Thursday, September 22, 2011

Overshare Theater: Preggo Panties...

Because pregnancy has done away with my internal filter and ability to avoid all things considered "TMI", I offer the following review of my new maternity underwear:

I was finally forced into ordering a few pairs of preggo panties a couple of weeks ago for several important reasons:

  1. I kept pulling my regular underwear up in front as my baby beer gut developed. At first, this didn't change the way the undies fit overall, but eventually a significant portion of my backside started to be exposed as more material was needed up front. This left me feeling like a plumber. A fat a$$ pregnant plumber.


  2. I was sick and tired of the random panty line where the top of my bikini briefs ended underneath the waist band of my maternity jeans.


  3. My old undies started to roll down in the front. This was A) not comfortable; and B) not attractive as it made said abdominal panty line more pronounced.

So, I took the plunge and ordered knocked up undergarments to match my size F granny bras.

I got pairs with lacy bits at the top. This helped eliminate the abdominal panty line, which was definitely a small victory in the world of dear, ole pregnant me.

In fact, the only real drawback to the new undies is when I go to the gym to workout.

See, my new preggo panties are a little big. This is mostly due to the fact that my belly still isn't really a belly as much as it is a fat roll. Hence, there is a tad too much extra material in my gym shorts and, as a result, my new undies are now the cause of the world's worst workout wedgie.

Seriously, there is no wiggling or discrete jiggling that is going to get those bad boys to release from where the sun don't shine. I have physically relocate to the bathroom to right the situation. It is just plain awful.

[This is where I would expand on my wedgie description, but I am pretty sure no one wants to read that.]

So, there you have it. Preggo panties get rid of the abdominal panty line issue, fit nicely and are very comfortable. Save for the gym. And then all bets are off.

The End.

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