I had another prenatal visit on Wednesday morning. This one included the dreaded glucose test. Not only is the stuff they make you drink gross, but it - literally - made me feel sick for the rest of the day. No joke. I even skipped dinner twelve hours later.
And then I noticed a nail in my tire, which was just icing on the flipping cake.
(Grrrrrrrr...State Fair.)
Other than that, though, the appointment was pretty uneventful. We didn't get to see Thor or his penis, and I managed to forget to ask half of my questions despite the fact that I had preemptively written them down on a piece of paper in my purse.
Obviously we are at the point where I need a reminder to remember my reminders.
Needless to say, I forgot to inquire about getting a flu shot and have no idea when the results of my glucose test will be back from the lab. Among, well...other things. I'd mention them here, but I've honestly forgotten them again and my purse is in the kitchen.
Have I mentioned that it is sort of a miracle I remember to get dressed in the morning? Because, seriously, it is.
I do, however, vividly remember the doctor calling me, "A Baby Making Machine". Apparently, Thor is still measuring big despite the fact that I look anything but seven months pregnant. When I expressed concern over having a big baby, the doctor just smiled and said, "We don't worry about women that are 5'10 having big babies. We worry about women who are 4'10 having big babies."
And then he joked that he can "probably guarantee" that my baby will be under twelve pounds at birth.
Thor better be under twelve pounds or me and my vagina are suing someone.
The only good news in all of this is that my doctor now thinks I am only ten to twelve weeks away from Thor's big debut. Which puts my due date back where it was originally.
I thought I blogged about this before, but - if I did - I can't find it. Hmmmm...
Anyway, my original due date was around the middle of December (the 15th). But there was a while there in the spring/summer where every time I went to the doctor, I would lose a half a week to a week.
My first appointment in April was to confirm the pregnancy. I was approximately six and a half weeks along.
Ten days later, at eight weeks, I had another sonogram and heard the heartbeat for the first time.
My next appointment was four weeks later in early June. Based on the measurements from my previous two sonograms (and basic math; 8+4), I was twelve weeks. But at this visit, without another sonogram, I was knocked back to to ten and a half weeks. And I lost another half a week four weeks later at my July appointment.
And, no. I didn't see Thor in July either.
If fact, I didn't have a sonogram between eight weeks and nineteen.
I joked a lot about progressing backwards in my pregnancy, and told my mom that - at this rate - she would be a grandmother sometime in the summer of 2012.
In the world of due dates, I went from mid December to the day after Christmas to New Year's Eve.
Which, frankly, is too close to January 1st and not being able to write off Thor on our 2011 taxes.
Just kidding.
(Sort of.)
So it is nice to be back where we started due date wise. Especially since Thor was planned and I was kind of there for the whole conception thing.
Not that there is any guarantee that Thor will cooperate and come when either the doctor or I think he will. I'm just saying that it would be nice if he came BEFORE Christmas. If for no other reason that every day he hangs out in my womb will bring him closer to twelve pounds.
Not that I believe he will be twelve pounds. If I had to guess, I'd put my money somewhere on the 7.5 to 8 pound range, like I was. Still, when your doctor seems amused by your baby's above average measurements, it makes you stop and think about birthing something the size of a bald eagle and shudder.
In other news: I've gained seventeen pounds and Thor is sitting on my siatic nerve. All this is less than pleasant, and the doctor says both are only going to get worse from here on out.
So much for sugar coating it. Thanks, Doc.
Oh, and my personal favorite, he told me to take Pepcid to help my head itch.
It apparently has something in it that curbs itching, but I just like to say my doctor prescribed an antacid for my scalp irritation.
My doctor says the itching is most likely being caused by my pregnancy suppressed immune system. I am normally a year round allergy sufferer, but ever since Thor moved in, my allergies have actually improved. Or so I thought. Turns out the itchy scalp is most likely the result of a chronic allergic reaction. It is just presenting differently than normal because I am pregnant.
And, of course, the only cure for the weight gain, siatic nerve pain and the incessant head itch is giving birth.
Awesome.
And that, my friends, is the latest and greatest from my uterus.
I know you are thrilled.
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