Corpus Christi is weird...

Below is the post that currently appears on Melissa's livejournal:

The Neverending Lunch

---Written with Deals---

So, we're in Corpus at the annual state history convention. Today was a very rainy, ugly day (which included a tornado!) so we decided to eat in the hotel restaurant. Which we had also done yesterday--and it's not the best food or the cheapest, but it was convenient.

Today we each ordered a salad with chicken. And we began to wait. About 10 minutes after we orded, another set of people sat next to us. We waited. They got their food. We waited. Our waitress had vanished. They began to eat. It smelled really good and our tummies began to rumble (we hadn't eaten a "real" breakfast). We waited. Thirty minutes pass. The waitress appeared and said that it took a while to cook the last piece of chicken. This seemed odd to us, as we had already been sitting there about 45 minutes. Dressing for my salad was delivered. Deals asked for bread. Time went by. I noticed a clump of staff members gathered around a computer, pointing at us. Decided this was not a good sign. Another staff member came by to check on us. Deals begged for bread. Ten minutes later (as Deals got up to go to the bathroom), the woman appeared with bread. Deals saw this and decided that maybe peeing could wait--hunger was a more pressing issue. After finally delivering the bread, we were asked by several people if we would like comped dessert (umm, lunch first would be good), salad from the salad bar (umm, we ordered salad) or a fruit cup. After 40 minutes of being pretty much ignored, a parade of customer service professionals marched past our table, asking questions. All we really wanted was what we had ordered. Deals looked amazingly sad and pathetic during this point of the experience.

We finished a piece of bread. More people came by to check on us and apologize. We continued to wait. We began to wonder what had actually happened to our poor innocent salads. Again--just salads with a chicken breast. Deals got up again to go to the bathroom because she realized the food was never going to come and she was about to explode. While she was gone, the food, in fact came. Before she returned to the table, a manager type came to apologize and told me the meal was comped and asked for my room number. This same conversation happened twice more with two different people. At one point, someone said "I can't even begin to tell you what happened to your food." This seemed odd.

We ate our salads, almost continually being interupted by people wondering how we were doing, if they could get us anything else, another salad perhaps. Lunch took an hour and a half. We chalked it up as a puzzling experience.

Tonight, we went out to dinner (we plan to avoid eating at the hotel again, since it just takes too much time and we starve to death while waiting). When we got home, there was a wicker tray with a fruit and cheese plate and two bottles of Evian. Wine would have been better (except not for Deals, since she's given up everything good for Lent and is no fun right now).

There was also a note, written by the woman who claimed she couldn't begin to tell us what had happened. Transcribed for your pleasure:

Dear Ms. P and Roommate,
Please allow me to apologize for the problems you had while dining with us today in the Glass Pavilion for lunch. Thank you for your patience, I hope that you will come dine with us again in the future. If there is anything I can do to make the rest of your stay more enjoyable please do not hesitate to contact me personally.

Deals is thinking about asking for a massage. It's like a situation that just keeps going on, even though Deals and I were fine once we got our food. Deals' theory is that they're worried that we'll spread this rumor among the conference--instead, we're sharing it with you.

But as to what happened to our lunch--what couldn't even be told to us, any theories? Seriously, it all just boggles the mind.

But at least we have breakfast for tomorrow!