a functioning bathroom, and the human turd was only discovered when one of the exhibit's big sponsors went behind the temporary wall and stepped in it.

If given a choice between stepping in dog poo or human poo, I would pick dog poo every time. Just saying.

Story Two: The security guard happened upon a couple fornicating in the auditorium. Granted, it was dark in there (there was a movie being played), but the couple was making very little effort to be discrete. And it wasn't like they were the only ones in there, either.

And you only thought people went to the fair for the fried food!

Yep. The fair is all glitz and glam 24/7. See why I love it?

(Groan.)

The End.

2 comments:

Rachel B said...

Public sex and defecation. What a combo! Almost makes me think that it's about time to break down and head to the fair. Almost.

Kelly Maynard said...

Wow, I hope when we go to the fair on Saturday, my kids miss these fascinating exhibits.

By the way just in case Trevor didn't share, you are free to call me anytime with any pregnancy related ailment, mental or physcial.